Do your children know your salary

[JanuaryJaguar]

Following on from the thread about whether your parents know your salary I am curious if people share this information with their children. Also if they are aware of what you earn now old are they.
I think in this country we are very coy about salary and linking a persons worth to what they earn. This can lead to children growing up without enough financial knowledge to live as adults.
For my part I gave my children pocket money from 4 years old and have gradually had conversations about salaries and our mortgage, bills etc. My 16 year old knows what we earn, how much tax we pay etc but my 13 year old is less interested so probably couldn’t tell you.
So my question is, how old are your children and how much do they know about your household income and expenditure?

They're 11 and 9.

Youngest has no interest. Eldest is very interested in money and asks a lot of questions. We haven't told him our salaries but we've told him sort of where we fit in in general terms (DH earns a bit above average, I did too before ill health put paid to that, but with our rental income and my small amount of disability benefits we're ok, shouldn't ever be on the breadline, but do need to budget quite cafefully).

I’m horrified I get taxed at 40% too - she’s not alone 😂😂

This is a fascinating discussion. And a real wake up call for me.

DD is 16 and I've always been proud of how careful she is with money. She saves hard and spends very little. What she does spend is done after careful consideration. Which is how DH and I are.

However we've never discussed mine or DH's salary. We live comfortably, so she's never gone without. We were older parents so had established housing etc.

So she's never seen us struggle to make ends meet. Or save hard for a deposit. We had house renovations done after an inheritance, so she likely links the two.

I recall having a convo with her at around 6 when she lost her school cardigan for about the 3rd time that it took me x hours to earn enough to replace them. She probably doesn't remember that conversation.

I realise I need to share the realities of bills with her. How I managed to get on the housing ladder by working 2 jobs (decades before she was born). How vital my pension contributions are. How the cost of groceries has gone up so much which affects how much less £ there is spare to spend on outings.

She's privileged. And she knows it. But I see that having detailed knowledge will be an even greater asset to her.

DD is also very money focussed, she wanted to start earning early so got a voluntary job at a Charity shop at 14. I pay her £5 an hour for every hour she does which is on par with the £2.70 I got for my first job in £2003.

No, not exactly. They're both in their early twenties and know that we have plenty of money and are generous with them. But that's it.

I've never hidden it but it doesnt exactly come up in conversation often.

They have a rough idea but not the exact numbers. Have been open in the last ,especially when ex was telling them he was paying for everything and putting himself in poverty whereas I was loaded (the spreadsheets came out that day!), and when ds was preparing for uni.
Our fortunes have changed fairly recently and they know this and have seen the change in lifestyle but I know they will overshare (additional needs). Shouldn't matter to me or exh as he no longer contributes but I know he will get in their heads and make them feel they are hard done by and I should be spending more on them.

I do need to work out a way to be more open as they need to learn about money more from me.

As it’s a good way to teach them about tax and ni and what different jobs pay. My daughter was horrified when I told her I’m taxed at 40% , you don’t want them thinking that a role advertised at £25k means that’s what they get in their pocket.

Absolutely I also think talking about tax helps explain the way society works, that things like schools and medical care aren’t “free”, so we don’t waste opportunities in school or use health services irresponsibly.

I also think talking about pensions as part of routine deduction from salary is a good thing so the £25k really isn’t what’s coming to your bank account.

Dd (16) asked me about a year ago I think on the back of something she’d been doing at school. So I told her of course.

It doesn't need to result in judgements.

Dd knew from being a teen as we talked about finances and her chosen career path and earning potential. She's now 22y and earning herself. We know how much she earns, as well as main outgoings etc too

Ds(21) knows mine as it came up in conversation one day, but in the context of salaries for various careers, how long it can take to earn higher figures, how thirty or forty thousand may sound like a lot, but when you took off all the expenses like mortgage, council tax, tax, car, insurance, day to day living, saving for a new suite/boiler etc etc etc there isn't much disposable left!

Re salary - I work in a progression with a published pay scale. Anyone could have a rough guess of how much I earn anyway.
Dh's is different in that there is no published pay scale. Dd knows anyway.

Older two know, came up in conversation (both teens).

No sympathy, you're earning at least £50k, probably more.

It's not like your entire salary is taxed at 40%<

We have a long term marriage and relationship and share all incomings and outgoings. Of,course we need to know each other's financial business - it affects both of us equally.

Mine doesn’t know the numbers (her cohort at school are in a weird boasting phase so we’ll wait for that to blow over!) but we have a set hourly rate for her chores which we agreed after looking at the minimum wage and we have started to talk about tax and savings.
She has a rooster card and can look at her balance in the app.
I am strict most of the time about things I will pay for and things she has to pay for out of her money, this has been a great lesson as she spent pretty much her entire pot on some awful junk toy which she got bored of after 10 minutes and has never asked for anything like that since. I also let her keep the profits of anything of hers that we sell on which she either saves or uses to buy the branded stuff for her hobby

I don't understand this. How do you split bills fairly when you don't know what the other earns?

Yeah - although the eldest isn't interested, the youngest is more interested in finances, and so we've had discussions about how salary, tax etc. works, credit, mortgage etc.

I don't think it's bad, I think it's important that they understand the situation, how important it is to pay attention to this stuff, and be realistic about it all.

Yes, eldest is off to university in September, so it's fairly material to his own finances in terms of funding.

Yes, I've always been happy to share our income and outgoings. I think its important that they understand how much it costs to live and run a house

God no - none of her business and totally irrelevant to her life

The house is paid for so no mortgage. Pensions and investments are the responsibility of the individual, my NHS pension is pretty good and I have property in my sole name plus other stuff. I pay for the kids and animals and my husband pays for maintenance on the house, utility bills and insurance etc. I pay for furnishings and decorating. We run our own cars and any other incidental expense gets picked up as and when. Details of our finances are kept at the solicitors in case of death or disaster. Never had a problem, works for us.

@WilmerFlintstone but how do you work out what is fair? It's really odd the children are your financial responsibility, bit sexist no? My kids cost a heck of a lot more than house maintenance and insurance.

@WilmerFlintstone im really struggling to believe this…as a mindset it seems very odd!! How do you know he’s not in debt!? Just seems ridiculous to be honest.

Fair size Victorian property in Richmond Surrey. The roof cost £90k to repair, sash windows were £950 each to restore. Council tax , insurance and utility bills are in the thousands. The kids on the other hand ( 20, 18 and 16 ) cost less than the animals, horse in full livery. Our marriage is built on trust and I’ve never had cause to doubt that but I want my finances separate, that’s the way I roll.