GP surgery rang my husband after I ignored their call

[MyAquaCrow]

First of all I am new here so please bear with me. I am overdue a smear, and my GP surgery tried to call me twice today to book it. Both times I was unable to pick up the phone, so after the second missed call they then dialled my husband's mobile phone. He could not pick up as he was under the kitchen sink at the time, but the fact that they called him has really angered me. He is listed as my NOK, but his number is not down as a contact number for me. Is this right?

I was 'opted out' for a bit as well, via talking to the GP. Never had to write anything about it.

And OP said he was listed as NOK. I presume that's actually a person to contact in an emergency and not a second telephone number like mobile and land line!

I don't answer anonymous calls. I'm amazed anyone answers if they're not expecting results or something.

Iv opted out of smears just had to sign a form but I very much it was surgery ringing your husband about your smear. You've put 2+2 together and come up with 7

I always answer as its usually the hospital or Dr's

You need to speak to them. They shouldn't have done that

I doubt they did

Couldn’t get worked up about it - say you have cervical cancer? I’m sure you’d be grateful then.

If they’d phoned your husband, got through to him and discussed your personal details - you’d have cause to be annoyed.

But, you don’t even know why they were calling him. And if it was to check your contact number, that’s really not an issue.

That's totally over the top. Why don't they let women decide if they want a smear test or not. I'm sure by now everyone knows of the potential risks of HPV and cancer. They should let people make that decision for themselves.

Two points:

• Anger is a bit of an extreme reaction.
• I must have a very strange marriage to a lot of people on MN where I’m really not bothered that my own husband knows my business. Really doesn’t bother me at all.

Hmm in hospitals if we need to talk to someone urgently we phone all listed numbers and say "is it possible to talk to x?" Granted most of my calls are critical as an anaesthetist/icu Dr, a smear is neither critically urgent nor compulsary, I'd maybe ask them to write a note on your file saying you don't want other numbers tried (although risky in emergencies) but can't say I'd get remotely annoyed by it

You have absolutely no evidence they were calling him about you at all though, much less any plans to disclose details of your smear…?

THIS +++++++

There could be many reasons why one partner doesn't want to discuss every health issue with the other. In surprised you can't imagine any circumstances in which that might happen.

Good that you've had a positve outcome but others are allowed to have different views

Another who thinks you are jumping to conclusions about what they were going to say to your dh if he answered his phone.

@Nanny0gg how do you know they weren’t calling OP’s husband to discuss his his recent colonoscopy?

It was hemorrhoids, he's a martyr to them

@Maia77 I’m a GP and I’ll let you into a secret. I don’t care if all my eligible patients decline smears and if every single one of them gets cervical cancer. None of them are my friends or family, I don’t love them, and I won’t miss them if they die. So I’m not fussed if they want smears or not. But calling patients for their smear tests is part of my job. It’s part of our terms of service. If we don’t do it, we are in breach of our contract with NHSE. If we didn’t bother to call them, and just said “well everyone knows the risks so it’s up to them to come to us”, we would be subject to litigation pretty quickly, when the first cancer diagnoses came along.

I get annoyed with the way some people on MN seem to think they’re doing us a favour by responding to screening invitations, and that we, as clinicians, have some sort of personal desire to inflict unpleasant tests on them. We don’t. We’re just doing our jobs.

I understand what you're saying, but it can feel so over the top - letters, emails, texts, phone calls. I once got three letters in the space of a few weeks. And I've never missed a smear test, but don't need so many reminders.

But that was clearly a computer error, if you got 3 letters in a few weeks. Not evidence of relentless harassment.

If my GP had taken that stance I wouldn't be here today so forgive me if I say nonsense.

Oh FFS, have you not read all the replis to you explaining that OP did NOT have an emergency like yours? Stop going on about your totally different situation.

I feel sad you feel like this.

I don't wish to be outed so I will only add I have a close relative who is known to be an excellent GP with specialities & further qualifications. They definitely do care if their their patients live or die especially young people with families who have the rest of their lives to live while raising their children. I'm sure this is the feeling of the vast majority of Doctors, at least the ones I know.

There seems to be a changing culture where in the past Doctors were treated with the greatest respect. My mother practically bowed when the Doctor visited the house. I think there has been a decline in this respect especially since covid which again is sad. A Doctor will do their best to treat patients but it requires a reciprocal relationship which includes care & respect on both sides of the fence.

" My mother practically bowed when the Doctor visited the house."

I think that kind of reverence was really quite dangerous. Doctors are not gods. They deserve respect, but so does everyone else.