I feel so useless

[shineshineshine]

Not really sure what the point of this is but it feels good to write it all down.

Not sure if it’s the time of year and the sadness and exasperation that can sometimes come with it but I’m feeling absolutely useless and fed up with my life

• my job is getting me down, usually enjoyable and a great break and adult conversation, now feeling very undervalued and taken for granted
• parenting is a joke, my 4 year has never slept through a night in his life, refuses to eat any proper food
• DH is on nightshift and I’m finding it hard to stay on top of housework and staying quiet with said 4 year old so the mess is overwhelming
• can’t always get outside for long as child is prone to sinus infections and I can’t deal with the drama that comes with that
• extended family treat me like their PA and reach out to me to sort everything for them, I’m a people pleaser and can’t say no

thanks for reading if you did until now, I’m so overwhelmed and struggling to cope

That sounds really hard, I feel for you. Could you sign yourself off work for a week to get some mental space to think about how you can improve your situation? Are there any easy wins to take the pressure off you a bit, like hiring a cleaner or a babysitter once a week?

Another maybe not so easy win would be to practice some small “no’s” with your family for things they really could do themselves, then work up to saying no to bigger things if that feels more manageable?

That sounds hard going.

But (there's always a but!) I don't understand why sinus infections mean you can't go outside, and you can definitely work on the people pleasing.

The house stuff just do five minutes a day tidying, get the 4yo to help.

These years are tough, you're not the only one in a bit of a rut.

I am sorry Op that seems like a lot on your plate .
I am in a similar position where I feel overwhelmed by a lot of issues and it is hard to see the wood for the trees .
January is depressing month , rubbish weather and dark early so it is difficult to think positively at times .
I also found 4 years old a challenging time as they are definitely exerting their independence .

I have a fussy eater too , so I know how difficult that can be . There is a lot of advice online and on here about what to do . I know it is difficult not to get stressed about it .
What foods will your child eat , try and introduce gradually some new ones . Keep these in and even if you have them in the freezer cupboard , available should your child reject what you have cooked .
Get some multivitamin gummies so at least you know they are being supplemented .

Sleeping - again check on here for tips .
Your job - is there any prospect of you getting promotion , better pay , hours ? If not look and see what else is out there .
People pleasing , you are feeling overwhelmed just now - so for the sake of your sanity / your family you have to say no . Are they able to help you out at all with giving you and your husband a break / childcare ?
Do you get any time to yourself ? Can you try and go out for a walk , meet a friend for a coffee , go to an exercise class ?

Hope things improve for you soon .

How are you doing Op ? Hope it had been a better week for you .