If I disclose physical abuse in childhood to a therapist...

[Rollohoh]

Would they possibly investigate?

I was badly physically abused as a child. I have therapy today as I've struggled so much in adulthood.

I don't see the person anymore but they still regularly have contact with other children in the family.

BUT I know they aren't like that anymore and wouldn't do anything to the kids, they berate other parents for even shouting at the kids.

But even so would they go to that person?

I'm scared to open that can of worms.

BUT I know they aren't like that anymore and wouldn't do anything to the kids, they berate other parents for even shouting at the kids.

given you don’t see this person anymore, how on earth can you be sure?

BUT I know they aren't like that anymore and wouldn't do anything to the kids, they berate other parents for even shouting at the kids.

respectfully, no you don’t know this. You should be the person you needed as a child. Someone to look after you and stand up for you.

I cut contact just a few months ago and I know because I've spent the last my whole life with them. And since I turned about twenty years old and they had their first grandkid, they haven't been the same.
They treat their grandkids completely different to how they treat it us.

It's like night and day.

She doesn't even allow parents to shout at the kids. She says oh leave them alone, they're just kids.

She's never raised her voice at any of them.

Let alone a hand.

And that hurts too

Why can she be nice to them but not me when I was small?

And her eldest grandkid is 25 years old.

So it's been 25 years of her being a different person to who she was to me as a kid

you need therapy Op
you’re doing a very good job of convincing yourself that all is well

well then that’s a bit weird you even mention the “kids” if youngest is 25

The eldest is 25

There are many grandkids aged from 3

right ok

so…. you are being utterly naive to think you KNOW anything about this abuser at all

do the therapy op and you’ll realise that

I don't know why you're getting such pedantic and hostile responses it's very common for abusive parents to be completely different with their grandchildren. It doesn't negate what she did to you, and in my experience it makes it even harder to come to terms with the cruelty you experienced.

In answer to your question - no, talking to your therapist about historical physical abuse won't trigger any investigation. Your sessions will be confidential.

If you are not disclosing anyone is at immediate harm there is nothing to act on in terms of safeguarding.

It might be helpful for you to discuss how their attitude has change and how this makes you feel. Parenting has changed across the generations. My DM said things to me that were common place where I grew up but o would dream of saying those things to my own children. I’d even go as far to say that how I parented my eldest was fine tuned but he time the second came along - bit of a gap. People do learn and become wiser with age BUT this does not in anyway minimise the distress you may have experienced.

I don't understand why you think I don't know this person well

Thankyou, I don't understand either.

As I understand it, you've recently started therapy and are worried that the therapist would approach your abuser? No, they wouldn't.

It's my understanding that therapists may break confidentiality if they've got reason to believe a client is CURRENTLY in danger. This clearly isn't the case here.

Like millions of other people, I did extensive therapy due to an abusive childhood. I saw six different therapists over ten years or so. None of them were remotely interested in contacting my dad, the therapy was about helping me to overcome the results of the abuse.

I hope it goes well for you.

In response to your question, I disclosed CSA to a therapist last year. She stopped me and told me she was required to report. I told her the man in question had been in his seventies forty years ago, and that I had never known his name. I don’t know what her next step would have been if he’d been alive and identifiable.

It sounds as though your previous therapist didn’t have a good grasp on safeguarding policies and took it to the extreme. You were an adult when you shared this? If you were a child, yes absolutely, but as an adult, who no longer had contact with this awful man, it was inappropriate for her to escalate (or attempt to). Sorry for what you went through x

That's interesting, @Tellerain.

Just checked - there is no mandatory duty to report (yet) in the UK though it's under consideration.

Therapists do have a duty to report a crime that is going to happen.