Why have some older people not adopted Internet?

[SparklyNewMe]

My parents have embraced it naturally somehow, and DM is very active on SM.
PIL have not - similar ages but always scoffed at it as if it was devil’s work. No smartphones. Both were switched on and active in olde age. MIL is on her own now, dependent on DH and BIL for all admin, and simpler things she deals with on her own like finding opening times are harder. But it was 100% choice, not inability, to adopt it, as MIL went to college in her 60s to learn Microsoft Office and has been using Word and Excel for her hobby. But email or internet - dismissed completely.

Indeed. People can't carry on living in an analogue World when everyone and everything else is digital.

It WILL get harder and harder for people who aren't interested or capable of moving with the times.

The ship has sailed for the very old people, who have no choice but get help from friends and family (as they would if they had a stroke or suffered dementia as they'd struggle doing things on paper too!). But for younger, middle aged and younger retirees, they really do need to grasp the nettle, whilst they're able to, if they havn't already done so, because less and less will be paper based or face to face and more and more will be internet based. They're the ones who WILL suffer when they fall behind too far to catch up, and they find the World has moved on without them.

Unfortunately, a significant minority of perfectly able people simply don't want to move with the times for whatever reason. Like the outcry when cheques started to be withdrawn - most of them have managed perfectly fine with alternatives when they have to, but as others have said, a lot of it is fear of the unknown etc, which is why making numerous smaller/incremental changes over a long period of time is far better than burying your head in the sand and then finding the "gap" between where you are and where you need to be is just too big to bridge.

It's like learning to drive - far easier when you're 17 than when you're 47. Having a child is easier/better in your mid 20's than when you're 40.

Even at school, even "plodders" can get a broad range of top grades at GCSE and A level just by consistently attending, consistently doing their homework/revision, consistently paying attention in class etc. Once you start to fall behind in any way, it's twice as hard to catch up because topics lead onto others, levels of complexity get harder as each year pass.

And what happens when you can no longer use computers or smartphones?

The thing that gets me about people around me, who have grown up with the Internet, who are so tech savvy that they can operate just about any device intuitively, is how little they do know sometimes.
Talk about something in the news and they have a couple of soundbites.
Tibetan earthquakes... "where exactly is Tibet?"... you are literally on your phone NOW ... look it up...20 seconds, only just longer than it takes to ask where Tibet is...

I find it frustrating talking about a lot of things. "I don't understand why <insert anything from Trump to Palestine>?" LOOK IT UP.

"What is 27% of 952?" Use your phone...

"When does the post office close?" Aaaaarrgghhhhhh...

Just because people think they are au fait (up-to-date and well-acquainted with something - looked it up 🙂 ) with the Internet, does not mean they actually use it in any meaningful way.

Tbf, there’s a lot of the younger generation don’t engage with technology either.

they see it as “too complicated”, or dyslexia etc means they simply cannot access it, or they don’t have the money for a home laptop or even a smartphone.

youngsters use phones as communication devices- Snapchat, insta, TikTok. Word for schoolwork. Beyond that many don’t have “computer skills”. If they don’t go on to uni they don’t get any further than that.

neither of my teenagers can be arsed with email. One has put her account on my phone for me to deal with anything important!

in my line of work it’s not just old people. Mention IP addresses to any age bracket and eyes glaze over. Try and teach them how to use databases and it’s a lot of work to convince them it’s not as hard as it appears, do it a few times and it’ll make sense.

I’m 57, the high school I attended did have a handful of computers. Only students who were in the top set of maths were able to take computer classes.
Up to the age of 41, I worked in an area that didn’t require computer skills. Many people really didn’t need to use the internet for many many years.

My dad and step mum had slowly got into using a laptop and would use it for checking bank accounts, looking at holidays, finding out information etc.
When they diagnosed with dementia a year apart they unfortunately both very quickly lost the ability to continue using the laptop or mobile phones. It was awful having to constantly tell them that no they weren’t stupid because they couldn’t remember passwords.

