Crisis of confidence - what to do?

[Crisisofconfidenceargh]

Had the most horrendous day at work. There's a system which is relatively new which I am struggling to get to grips with. None of it is logical to me, it's not intuitive and every process has a separate app. Normally something like this wouldn't get to me, but I'm peri-menopausal and don't seem to sleep well other than about once a fortnight, if that. I'm also under stress as work is really busy and I've taken on extra responsibilities recently.

I told my manager how much I was struggling today and they've pulled in the project manager to help me. The project manager doesn't like me - I've heard him bad mouth me to someone in the past. I'm feeling like a failure and really vulnerable. I don't know what to do.

Firstly you're not a failure. Perimenopause is BRUTAL and with extra pressure no wonder you're having a tough time.

Firstly the project manager probably doesn't dislike you - we've all badmouthed people, even people we like so try to start on a neutral path - that was then this is now. Even if he doesn't like you, you can't please them all and he should still be professional and supportive even if it's just a professional relationship.

I find journalling helps as on bad days you can look back on the better days and remind yourself of what you have already achieved.

Also don't hesitate to seek support early with the menopause. I tried to soldier on at first and it was a terrible idea. Even if you don't choose meds, just knowing you've opened a dialogue with medical professionals and understanding your options is helpful.

Thank you. I'm on HRT and have been for a while. Just struggling with so much at the moment, this is the straw that broke the camel's back. I love my job, but not this crap. I've never had an issue with a system before.

I've had similar scenarios. The best thing to do is say I really appreciate your help, I'm new right now but eventually I'll get the hang of it. If you recognise your own flaws, there's not much else anyone can say about you! Also font be concerned with what people say behind your back, everyone talks crap, don't let them dictate how you feel...

Thank you. The system is new to me. I've been in the job over ten years, my manager knows me really well and we get on well. I'm worried though.

Always tricky when you have to get to grips with a new system.
I started a job once with a workflow programme that was a total nightmare.
I found that having 2 word docs on my Home Screen (for fast access) a great help.
One was for an overview of key processes in the system with 'way points' to keep me on track. Best if these are reviewed by the trainer to check for best practice as my old system was complex and had many routes to the completion of a task (some being dead ends).
The second word doc was for anecdotal instructions and advice, I always added the date of the entry and the name of the person who gave it (handy for future disputes if they arise).
I hope things get better for you soon 👍

Thank you. I have training materials that are step by step and that's not the issue. Something has happened which means I don't think I can fix the issue myself. Of course it's related to something really important that needs doing! But I find the system awful to use as you can't see things in one place. When you go into another app to carry out a different process, you can't see how things fit together. You could on the old system which has been binned as it's no longer supported.

Do you take notes on how to do stuff?

Second the journalling idea.

Anyway, here I am again awake hours earlier than I need to be.

Sometimes systems really are shite.

I had a HR one at my last place and it drove me up the fucking wall. And I used to write systems back in the old days. It was totally incomprehensible.

And once the original people move on, if you get a bug in it, there literally is no resolving it.

Is there anyone in your place that is a super user and who genuinely knows it well that you can get some input from?

Or some sort of flow chart process as to how to do the things you need to do?

A flow chart could be useful. What's made this hard is that all the training on the new system coincided with me being extremely busy, so I hadn't had the opportunity to have a play around. A lot of it was self-guided, but no sandbox until the 11th hour before it was launched. If there had been more set training sessions (I had to cancel off some I was booked onto due to business pressures) and something in person instead of all remote - you can't ask for help with something you are trying to do in the same way as in person and the trainer can't have a dozen people screen sharing with them on a Teams call it would have been much better. It was all telling, not asking you to go to the next step and show the trainer you had understood.

I don't actually have much to do with it, but it's so different from the previous system, all the terminology is different and none of the training has correlated what's in the new system with the old. In the old system a lot of the information was filtered so you only saw what was relevant to you. Not so in the new one - you have to trawl through lists and lists to find what you need. Then you think you've got it but get an error message telling you you can't use that use that x with the y you've already inputted because some of the codes are so similar. And then you have to figure out what is wrong (because the error message refers to something affected by the error) and find the bloody thing to change it. I feel my access to the new system is blind and the error messages you get don't actually tell you where you need to go to fix things. There are parts of the system that ask you for a number from another part (app) of the system but you can't copy and paste the number from one place to another. Even with two screens it's difficult as the views across the apps and different parts of the apps are different!

Plus things that were supposed to be transferred from one system to another haven't been or have been cocked up. Then there's added pressure to resolve because it's become an issue.

I've used an iteration of this system in the past, but it was 20 years ago and it's changed beyond all recognition. I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that this is a way of doing things my brain just can't fathom.

@AlisonDonut helpdesk told me to contact a SME yesterday. I didn't know what one was, but DH did (works is digital transformation) and said he was against people using abbreviations precisely because not everyone understands what they stand for. I'd been told to contact Helpdesk in order to get assistance from the person I now understand is the SME!

Anyway my long-winded post upthread has helped me crystallise what I need to ask and also feedback about.

I'd ask to be included in the next round of training to be honest, you can't be the only person to have had to miss a session and it impact on your role.

The help I have been provided was by email 🙄 Anyway, on the plus side apparently I don't need to take any action, so what I was trying to do wasn't needed. After all that. I requested a flow chart and was told they don't have one but can provide something. Oh and I am allowed to contact the SME directly now.

So I'm feeling less bothered by the whole thing.