Positive stories about starting over socially

[user1471435657]

I'm looking for your positive stories of rebuilding your life. I've just separated from my partner of 30 years. My children are teenagers and I've been lost in the wilderness of raising them on my own while I work full time. I have completely neglected my own social life and hobbies. I have self compassion for why - it was incredibly busy and I had zero support - so I'm not looking to beat myself up about that. Thankfully I did not stop working and have my career.

I am looking for positive stories from people who rebuilt a social life for themselves, maybe after a move or for any reason. Do you have any tips? I'm specifically looking for female friends. I am open to evening classes and meet ups and I have done some but i have found that you have to be careful it's not an activity that people turn up to, have a lecture or something and then immediately leave. I have tried hiking groups but didn't find my own age there (49). I'm going to keep trying.

Following as I'm on the same journey ❤️

I've got a young dd and had a breakdown just before having her. My family turned on me and I had no friends left. And all I am is grateful!

We've survived some of the hardest things to go through - looking forward to the rest of my life but defo need tips 🤭🥰

I left my ex husband and all our shared friends stayed friends with him and completely rejected me. It hurt and it was hard.

I moved to a new place, a small village which had lots of social events. I've made so many new friends and my new life is a million times better than my old one!

My advice is to join in, speak to people and make yourself part of community. It means being brave but it's worth it!!

Done this many times. I even have a thread on it.
Suggestions:
Book club; very social
Volunteering
Choir

Say yes to everything and don't be afraid to make the first move by suggesting coffee.

I wasn’t allowed friends. I did 23 years in an abusive marriage. Finally he was arrested and I moved 300 miles away. I started by going to a craft group, followed by joining my political party of choice.

I have been here six years, in that time I have made some brilliant and strong friendships, to the extent that I would not go back if you paid me. (I was 59 when I moved).
Good luck in your endeavours and I really hope that you will be as lucky as I have been.

I would also say don't get hung up on finding friends your own age.
One of my closest friends is 25 years older than me. It's also not unusual in our village for mixed aged groups to socialise together regularly.

Yes, don't only focus on people your own age or with the same background.I am 53 with DC but I have child free friends in their mid 30s.

@SerenityNowSerenityNow

My advice is to join in,

Join in what though? What kind of things?

What are your hobbies or interests?

If you are sporty, a team sport such as netball or hockey lend themselves to forming relationships and the clubs often have quite lively social aspects too.

There is a knitting group near me that meet in a coffee shop every Saturday morning. They just sit there knitting and chatting. It looks great fun.

If you can carry a tune you could join a choir.

Social and community events.
I moved somewhere that had a strong sense of community and lots of things going on. So I joined in..... I joined the book club, I went along to the 'clean up the village' litter pick, I went to the local pub/wine bar/cafe and spoke to people.

If there's something going on then go along and join in ..... that's all I was saying.

There are quite a few couch - 5k running groups near me, when I joined one I made lots of new friends and the chatting helped make the exercise bearable too!

Have made lots of friends at my local church (free church not CofE) very young crowd

Thanks so much for all these tips, and I'm going to find that thread.
I think I have been doing lots of what you all mentioned, I just need to persevere until I find something that is a good fit. I made myself go to a women's cycling group today and felt much better for it.
I also think I want the end result now -amazing connections and good laughs -which isn't going to happen without time and effort.

If it helps anyone, I got chatgpt to make me a handy list of the suggestions:

Book clubs (very social)

Volunteering

Choir

Craft groups

Political party activities

Mixed-age socializing (don’t focus only on friends your age or with the same background)

Team sports (e.g., netball, hockey, with lively social aspects)

Knitting groups (e.g., meeting at coffee shops to knit and chat)

Social and community events (e.g., clean-up initiatives, village litter picks)

Local pub, wine bar, or café gatherings (go and talk to people)

Couch to 5k running groups (good for socializing while exercising)

Church groups (including free churches with younger crowds)

Keep any more suggestions/success stories coming!