Keeping your house tidy - how do you do it?

[PorridgeOatsSuck]

I have clutter. I am a maximalist. DH minimalist.
I always blame lack of storage (we do lack storage) but yesterday I realised it isn't just that.
I have life 'detritus' everywhere. For example, I order a phone screen protector. Two arrive in the post. Where do I store the one I don't use? In a drawer. I go to the drawer but it's overflowing with similar bricabrac. Pens, lipgloss, string (so much useful string), paperwork, receipts, scissors, sticky tape, random leads...I could go on. Yet my sister's house with significantly more people per square meter doesn't have any of this stuff. They have one drawer each. They have no detrius on surfaces nor overflowing cupboards and drawers.

How do people manage to have tidy houses? I suspect they throw away a significant amount before things get 'stored'. If I need a second screen protector, I'll order a new one not keep the one I have until I need it. I think that's what my sister thinks.

Is that right? Where am I going wrong? I'd love to rein in the mess!

Why not let minimalist H at it?

I'm trying to declutter, 'that useful for another day's stuff has been put into big plastic storage boxes, if I've not used it in say 3months then it gets put out the front with 'free,' on it. Whatevers left goes straight into the back of the car to go to the charity shop, it doesn't come back into the house.

DD is a teen now so I'm (begrudgingly) getting rid of her childhood toys and books as she's clearly finished with them I find it tricky as I would have loved another but I'm 38 now and so it's not going to happen. I take a photo of any 'special' item so I still have the memory as daft as it is.

You lost me at useful string. Bin all the junk.

Screen protectors come in packs of two and can often need replacing. She didn't order two phone cases! People need to read things properly.

Why does being 38 mean it can't happen? I know loads of women who've had kids in their late 30s and 40s.

This is very wasteful. But I'd really recommend the Olio app - you can put anything on there and someone will want it! They just come and pick it up from your house. It's brilliant for decluttering while not just throwing things in landfill.

@emanresu24 because I've been single for 16 years, have an autistic DD and although she has very low support needs day to day would find the noise of a baby and change of routine overwhelming during crucial exam years. I'd be happy to date but wouldn't be moving in with us so doing so as a couple would be tricky and too expensive to go it alone.

Plus, I'm pretty much out of the parenting trenches now, I would have been happy to go back to newborn / toddler years a few years ago but see a different future now. It's still bittersweet though.

OP,
I always buy more than one screen protector because I can sometimes muck up the replacement process and need to chuck it and start over! I keep the slim case of the spare in with my phone bills, tucked in a filing cabinet

The kitchen drawer is fascinating to me. All my life I've lived in a house where everyone has that kitchen drawer: it holds everything but you can't find a single thing. I took everything out of mine and put separate compartments and only returned the things I knew I would use. The rest have been binned and I don't even remember what was there, I certainly don't lose any sleep over it like I feared I would.

I'm very frugal with money and hate waste, and I think that it pains me to imagine I might have to buy something again in the future. But I recently found myself hoarding Amazon packaging in case I ever need to return anything, just in case I need exactly the right size box or packaging. When it got to a massive lidded plastic container crammed full and overflowing, I realised that I hadn't used a single one in the last year and the whole lot went into recycling. If I need the right size box or packaging, I will buy it or find it from a supermarket or local Facebook recycling group. But I think that day isn't going to come and I feel better for having got rid of a stash of something I'm just never gonna need.

I now need to turn my attention to my clothes because I find it really hard to get rid of them when I buy new ones. There are some clothes I literally don't like when I look at them but I feel they need to keep them because I liked them once enough to buy them in the first place and I keep thinking that part of me might resurface. The truth is, it's like a bad relationship, once you fall out of love, that's it! There was only one time I gave away something I had got fed up of and saw somebody wearing it, and really wished I hadn't given it away. But I have a sneaky suspicion if I put it on, I would feel sick of it very soon, and so it's not the end of the world even if that does happen.

It's easy to fall into the ditch of hoarding and cluttering but it's also easy enough to train yourself to come back out of it by just really looking at how are you are processing it in your mind. Sometimes just being conscious of your thought process and the action it leads to, is enough to really question whether that's how you really want to be.

If it's not used in 6 month's it gets binned, charity or whatever.
1 small box with sellotape, pins, paperclips etc.
1 small drawer of wires, which is a few chargers and plugs. I don't keep things like spare hdmi etc as if I ever needed one I can amazon prime / argos or whatever same / next day
All ' gadgets' in kitchen gone. I had waffle maker, coffee machine and allsorts so rarely used it wasn't worth keeping.
Summer / winter clothes rotated in loft depending on the current season.

I would keep the screen protector. But just have a small box labelled with tech accessories. Mine lives in office and has iPhone SIM card removal key in for example also.

string on roll. Either in gift wrap box or shed for garden.

Pens in pen pot. How many pens do you really need?

Random pens, loose string, etc goes in bin. I stopped having a junk drawer in kitchen when we re did kitchen and I don’t miss it at all. Everything now has its place, and it’s its crap, bin.

Try and only full each drawer or box 3/4 full maximum. Means you can see everything and it’s not rammed in

Read Banish Clutter Forever by Sheila Chandra, completely changed my perspective.

