Down, tired and feeling lonely

[Pointpoint]

I have tried to go back to work yesterday after a MMC just before Christmas, then got an infection (ended up in hospital for a few days as they were concerned I was septic). So have been off work for a while.

I just cried turning on my computer as the last time I was on my computer I still had my baby and now they are gone. I did the same taking down the Christmas decorations. It just feels really unfair.

My blood results still aren’t great, and need repeating in a few weeks. I have an appointment for repeat miscarriages early Feb and just feel like I’m stuck, like I’m not moving forward.

I feel like I don’t have loads of support, I have some amazing friends who helped with childcare while I was having my D&C. But otherwise it’s all been in my amazing DH. I don’t want to burden my friends too much, they have their own lives and kids.

My mother isn’t much help emotionally, I can’t decide if she autistic / narcissistic / or just odd. I tend not to open up as her response is always “I’m sorry but focus on your DC and what you do have” which is very unhelpful when your crying about being told your baby didn’t have a heart beat.

Ive just signed myself up for some therapy…but in the mean time anyone want to be my mum?

Here to hold your hand. You have been through a very very tough time emotionally and physically so don't be too hard on yourself. Grief takes time to work through. You are still ill so don't expect to be 'back to normal'.

You are absolutely not a burden to your friends. Do tell them when you feel able as they will want to support you.

I think it is too soon to go back to work from what you have written here.

@Pr1mr0se thank you! I have asked for a phase return so I can nap when I get tired. It might be a bit early but I don’t want to lay in bed crying all day either. It’s a hard balance.

I just want a mum that will run to me and hug me so tight and tell me it will all be ok. It just hurts I will never get that.