At what age does a woman move from being described as “she hasn’t got children” to “she didn’t have children”?

[Kneidlach]

A clunky question I know but this was something I was musing about today. Of course it’s directly linked to fertility and so is obvious in one sense.

But I feel like there’s a grey area. For example I think referring to a 30 year old and saying “she hasn’t got children” makes perfect sense, and referring to a 70 year old and saying “she didn’t have children” also makes sense. They are both purely statements of fact.

So when does the switch take place?! In my head it’s probably around 45, or maybe late forties. But would referring to a woman aged 45 and saying “she didn’t have children” rather than “she hasn’t got children” make sense? It feels like it would be a vague insult in a way that I can’t quite pinpoint. Perhaps as it draws attention to ageing and getting older.

This^ 100%

Yes I'd say 50 is the perfect tipping point.

I would say : She doesn’t have any children. Her nephew is her NOK.
Or
She doesn’t have family.

Such an odd, odd question. hopefully society has moved on! Women defined by age and fertility. No man in the world will ever ponder this about men - or go as far as to type this ridiculous question up and post it on the internet!

there must be better things you can contemplate on a winters night🫣

I say "I didn't have children" and I'm very much still alive 😁

As previous posters have said, I would never say 'a woman didn't have children,' because it would suggest that she has passed away/is dead.

If a woman hasn't got children, I just say 'she hasn't got any kids' (if anybody asked that is: I wouldn't volunteer the information, because it's irrelevant.)

When I was 35 I stopped saying “we don’t have children” and started saying “we never had children” if asked. It was very liberating and very much changed the response people gave to that titbit of info!

Sorry, I know this isn’t what you asked, it just reminded me.

Like others, I’d only use “didn’t” for someone who had died.

‘Didn’t have’ means the person has died in my view. Likewise, your kids are still your kids whether you’re 40 or 90 so you ‘have’ kids whatever age you are. You only ‘had’ kids if they’ve died.

Same.

If she's single 40. If she's in a couple 45.

If she's a celebrity 50.

45

Miracles do happen at 47 etc but let's be real those celebs you hear about are all rich enough to afford egg freezing, IVF, surrogacy etc

My friend was still thinking about having her first at 42. We never talked about the possibility once she approached 50.

I find this bizarre. I'd never think of saying "she didn't have".

I just say "they don't have children". I say it about my bil and sil who are nearly 60 and my bil and sil where sil is just barely 40.

She doesn’t have family

Whoa.

That is completely different to having or not having children.

I don't have children, I do have a family.

This. If she's alive and gave birth (or adopted or whatever) children then she has children. If she's alive and never gave birth (or adopted or whatever) then she doesn't have children.

If she's dead then in both cases it would be past tense - she did it didn't have children.

I think 'she doesn't have children' is fine at any age?

Would never say she didn't have children, unless the person had died.

I think I would usually say she doesn't have any children for any adult female.

I think your friend is a fantasist.

I honestly can't imagine saying that. Even an 80 year i'd just say "she doesn't have children"

She didn't have xyz implies she's no longer alive

@MrsRobinsonsHandprints

Agree with you there.

What a strange concept.
I'm 45, so now 'I didn't have children' rather than last year when 'I don't have children'?
The former 100% makes me sound like I died. Or forgot to have them. Or like it's a sad thing to be whispered with a sympathetic head tilt.
As a child free person - I don't have children.

I'm mid 40s and don't have children.

'Doesn't have children' sounds better to me than 'didn't have children'. The latter almost implies that I'm dead and doesn't sit well with me, but I can't put into words why not. It just sounds very negative.

It's probably similar to the difference between childless and childfree.