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Original poster

This may sound stupid

7 replies

zef · 09/01/2025 11:27

I am terrified of going to the street with my baby on my own. I'm terrified of being in my house during the night thinking about all the crime is going on in the uk. How are we supposed to feel safe?
All that goes through my head is, if i go out with my baby alone someone will try to take him of me, or kidnap us both ( recently came up on the news a mum got put in a van with her kids)
I'm scared at night, as there always noise and people screaming outside, this is not a way to live. i can't be happy and safe in this area. But it's not that easy to just move somewhere else, as everywhere is the same now. I live 2 minutes from a police station, and still this area is rough and full of crime. Yesterday there was i on a website to check the crime in my area, and 95% of this crimes weren't even solved as there was no evidence for them.. I'm just scared of doing my normal life, it's really upsetting. even going to a shop during the day im scared.

OP posts:
LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaa · 09/01/2025 11:30

Did you feel like this before baby was born OP? How old is your little one?

It sounds a little like anxiety, which can be heightened after birth. Could you have a chat with your health visitor or GP for some support?

Please remember to put those statistics into contexts. Crimes such as criminal damage or antisocial behaviour are likely to go unsolved, and will be making up a large part of that percentage. Obviously I’m not saying those crimes are ok, but they are very different to violent crimes.

Original poster
zef · 09/01/2025 11:31

not forgetting that last week at 6am, 2 streets away from my house a man got stabbed apparently for no reason, just wrong place wrong time. what is this country becoming?

OP posts:
Original poster
zef · 09/01/2025 11:32

LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaa · 09/01/2025 11:30

Did you feel like this before baby was born OP? How old is your little one?

It sounds a little like anxiety, which can be heightened after birth. Could you have a chat with your health visitor or GP for some support?

Please remember to put those statistics into contexts. Crimes such as criminal damage or antisocial behaviour are likely to go unsolved, and will be making up a large part of that percentage. Obviously I’m not saying those crimes are ok, but they are very different to violent crimes.

i was already a bit like this, but since having my baby it got worse... all bad scenarios come to my head if someone breaks into my home and hurt my baby or if i'm not able to protect him and they steal him, and what would they do if they took him. it definitely got worse 😭. i'm a bit ashamed to speak to gp, as they could think im crazy..

OP posts:
AwaitingFreedom · 09/01/2025 11:38

Ohhhh... I remember feeling like that after my baby was born. Those raging protective hormones have a lot to answer for! Took me about five years before I could watch the 9pm news again 😂

LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaa · 09/01/2025 11:40

zef · 09/01/2025 11:32

i was already a bit like this, but since having my baby it got worse... all bad scenarios come to my head if someone breaks into my home and hurt my baby or if i'm not able to protect him and they steal him, and what would they do if they took him. it definitely got worse 😭. i'm a bit ashamed to speak to gp, as they could think im crazy..

Show quote history

They won’t think you’re crazy, I promise.

This is really, really common after having a baby and it sounds like you do need some support. Much better to reach out and ask for help than try to push it down and it gets worse.

BeamMeTheFuckUp · 09/01/2025 12:11

i was already a bit like this, but since having my baby it got worse... all bad scenarios come to my head if someone breaks into my home and hurt my baby or if i'm not able to protect him and they steal him, and what would they do if they took him. it definitely got worse 😭. i'm a bit ashamed to speak to gp, as they could think im crazy..

They won't think you're crazy I promise. I didn't seek the help I needed because I was worried about this. It ended up becoming another scenario I'd worry about, I played out various scenarios of me being seen as a shit mum and my baby being taken away. Logically in my head I knew the scenarios I made up were unlikely to happen but I couldn't stop myself thinking about them, and they'd consume me at times and trying to keep it secret was exhausting.

I have always been of a nervous disposition, my father used to verbalise a lot "what if..." at me for as long as he was alive and I think my catastrophising started from that.

When I had my baby it got so much worse because I became very good at turning everything into a potential threat.

Playing final destination type scenarios in my head and trying to appear "normal" to avoid people thinking I was crazy. I got so bad that when I had nothing to worry about, I felt even more stressed because I worried I was "missing" something.

I wish I spoke to someone sooner, it was only in my 40s when I started therapy and my therapist told me its very common and lots of people struggle with this, and she was right, because now I've started talking about it a little I've been shocked to learn that people I knew really well struggle with the same thing but have also been too scared to get help. All that suffering because we were feeling ashamed. It's heartbreaking to me.

Beezknees · 09/01/2025 12:16

Please speak to your GP to access some support, you shouldn't have to go through life like this.

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