I've been "faking" confidence and it seems to work

[Wintershealing]

If that makes any sense!

I'm naturally quite shy and an introvert, a bit socially awkward, especially 1 to 1, but recently, I started faking confidence, and it seems to be working 🤔

I don't mean being a fake person in my personality. It's more like being the person I want to be in my head. For example I've built up a small friendship group at the gym where there's also a WhatsApp group, so I've been suggesting and actually going to classes with people (one of which was a swim class where I'd feel very self conscious!) but I told my brain just go!

Went to a works party last night ( I have only been in job for a month) and actually danced! I told my brain just do it! So I did!

I've also found people message me more, and it's doing my self-esteem wonders! Has anyone else faked confidence and told themselves just do it!?

Well done you.

And yes, I think most people fake a bit of confidence, wear a smile, will themselves forward sometimes....and, as you have found, it does work. 😃

Well done! This is absolutely possible. ‘Fake it until you make it’ can be a thing.
I had to work at this at work - but the more confident I became the more self assured I felt.
I am trying to encourage the same with my DD - she’s v talented at a particular sport but needs to build team rapport so I’ve been encouraging her to be the same, it’s not easy but it is helping.

Yep the best piece of advice I have ever heard on this is: behave as you would if you knew everyone really liked and rated you. It's definitely true that the more confident and at ease you behave, the more people react to that positivity and engage you.

It's really not easy is it! I would get quite down because people wouldn't really message me, I did most things on my own (sometimes I fine with that but it was literally everything on my own).

I'm not looking to be mega popular, I just want to be confident enough to actually do things with people!

This is a technique that Paula McKenna the hypnotist uses. He uses it for anxiety too - imagine a non-anxious you and then kind of put yourself in their skin.

How do you deal with if you behaved as though everyone really liked and rated you but actually found out they didn't? As in talking behind your back etc?

Ignore them? At work for certain not everyone likes me - I’m in a senior management role and that means unpopular decisions sometimes, but I’m always still professional and act the same.

With friendships it’s different, I would reconsider those. I don’t need people bitching about me behind my back.

If people are talking behind your back, you have two options, ask them why they are...or ignore them and carry on regardless.

Sorry, I meant I only asked that in response to the posters advice on act as though everyone likes/rates you. I agree to an extent but if someone was nasty I don't think I could at as though they liked/rated me as I would just ignore them!

I may have over thought this though 🤔😆