I guess this is about assisted dying....

[AlwaysRight1985]

I'm 39, only child, only have my mum. Very close to my cousins but have a detached relationship to their kids - I'm the youngest of my 'generation' so I'm closer in age to them, but I don't really even speak to them much.

Single, very much single, I will definitely have any children of my own. I wouldn't mind if I met someone with kids, so I guess that would change things, but on the hypothetical stance...

I'll have a very very good pension, although I don't plan to retire too early as work is something that keeps me going and sane. My plan when I retired is to sell my house and join one of those 3.5 year cruises and travel the world, health permitting.

And then what? With no one, I'd love to fulfil all my dreams of travel and then retire quietly to Switzerland and end it all... but do we think it will be allowed/acceptable by then????

You want to travel then kill yourself? Do you think you might be depressed?

I'm fairly sure she's talking about in old age. When medical problems arise and you are often in pain or starting to get forgetful.

I would like to end up in a retirement community, not a care home but with people around to cook and clean and entertain you but I expect nice versions of those places cost £££

Do you want a relationship?

Why do feel like you have to die when you retire?

You do t need a partner to live a wonderful and fulfilling life.
I'm sorry you feel this way, I think you should explore why you are determined to think you will single even at retirement age

Sorry I should probably have added that I am intentionally single and celibate after spending over a decade in a relationship where I was beaten and raped regularly. And then once I'd finally felt I got over that I got with someone who ended up cheating on me with at least 4 women due to my endometriosis

I do get what you're saying. I'm currently supporting a family member through a terminal diagnosis and it's horrific - I have a son and absolutely do not want him worrying/caring for me/dealing with the logistics of me being old and needing care.

Not sure what the answer is to be fair. Don't think I'd want to cause family members pain if I decided to go through with assisted dying (Me Before You scarred me!) ~ ideally I'd squeeze every drop out of life and when I started to need serious help, just fade away. Who knows though 💁‍♀️

💐I'm sorry OP. Have you had any support with that?

I have. And it's what helps me with life now. But the future is the problem...

Anything could happen between now and when you're 70. It helps to take things one day at a time.

Sorry I've just realised this should say I will definitely NOT have kids of my own

I think this sounds like a marvellous plan when old enough. Much better than falling apart in a nursing home. Rational planning maybe rather than depression.

What do you mean by "with no one"? You may not have children or other close family, but do you have friends, or acquaintances who could become friends? If you have friends you have someone. And if you don't at the moment, as a PP said anything could happen between now and retirement to mean you're not on your own.

He didn't cheat because of your endo, he cheated because he's a cheating bastard.

Sorry you have had such awful experiences OP, I think unresolved trauma can massively restrict your potential for future happiness/ hopefulness. Have you had some help to process and move past these experiences?

Trauma aside... I don't have children and I won't have close family by the time I'm old either. I'd rather have a shorter and more fulfilling retirement than a long one where I scrimp and save into old age (and poor health). I plan to live somewhere warm and pleasant and enjoy my retirement for as long as possible but have a one way trip to Dignitas as a back up plan for when health or funds start to fail!

What horrible men you have dated I'm sorry op. I have also dated men who have used me and treated me badly.
I am single now - I'd love to have a lovely husband but not feeling all that hopeful.
However I don't think life isn't worth living without a man, far from it. The happiest 40 somethings are single child free weddings. You can focus on building amazing friendships and finding hobbbies that bring you joy and keep on travelling then when you're and old lady joining a fun retirement community with activities and outings and old people yoga etc.

• women Not weddings

I don't think that sounds depressing at all. We are all going to die at some point. Better to have travelled and enjoyed life in good health as much as possible, then end it before crippled with pain, or unable to recognise people you should. Switzerland is a stunning country, there are worse places to end your life.

I would sincerely hope that by the time OP wishes to end her life the UK has caught up and allows this in the UK. I'm early 50s and hopefully healthy for a while longer but if I am not I am also popping over to Switzerland. I don't wish for my 2 DC to ever have to go through what those on the elderly parents board go through.

Those who don't wish to take this route don't need to even consider it but for those that do it should be an option.

What kind of a question is that? You are spouting cod psychology.
The OPs plan is perfectly sound. We should all be able to determine when and how we die where possible.

I think it should be acceptable to decide at which level of health you no longer want to live. I actually really like ops plan of travelling and enjoying life and then at a time of her choosing the time of her death. I don’t want to be old and ill and have a dragged out end where I need to be toileted and fed and pumped full of various drugs to keep me going.

I agree with this entirely. Most of us have witnessed or at the very least, read about the awful situations elderly/terminally I'll people find themselves in.

It really pisses me off when the 'depression card' is pulled out and thrust in your face at the mere mention of not wanting to suffer a long drawn out death.

It's not depression, it's sense.