I don't have any active plans to kill myself. My f*cking jesus god all christ almighty, it makes me want to kill myself. This isn't any ordinary Sunday night pre Monday fear.
I am a childminder working for a family in their home. I had a contract with hours and days and orig silly it was Mon to Friday work 8 am to 6 pm but somewhere along the line it was all changed.
I worked last week, I went into work on Friday morning. It is nearly 9.30 pm on Sunday night and I am just after finishing since 9 o clock tonight.
I never signed up to work like this. I don't know anyone who works like this. I never once saw an over time pay or Sunday pay. It's all just minimum wage. At first, my job was to accommodate parents wishing to work but now they have just pulled the piss and this was t the first time they did this to me. Like working 7 days a week. I don't even get time off in lieu. It's back to work again tomorrow. Working weeks before I even see a day off.
It's just a work day should have an end in sight. A work week should also have an end.
I used to live what I did for a living but now I hate it. I want to leave this and just leave the industry. It's so demoralising too because one of the parents can be so moody and obtuse.
I just hate this. There's no appropriate breaks. Nearly every aspect of my own life is neglected. Family and personal relationships, my own health and hygiene.
I just hate this..............