Do you still drive even though you have caused an accident?

[ResponsibleDriver]

Hi, please be gentle with me as I am feeling very fragile mentally and physically.

I was involved in a car accident this week. I didn't notice a car in front had stopped to make a turning until a bit too late - very low sun and I was looking past him for my turning but completely and utterly my fault. I slammed on my breaks and did hit him but had slowed to I think around 15 mph by the time I did.

The car behind me had no time to react and she went into the back of me at 40. She was sore from the airbags but thankfully nothing more severe.

I really feel like I can't ever drive again. I am the reason people were hurt. My teenager was in the car with me and the thought of what could have happened to them or the other drivers has honestly kept me awake for hours upset every night since.

Has anyone ever made the decision to never drive again?

I just feel like if I can't drive properly 100% of the time I shouldn't do it at all given what is at stake.

You need to get out driving again as soon as possible. Yes, you may be more nervous and cautious but you need to do it.
I work in insurance claims. Accidents happen. Most of them are minor but many people will be involved in one at some point.
Forgive yourself!

And yes, the woman who drove into you is entirely to blame (possibly along with the sun) for hitting you. She should have been paying more attention! In fact at that speed, she might have hit you even if youd stopped sooner. So out that one right out of your mind.

Also I’ve been involved in a few rear end shunts - once my fault hitting someone else and four separate times (I know!) I have been hit from behind. I would not have expected any of those drivers to have given up driving. It really happens all the time.

I actually do feel a bit better so thank you everyone.

I am so grateful no one was seriously hurt. Aside from some whiplash (a minor smack to the front and then someone hitting you at 40 from behind seconds later feels a bit like a pinball machine) we have all walked away fine.

The car I hit had minor bumper damage and he luckily drove his away. My car and the driver behind are total write offs. I am lucky that I have a 7 seater that absorbed the impact amazingly well. The boot / third row of seats ended up crumpled so I will always be grateful no one was there.

I don't want to give up driving so I will stop telling myself I have to and see how I feel in a week or so.

I don't think the guilty feeling will ever go though.

So actually if it hadn’t been for someone ploughing into you at 40 you’d have had a minor bump with both cars being drivable. It would have been annoying but probably not a big deal. Now, entirely due to someone taking no action to brake, your car is written off. That’s the woman behind’s fault, not yours. You’re extremely lucky you weren’t injured more from her actions. She is very lucky too.

I would encourage you to drive. You'll have learned major lessons from this about attention and adapting in conditions where visibility is poor etc. You'll be a safer driver than many many people on the roads.

Her hitting you at 40 means she was way too close or not paying attention, that is not your fault. I hope she is admitting fault through the insurance.

You caused a very minor accident by hitting the car in front at very low speed and low impact on everyone. The car behind you was ENTIRELY at fault for hitting you at 40mph and it's THEM who should be feeling guilty and relieved only cars were written off. They were at fault, not you. Always the car behind you who is at fault in an accident (unless you reversed into them).

This.

You're only responsible for hitting the car in front of you. The car behind you has to take responsibility for not leaving a large enough gap to be able to stop in time. If you hit the car in front at 15moh and the person behind you got you at 40, she was obviously travelling far too fast for the situation. You should claim for the damage to your car off her insurance and I'd be amazed if your insurance company doesn't go down this route.

Stop beating yourself up op, these things happen, you learn from them and that's what we have insurance for

The first day I took the company car out (when I was 18!) I stopped mistakenly at a green traffic light whilst turning left. Unable to see around the corner, someone went into the back of me, taking out my rear window, and then someone else went into the back of them.

Legally it wasn't my fault at all, even though I'd done something stupid. It was a lesson learned, and yes, I felt guilty and shaken for ages afterwards, but learned a valuable lesson to keep a safe distance from the person in front as unless they reverse into you, it's automatically your fault!

The best advice is to recover physically, and then get back on the horse that threw you. Go out for a drive with a friend or partner, someone patient, and then just make it routine again. If your car is a write off, consider getting a new one with automatic breaking / audio warning if you get too close to the car in front, for extra peace of mind.

OP- I did something really similar last year, although no-one rear ended me so it was a 2 vehicle "fender bender"- both vehicles drivable and no-one even slightly injured as I was almost at a stop when I hit the van in front. It was still really horrible. I was shaking and played it over and over in my mind for weeks. At the time I'd been driving for 30 years with high mileage without incident.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say but ultimately, the fact that you're dwelling on it shows that you're not a complacent driver- also agree with pp that the woman who hit you was at fault for that part.

