After school with reception aged child boring

[newyorker810]

Still getting used to new routine with 4.5 yo who started reception in September.

Ofc I love my child to bits, but he doesn't share much about school - I know they don't at this age (any age?) and he's tired after school so having a conversation is hard work. (He can be chatty other times when he's not tired).

We don't get very long to spend together after school as 4 days a week I work then pick him up from after school club around 4.45pm. Bath starts at 6.15pm.

I confess during Winter time we've mainly just been watching tv - cartoons or movies during that time, while he has a snack.

So we can sometimes end up not saying much, and then it's bedtime. I try to always sit next to him rather than doing chores but I feel like I'm being crap.

Of course I try to engage him during movies, and chat about what we are watching so we are not just sitting there like zombies. At bedtime I read him 2 storybooks and we chat and I sing songs.

But I feel bad that the after school part of the day is boring.

Also his Dad is the "fun one" as he will let him play PlayStation, or do horseplay, which isn't really my style.

Anyone else care to share their after school club activities with reception aged child?

Would he enjoy building something with you such as Lego? Or a jigsaw puzzle? Hopefully it will get easier as the evenings get a bit lighter.

I generally think they need time to decompress after school, particularly in Reception. In summer, we occasionally go to the park but mainly we just hang out after school still (he's in Year 1) or do a bit of Lego or play a board game. Nothing major though.

On the days you work and they're at ASC, neither of you has time and energy for doing fun stuff together. It's fine to let him watch TV while you prep dinner, have a quiet meal (he might not be very chatty, mine will sometimes volunteer stuff but don't want to answer questions about their day) and then do bath and bed. On school days our connection time is when they're ready for bed and we cuddle up together in my bed to read stories.

It's definitely different from the pre-school days, but you adjust, and you make more of the days you can collect at 3.15, and of course weekends and holidays.

My DDs in reception. On the days I pick her up from school when she’s not in after school club we chat, do her reading together, park with some of her class friends if it’s nice enough weather, she has extracurricular activities on a couple of days so I take her to those, I make dinner and we have family dinner all together with DH, dd, ds and me, then bedtime routines and bed.

It sounds like a nice way to decompress together to be honest. It's lovely for kids to see that doing something restful isn't being lazy, or something to feel guilt over. If he wants to play obviously let him, and keep chatting, but it doesn't sound terrible!

Your evenings sound lovely. He'll be shattered. If you want to do something other than tv, keep it simple. You could read to him, play with playdough or oubleck together, or colour together. When my DD was in reception we had a routine of a biscuit and milk (a cuppa for me) and a story when we got home. Either me reading a chapter book to her, or her reading her school book to me, or both.

If you want to find out about school, I'd ask very silly playful questions that will get a giggle and he can tell you how daft and misinformed you are "Was Mrs Brown in today, or did you have a dinosaur teacher today?" "Did you have frogs and maggots for dinner, or fish fingers?" "Have you learnt how to speak Martian yet?"

I like to give DS 30 mins to an hour to chill with a snack and tv. I think they need it after a busy day. My DH is the one for rough and tumble so I play to my strengths - colouring, play doh, Lego, activity books etc. I often don’t give him a choice of which activity, I’ll bring something down, turn the tv off and say do you want to play this with me? Then when the nights get lighter you could maybe got for a little walk round the block to break the evening up too.

I completely agree.

Some MNers will have you believing that resting is being lazy.
It’s not.

A 4.5yo will not sit still and watch TV if they didn’t want to.
He obviously needs the rest.

Things like colouring books, Lego and play dough are nice things to do whilst watching TV too.

It is very normal to not talk about their day.
My DDs teacher told us all this on her first day of school and he was absolutely right!

Don’t feel guilty.
In a few weeks time he’ll have lots more energy and you’ll spend less time in front of the TV.

I don't think we got anything out of DD in the first 2 years of school apart from very random things.

I wouldn't put too much pressure on you and your DS. Keep it simple, let him join in cooking or if you have anything you just push into the oven/reheat, do an activity together. Jigsaws, Lego, playdoh, colouring etc.

It's a lot easier when it's lighter outside, you can take a walk via a playground or play in the garden.

I used to make bath time the fun bit just chatting and playing with the various toys. I think winter afternoons are hard to fill at least in the summer you can walk to a park or get an ice cream etc.
Also as others have said they are very tired after school.
What about a bit of baking something easy like making quick fairy cakes or cookies from a kit?
I shouldn't worry too much. It sounds like a nice routine to me.

It is a very long day for him. He needs the decompression time. When it is lighter for longer then a slightly later bedtime after a bit of play outside will probably be of benefit to you both.

I agree with others that at that age they are very tired by school. However if you do want to do something different, my DDs asked me at one stage to have an activity ready for them for after school. I just did daft stuff like make lanes on the table with tape and blow objects with a straw, set up a drawing challenge, things like that. It was nice! But it was a phase and our typical after school time is homework then they chill with tv while I make dinner, then we chat a bit while we eat. And at bedtime like you. Also the morning walk to school can be a nice time for chat.

Thanks. I feel quite reassured by these comments. Really appreciate this network.