Advice to your younger self

[Nicecuppatea2025]

Me and DH were chatting recently and are kicking ourselves that - when we had a little bit of disposable income pre kids - we didn’t ever over pay on the mortgage and we really should have done. We would be in a much better situation now. Silly silly silly, frivolous spending! I wish someone had given me a shake!!

Equally, we bought a house (pre kids) that was way too small and had no garden, then had to move again as soon as the babies arrived. That was also a misguided decision.

There’s a few things that - now I am middle aged - I wish I had done better.

What advice would you give your younger self?

Always buy the biggest house you can afford. Because later, down the line, you may not be able to afford to move (in fact, you might not even qualify to buy your own small house back!).

I wouldn't say either of those two things are errors though. You might wish now that you'd done something different, but that doesn't mean you were wrong at the time. You didn't overpay your mortgage because you were enjoying life at the time (life is for living!) and you bought a home that met your needs at the time.

My advice to younger self would be:
Never get into debt - saving is always better than borrowing.
Learn how to look after your body and mind - getting back into shape is much harder than keeping in shape.
Have confidence in yourself, don't wait for permission or validation from others.
Follow your dreams, it's not twee or arrogant, you only get one life.
Be generous with your time and attention in all relationships (family, friends, partners), don't be half-hearted or non-committed, be all-in and expect the same back.

Do no harm, take no shit.

And you're completely whole, capable, wonderful without a man.

I don't think it's a mistake to buy a small house when you don't have children, it's actually a wise choice. It's not a good idea to stretch yourself too hard financially when buying a house, especially when having children might bring expenses you weren't expecting.

The advice I'd give is to look after your health. Undoing the harm done to your physical and mental health after years of eating badly, working too much, sleeping too little, not getting enough exercise, is very hard and sometimes impossible.

1. Look after your back.
2. Trust yourself, your gut and your instincts.
3. Make sure you can always be independent.
4. Maintain your friendships.
5. Know what your boundaries are, and walk if someone pushes them.
6. Bitcoin.

Beware the Gender Bollocks

Your instincts are usually correct. Even when they aren't, it's better to make a mistake to learn from than to not act on those instincts.

Don't go back to a bad situation, be it a job, a home, a hobby, friends, family or whatever else. You left for a reason. Going back will only remind you why you did.

You're prettier than you know, just like other girls

When women are picking on you, and men are acting weirdly towards you, it's because you're a lovely young woman, and that in itself has power

You're gonna have to rely on yourself in this world. Other people will have families and will try to make you feel bad for not having one like theirs, but your strength will be being able to rely on yourself

Stop pretending to be straight 😂

It’s ok to make mistakes so don’t avoid doing or trying something for fear of getting it wrong.

To 14-19 year old me:

Don't do drugs

Don't sleep with anyone who will have you

Find a career you'll enjoy and earn well in

To 30 - 38 year old me:

Don't get porcelain flags in the garden. Nightmare to keep clean!

Fix your 2% mortgage for 10 years

Grey carpet is not the one

Omg i Just paid the deposit for a grey carpet today 🤭

Start trying to have children at a younger age as you don’t know the problems you are going to have.

Have fun but FFS stay single. You don’t know how much you’ll regret it otherwise.

Take up running & weightlifting. Now.

For when i was a late teen/early 20 something
Bitcoin
Suncream
Analysis

For 2020
A cheese & onion sandwich with half the jar of mayonnaise and half a packet of hobnobs for lunch every day is not a good idea even if the world is going to shit and you need to eat your anxiety.

I bought a house terraced house with the intention of being mortgage free asap.
I jigged the house layout when the children came.
I've never moved.

Don't get into debt, don't get fat. Oh and take up that offer of paid on the job training you were offered!

Not sure I would have bothered with university!

In some ways I think a ‘career’ is a bit of a myth for a lot of people. The ladder seems to be quite short and my earnings peaked before children. For some reason I was expecting a continued salary rise through my mid 30s and 40s… this has not materialised!

You have an amazing figure and you should flaunt it at every opportunity! Sorry rather shallow but I was looking at some old photos the other day, I was about 26/27. I was in a bikini and I remember distinctly feeling pale and pudgy that day. Looking back I had an incredible body 😂😂 youth is wasted on the young! I'm 50 now and everything has gone south 😭