How do you shut down your brain for negativity?

[Ineedtosleepforaweek]

Every night when I go to sleep, My mind just wonders of overthinking all the negativity around me and toxic people which I can't get rid of because they are only toxic to me and not my husband (because of course he is their child). I have started binge reading books which helps a lot with my sleep and keeps all the unwanted thoughts away but when I am not reading, Its hard not to go down the road about how emotionally abusive your in-laws are. Also keep in ny mind I can't get rid of them due to cultural issues. I do avoid them when they are talking shit and veing negative but after that I just can't help myself thinking about all the awful things they have said or done. My husband is aware of this and have had huge fights with them regarding this and many other things but they just won't change.

Audiobooks on a sleep timer.
Learn a language and go over new vocabulary in your head.
Tell yourself a story, think through the plot of your favourite book or film.
Imagine every step of your favourite walk.
The alphabet game: name an insect starting with every letter of the alphabet. Or girls' names. Holiday destinations. Castles. Vegetables. Bands. Etc....

Your brain is trying to solve a problem for you, brains love trying to solve problems and keep you safe. So you could reassure it that although these people are annoying or unpleasant, they're not dangerous, that you're safe. List to yourself all the times you've felt comfortable in the day. List to yourself one or two things you're proud of from the day, however small they might feel.

Or if you feel there are concrete actions you can take to solve the issue, get up and write down what you're going to do, and go back to bed.

I have this problem, it actually just delays the problem by distracting yourself.

Get up, write down exactly what you would say to them and I mean exactly get it right off your chest. Rip it up into lots of pieces so no one can read it and put it at the bottom of the bin.

Also your husband does need to support you emotionally even if there is nothing you can do about it. Otherwise withdraw from social settings with them. Good luck, I've had 16 years of them

I find listening to some white noise on my phone or alexa helps. Or there is pink, brown whatever noise you could try too

I have negative rumination problems (exH).

I read the other day that the brain neurons that fire together - wire together.

I have taken this to mean the more often you have those negative thoughts the more they become entrenched in your brain.

Now, as soon as I notice I’m doing this, I try to replace the thought with more positive ones. What my future plans are, things I’m looking forward to etc.

It’s hard work, but I think that’s the only way I can break this bad habit. Distraction also works to some extent. I listen to podcasts as I fall asleep, this now mostly replaces the nighttime ruminations. But I have plenty of other times I need to stop.

With hindsight it's just a part of the healing from a horrible or traumatic incident which just takes me a long time (a year or so) to stop replaying in my mind.

Unfortunately I have had many instances over the years where I have had to recover myself and like the poster said above it's your brain trying to work out the problem.

I have definitely not created new pathways as I don't give my ex a second thought now, but I really did ruminate about him so much as I was so angry.

It's about healing and acknowledging your feelings whilst trying to carry on and have a nice life is a balance.

And nobody should feel they have no choice about having emotionally abusive people in their life, no matter what cultural reasons might be used as an excuse for their behaviour or for you having to put up with it!