You won't effectively avoid future accidents by always being a passenger.

Agree with the suggestion above of a defensive driving or advanced driving skills course. https://www.rospa.com/shop/products/rospa-level-2-award-in-defensive-driver-developmen

Not directly related, but as part of my work I deal with security incidents - 98% of the time they are "accidents", caused by poor processes or human error. We don't take a blame approach, our focus is on the lessons that can be learnt. Shit happens. What is important is what you can learn from it, the reflection and the steps you take to prevent it happening again, or potentially worse outcomes. A minor accident that gets you to take steps that can prevent a serious accident in the future? That's a win.

It's normal to feel that way but the best thing you could do is get back behind the wheel asap.
Take it as a learning experience of what can happen due to not paying enough attention.
But in the grand scheme of things you weren't driving dangerously and there were extenuating circumstances- the bright sunlight and the fact that the driver behind went in to you too so probably the sun was affecting them too.
I did similar a couple of years ago, driver in front started moving at a roundabout but then stopped but I carried on going and hit the back of them. I took responsibility but also was partly their fault, I could see the road was clear to enter the roundabout but there was bright sunlight so the driver in front hesitated.
It was a very low speed collision and nobody was hurt so took it as one of those things- I've been driving over 20 years and it's the only collision I've had.
I think every driver will do something minor like this at some point.
Speeding, using a mobile, drink driving etc are far far worse.

You need to get back in a car and drive asap. I had an accident which wasn’t my fault ten days after passing my test and the police officer said I must not put it off. I made myself drive the following day.

I am so sorry this has happened to you. I hit a very large deer that ran into the side of the car. The poor creature was badly injured and had to be put to sleep. Even though I couldn’t have missed it my initial response was that I never wanted to drive again. What if I had injured a human being? Could I have done anything differently? Sorry for the poor animal.
Slowly over the next few days I started driving again with someone in the car with me in case I lost my nerve. It took me months to get fully back to driving but now I am still anxious in deer country but am fully driving. As they say you have to get back on the horse as soon as possible.
No one was seriously injured and as you say you were going fairly slowly. The person behind is much more at fault than you are.
I agree that people should stop driving if they feel due to eyesight or illness that they are not competent to drive but there is no reason you cannot get back to driving.
Get back on that horse!!!!

I caused an accident back in 2013, partly through inattention, and partly through being unfamiliar with the road layout. These things happen.

Your post just reads like someone who has had a shock. You've had something bad happen, and your brain needs time to process it. What you're feeling now is all normal and to be expected. Of course, it shouldn't have happened, you should have taken more care, but you're human and we make mistakes. There's no point beating yourself up about it. And now you'll aways take more care in those kinds of conditions.

That’s a very extreme reaction to a very minor incident! And yes, the driver behind you is responsible for her own actions, that’s nothing to do with you. No one died, some metal got dented. It happens everywhere every day, and it’s upsetting, but not a reason to give up altogether

You've had a very minor accident. then you've ben really unfortunate and had a pretty major accident two seconds later! One was your fault, one wasn't. You might never have another accident, but if you don't drive again you are going to miss out all the advantages that passing the test and being able to drive has given you.

You absolutely must drive again as soon as possible - you won't have another accident when you do, you just won't, and you'll feel much better about it all.

Hi there,
I did exactly the same thing aged 19 (20+ years ago). Ended up with a police caution for driving without due care and attention.
It shook me up at the time and the sounds of skidding vehicles freaked me out for about a year after (fairly common where I lived at the time)

But absolutely drive again. You'll learn from this and be more careful going forward (touch wood, not caused any accidents since)

The person who drove into the back of you - that's their own fault, not your problem.

And WRT to guilty feelings and driving again - I had friends in the car and absolutely had the guilty feelings you talk about - I could have killed them etc etc..

However, you'll have learnt a hell of a lot from your experience and be a better driver as a result.

You need to do what we tell kids when they fall off their bikes - get back on immediately and get on with it! The longer you leave it the harder it will be.

The driver behind you was responsible for her own injuries.

Accidents happen, be kind to yourself.

Do it as soon as possible OP. Don't let this become a fear, your children will need you to drive them and jn a way it's selfish to let your fear change their lifestyle.

I think you should book in for a few lessons now, not because you are not a good driver but because maybe you could improve and more importantly to gain confidence.