First off all does living like you do make you happy? If so crack on, a tidy well organised house is not a reason for living. If however it makes you unhappy check all the resources available for clutter free living.

Start really small. Tip out one draw onto the floor. Divide it into three piles.

1. things that need to be put back in the same drawer.
2. things that need to go in the bin.
3. things that need to be stored elsewhere. Store the elsewhere stuff straight away. Don’t stick it in a bag, find it a permanent home.

if you do this frequently you will get straight in no time.

Don't think someone else would make use of this unless you can give it away or Donate it IMMEDIATELY.
In future don’t put anything down put it away or put in the bin.

I'm OCD.. minimalistic and a tidy freak. I married an untidy hoarder! It's exhausting

There is an organising concept called 'the container theory' or something like that. Basically, you don't keep any more stuff than fits in the designated container. So if you have a jar for pens and it fits ten pens, then any excess pens get binned/recycled - you DONT just get another jar to store another ten in! And apply this to everything - I find it extremely useful.

Yet my sister's house with significantly more people per square meter doesn't have any of this stuff. They have one drawer each. They have no detrius on surfaces nor overflowing cupboards and drawers.
Why don't you just ask your sister how she does it?

Put your spare phone protector on freecycle for someone else to use.

Maybe you'll need a screen protector in the future, but you will likely have a different phone which may not be the same size. Plus you won't be able to find the old protector anyway amongst the clutter!

I also have too much crap and trying to declutter! I don't like to throw stuff away that someone else could use though.

Oh so many good bits of advice. My poor DH is in permanent overwhelm with my mess!

In no particular order:

Two screen protectors because they are cheaper (and once I did break it putting it on and used the second immediately). String because....err I'm sure there's a reason - garden, or tying flowers??? Pens are infuriating because half the time you go to use them and they're dried up.

I also keep base quantities of coins, plastic bags, yes tons of boxes in case something needs returning, and yup, I always buy food in bulk just in case (but I have a pantry thank goodness). I drive myself mad. Messy house, messy mind.

One barrier to decluttering is a desire not to waste so I do collect bags for the charity shop. This means more stuff hanging around the house. No room in the car boot as I have a xmas tree for the charity shop cluttering it.....🤯🤯. Oh dear, feels like I've arrived at step 1 on the 12 steps. I think I just need to go in hard and dump, dump, dump.

I'll listen to the podcast a lovely pp mentioned and start a drawer tomorrow. Gotta get it all in hand.

your string example - you mention probably for garden. In that case, string need to live in shed. That’s one thing gone from drawer

Our house is always pretty messy and gets a proper tidy once a week maybe. But we are a house of 7 so it's basically impossible to keep tidy unless that is literally all you do.
Just keeping the hall way clear is a major win- everyone has several pairs of shoes, winter boots etc in use this time of year. Easily 70 actual shoes. The kitchen is rarely clear, theres just a constant stream going into it.

I'd like a tidier house, but also have to be realistic about how difficult that actually is and lower expectations a bit.

Agree more storage is never the answer though.

@Loubilou23
wow ! Do you hire yourself out as a declutterer ! ? Amazing focus
very inspiring thread

Oooh I’d love to come round and do it for you OP! You’d probably think you were living in some kind of lab after I’d left, though…

I think it’s maybe just how different people are wired. I cannot function amongst any clutter and I hate having “stuff” that’s not needed, so I am ruthless about everything having a place and regularly donating/rotating/selling on (I have three pre-schoolers). Anything broken is either fixed or recycled ASAP. It helps that I am not very sentimental about material things either - apart from my engagement ring, there isn’t really anything that I’d be devastated to part with.

We lived with my in laws for several months whilst in the process of moving house. They are the exact opposite. What I would call clutter everywhere. Obviously it’s their home (and we were so grateful to them for letting us stay) - but I found the sheer amount of “stuff” totally overwhelming and it really got me down. Everything is easier now that I’m not oppressed by ornaments and doomsday type stockpiling.

I needed my second phone protector.... possibly not helpful in the context of the thread though 😆

Bin your Christmas tree. No charity shops want yet another Christmas tree hanging around for another year. It really is not a waste. The money spent on it is already gone. You have had your pleasure and your money’s worth out of it.

On vinted: I did a wardrobe declutter probably this time last year. Photoed loads of clothes, loaded them all up with descriptions etc and sold only two items. Completely demoralising. Everyone always talks about the £££ they make. Anyway, I think I've had enough of doing the right thing.

Kids are terrible like me. They have so many books and won't let any go. I tried marketing them on eBay in boxes. No takers.

My sister does buy huge quantities so she must throw away too. It can't be any other way.

I like the container idea. I know what I'm like however, I'll have several pots going in no time to save the nice pens I can't let go. I need to get myself mentally into a place to chuck ruthlessly. This year sometime we'll be starting major house works. So I'm going to need to streamline.

It’s not about how you organise stuff, it’s a mindset of not letting rogue rubbish in.
Be ruthless; don’t buy, don’t be gifted it, don’t allow well wishing friends & family members to leave things with that ‘you might find handy’.