Is it normal to worry about the kids your child is around?

[MoSalahsBeard]

My son is 14 and a pretty good kid, but can be easily led and sometimes makes poor choices which lead to him getting told off by us or the school- for example, lying to us about going to a club but sneaking off to town instead, or repeatedly being late to class.

He is a musician and also plays tennis and the friends he has from both of these pursuits are good kids who don’t get in any trouble. However, his general school friends worry us sometimes. They’re the sort of kids that often get detentions or muck about. One of these kids has invited him over for a sleepover this weekend. Not sure whether to say he can go or not. It’s really tricky.

how would you handle this?

I'd do my best to let him go but with limits. I'd definitely get in touch with the parents first, that was always the terms when DS went somewhere we didn't know at that age. It also depends on what the detentions are for, being a bit troublesome isn't the same as being a thug. It's hard to get it right at that age but laying down the law will often just lead to rebellion and he will start idolising these boys.

Yes it is normal to be concerned about the company your children keep.

You can decline the sleepover if you have concerns. Do you know whether the parents will be there, what the kids will be doing?