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Our summer house - thought please

18 replies

onepoundatatime · 15/01/2025 10:38

we have a large wooden summer house in our garden. It's DH's who has it as a games room with bar. The whole thing was around £9-£10k to buy, build & kit out. That is a hell of a lot of money for us. It is around 7 years old.

It's a shabby, shitty shit hole. I don't necessarily mean the mess, I mean the upkeep of it. By him. Or rather lack of upkeep. It was a flat pack and built by alleged carpenters. The structure moves in the summer/winter as the wood expands etc. Apparently some of the bits were missed off in the build and that is why this happens. Sometimes you can often see a little bit of daylight through the wooden slats. Due to the movement, the trunking for the electric cables has bent and moved and is now misshaped in many places. Dh hasn't bothered to stain the outside to try to preserve, in over 2 years. The wood is faded in parts due to the sun. Inside the flor is wooden, no floor covering, and beyond filthy. Behind the house are a load of leaves which are going to mulch and pressing on the back of the wooden house. I am sure there will be rot.

We have friends with similar builds. They have all done theirs out lovely inside with sofas, chairs, a proper bar, some heat etc, Nothing necessarily £££ just done properly with nice second hand furniture etc. DH can still have his games room but I just wish he would take more care/an invested interest in the summer house. I want to insulate it, put some carpet tiles in etc and nice chairs. But he wont agree to that, citing ''we cant afford it'' and he is seemingly happy to leave it as it is. I don't want to entertain friends in there as its a cold shit hole.

and to think how much this summer house cost ...

OP posts:
PragmaticIsh · 15/01/2025 10:43

I'd be really upset at that. If he wanted something properly sealed, insulated etc then fine to spend so much. If he wanted a shed with gaps, no insulation etc then that could have been bought for a quarter of the cost. The lack of maintenance is really crap too.

Cuppachuchu · 15/01/2025 10:43

You should let this go in your mind. Stop fretting about it, because it's not good for you. The cost of it is history now.

This is on him. Let him deal with it, sort the issues, clean it or not.

MayaPinion · 15/01/2025 10:45

Leave him to it. Don’t make it your problem. If it falls down it falls down.

Dror · 15/01/2025 10:45

Did you have a question or just venting?

Did you want to host guests in the games shed?

Just leave it to fall down and consider any future purchase with this man will likely go the same way.

onepoundatatime · 15/01/2025 11:16

@Dror I desperately want to be able to host people in there. To have it as a warm, clean and comfortable room. It's embarrassing as it is. Would be nice for DC to be able to have friends in there (too young to drink!).

I just look at it and totally despair.

OP posts:
onepoundatatime · 15/01/2025 11:18

it's a shed, not a summer house now

OP posts:
PlateOfFer · 15/01/2025 11:23

It looks to me as if he is deliberately keeping this space all for himself which is why he is happy that you don't like how it is maintained. Having invested that much money in it I would just take charge of it. If it is to be a family space then you can ask him about paint colours, but I would short list it so a choice of 3 or whatever and tell him you are doing it as you don't need his permission to spruce up a summer house to be used by him, you and the children.

Seal up any gaps with sealant that can be painted and for now I would advise laying vinyl flooring and put rugs on top. You can look at insulation later. There are videos on youtube showing you how to do it, Celotex ie the foilbacked stuff or wall insulation batts and you can put tongue and groove boarding over it.

FigusCarica · 15/01/2025 11:24

I understand OP, it's such a waste, but it's true that it's gone now, so don't make it your problem. What does he do with it? Anything at all? Can you grow a hedge in front of it so you can forget about it?

FigusCarica · 15/01/2025 11:29

@PlateOfFer Haha we have vastly different perspectives! I agree that it could be fixed to some extend but I also agree with 'he is deliberately keeping this space all for himself which is why he is happy that you don't like how it is maintained.'; hence there's no point in fixing this problem, it's a waste of time and energy.

GloriousGoosebumps · 15/01/2025 11:59

I'm going to go against the grain and say that I think you're being unfair. It sounds as though this summer house was always intended to be your husband's space and he has used it as a games room for 7 years, only now you have decided that it should become a shared space so that you can entertain your friends there. That doesn't seem fair. (I'm assuming your husband wanted this garden house because the house is your domain and this is the only space he can call his own.) You mention friends with similar garden houses and say how lovely they are so I'm wondering if your current desire to take over is simply a case of "wanting to keep up with the Jones' ", in which case you should ask yourself why your desire to show off should trump his need for a space for himself?

Dror · 15/01/2025 12:19

onepoundatatime · 15/01/2025 11:16

@Dror I desperately want to be able to host people in there. To have it as a warm, clean and comfortable room. It's embarrassing as it is. Would be nice for DC to be able to have friends in there (too young to drink!).

I just look at it and totally despair.

You wrote that it is your husband's though.
If you want to take it over, you'd need to fix it, your husband must like how it is currently otherwise he would have maintained it.

frozendaisy · 15/01/2025 12:41

Insulate the outside and clad it filling in the seals and gaps

if the floor is good

onepoundatatime · 15/01/2025 12:51

I don't want to entertain my friends in there. We entertain other couple friends in there. There is no 'keeping up with the Jones's', I just like what others have done and wish we would do the same.

I also think the whole thing has been a total waste of money with how dh has let it go to ruin/not bothered with it

OP posts:
onepoundatatime · 15/01/2025 12:53

@frozendaisy something to look into

OP posts:
FusionChefGeoff · 15/01/2025 13:19

How have you set up your finances?

What's stopping you from saving and sorting it out yourself? I know he SHOULD do it but he's not going to - so you have 2 choices:

  • sort it yourself
  • mentally retire the Sunmerhouse
onepoundatatime · 15/01/2025 13:38

@FusionChefGeoff it's all joint finances. He would never agree to anything on it as he is tight with money. He is happy to just leave it as it is.

Its so upsetting how much has been wasted on the summer house.

he's seen what our friends have and how nice they have made theirs. Not ££ or fancy, just second hand bits here and there and it looks lovely.

OP posts:
FusionChefGeoff · 15/01/2025 19:29

Do you not have any personal spends that you could save up? Have you tried costing it up?

Can you negotiate to spend on something he wants IF he agrees to spending on this??

If it ultimately has to be a joint decision then that's very hard and you'll have to just write it off.

He's behaving like a dick though.

EmilySmithGardens · 18/04/2025 06:59

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