Secondary infertility

[McNicola]

Hi ladies. Essentially looking for other people in the same boat of going through the shit journey which is secondary infertility. I have a 3.5 year old son (and just saying already - I know I'm very lucky to have him). We've been trying for just over a year now for our second and have had 2 miscarriages along the way. We've been tested privately and I've been told my AMH levels are a bit lower than usual for my age which indicates a lower egg resevrve, but everything else has come back normal for both myself and my husband. We've been recommended IVF but still debating this at the moment. I'm sure there are others out there who are struggling with secondary infertility (and I'm so sorry you're going through it too) and just wondered if anyone else needed a space to vent/cry/talk about it to others who understand! Typed this after having a proper cry after an emotional rollercoaster of a late period (which decided to come just as I was, in hope, buying pregnancy tests in the supermarket. FFS)

Hello @McNicola it's a really nice coincidence that you posted this evening as I've been feeling low about secondary infertility and searched to see if there were any chats on this for the first time! I have a 19 month old and we've been trying for a second for a year now. The reason we started trying early is that it took 14 months to conceive our son. We did tests and I also had a slightly lower than average AMH, but my husband also has low level sperm count and morphology, making it doubly hard. Even though we know what the problem is, I don't know what we can do, as I don't think we'll be entitled to IVF on the NHS as we already have a child and we can't afford private. I thank the universe everyday for my son, I feel so so lucky as there was a time I didn't think I'd have any children and it broke me, so my heart goes out to those without a first child.

Saying that, friends are starting to get pregnant with their second child and it's bringing up old feelings. I'm doing so much better than last time, but I got the first signs of my period tonight as well and I just feel sad.

I'm so sorry you're also going through an awful time and I'm so sorry to hear of your miscarriages. I hope you got the support you needed. Would you be eligible to be referred to a recurring loss clinic?

@pippabg I'm sorry you're going through it too, I definitely know how you feel when you're watching everyone have their second child and wondering if it'll happen. Most of my NCT group/mums friends I know that want a second have now had/are pregnant with them, and I'm the last one left so it's a very lonely place to be! Unfortunately I'm not eligible for a recurrent loss clinic as I need to have had three miscarriages to be eligible, and also not eligible for IVF on the NHS as we already have a child, so a very grey area to be in. It's really hard to see people getting pregnant with such apparent ease (one of my NCT friends has deliberately planned her second pregnancy so that she gives birth just before the summer holidays this year as her husband is a teacher and they can have time off together and I'm like WTF?!) How is it so easy for some couples and so hard for couples like us 😥