I am a middle manager in a large corporate going through a loft changes over last 2 years, the role suits me, the company is no better or worse than others, not looking to move for many reasons. But I am struggling with my reactions and anxiety in every day interactions with people. I know it’s work because once the memories of the last week subside on weekends and holidays, I do not have the same knot in my chest and racing throughts and shaky hands.
Being a middle manager, the pressure and sometimes difficult to relay decisions come down from the top, I absorb some of it and pass on down the line. The pressure and “feedback” bounces back at me. I get to hear how they are all hard done by, the company is irrational and management do not have a clue. The days of compliant, obedient workers are long gone. Sometimes I pacify them, sometimes I pull them up on what they are saying. My manager does not want any escalations ever, so all is always down to me to resolve and I accept that’s the job. And on top of these things, there is everything else - targets, deadlines, meetings, interviews, reports etc. I struggle to concentrate and be efficient when stressed after a previous call.q
There are so many good days happen in my day - a cup of coffee, a nice lunch, a chat with a friendly colleague but I dwell em excessively on bad things that happened, into the evening. I have a full life outside of work but still can’t get this bitter feeling, almost like I have been criticised, out my chest and head.
What I would like to be is stone cold to any emotional conversations, shut my laptop at 5 and forget about it, another day another dollar. Are there any techniques I can learn to become more resilient?