DM just couldn’t get the hang of using the internet or a smartphone, struggled with a kindle when her original one with the buttons at the side and keypad broke, she wasn’t stubborn, did try but just couldn’t do it, in laws the same, yes others had to do stuff for her as a result but so what

DM in her 80s has no idea how to use a mobile phone, laptop or the internet. She lets her husband sort everything. He's never bothered to show her how to get online and refuses to pay for any extra TV channels, so overall her world is very small.

I think it's sad that she's so incapable of doing the simplest of things, such as taxing a car or buying something online. It's also a huge worry if her husband dies first. She has absolutely no idea how to deal with life admin.

She's not incapable. She doesn't do it. They are different things.

Ha I'm 36 and I can see the truth in this.

I'd love to know how they're avoiding it though tbh. I've always had a few digital detoxes per year where I completely turn my phone off for at least a fortnight (my record was 6 weeks) and have a break from it as I can be guilty of losing hours to mindlessly scrolling and it's good for me to have a reset. I'd turn my computer off too if I didn't need it for work. However it becomes notably more difficult every year. This year I didn't manage it at all. I turned off data 99% of the time but kept the phone with me. Several things I do at work require OTP's to be sent to my phone, things like paying for childcare or online shopping they need to send me a code. Then there's shopping. I used to be fine going into actual physical shops to get the stuff I needed but having spent about 3 hours trawling around shoe shops looking for school shoes for DS and finding none in his size it's just not convenient. Several other examples the same. Can't access menus in restaurants, can't even order in some places. Feels like everything is linked to a device now.

I usually prioritise human interaction over using a search engine if the option is available.

MIL is 86 and has never used a smartphone or computer and is totally dependent on DH and SIL for her life admin - despite having been single since the early 70s (so never had a partner to help sort things). She also struggled at first to use her alarm pendant and hearing aids. Yet in her youth in the 50s she tells us she was a skilled comptometer operator (an early form of complex calculating machine). She totally switches off if anything is deemed to be 'technical'. I also have an elderly distant relative (early 90s) who refuses to even have a telephone installed. She relies on neighbours to sort things for her.

Actually, I think the idea that people HAVE to learn to use the internet for stuff you didn't need the internet for is unreasonable. Private shops - fine if they want to switch to online only though its a shame its led to the death of the high street. But public services, or essential utilities like gas/electricity should not be online only,

I think they rarely are online only (my mum manages with phoning up the bank, setting up direct debits etc). But clearly, if fewer people are phoning in to book a boiler service or query a bill, because they are going online, then the organisation will employ fewer call staff and Mum will sit on the phone for an hour to the bank to make a payment that would have taken her seconds online.

After years of not doing it, they amount to the same thing, for reasons described elsewhere in the thread.

Indeed. It boggles my mind how many youngsters would prefer to have endeless text/email discussion at great inconvenience when it would be so much easier just to talk to the person on the phone and how reluctant many of them seem to be if I suggest they "just pick up the phone and talk to the duty sergeant rather than hoping they read your email"

The same that happens when the elderly or disabled aren't capable of managing their own finances on paper etc. They get someone else to do it for them.

Except for more and more people, there will not be anyone.
I am not talking about people in cognitive decline. Simply people without the fine motor control necessary

I'm 57.
No computers at primary
1 computer at secondary (grammar school) - used it for about 4 weeks. We had to write a program to draw a strawberry. Useful.

When I started my degree in '86, no one had a word processor or a computer. We did some statistics modules and some specialist data processing stuff. All of which required a specific program so were taught to use that only. We had one computer room. I could only do my assignments if there was a computer available that someone had left switched on - no one taught us how to switch it on or how to 'load' the program needed.

When I started work in 1990 in local government, we still dictated letters, reports etc for typists to type up. There were 3 terminals in our office for the admin staff to register the applications we were dealing with on the Council mainframe. We had a terminal in our area to search up applications, but did no more than that.

It wasn't until about 1992 that we started using individual PCs to use word to write up our own reports. By 1999 we were using email, and had very limited access to the internet - IT locked down most of it!

We got our own family PC in about 1998, but the dial-up internet was a rel pain, and there didn't seem any real need to have the internet at that point, so I can easily see why people didn't continue with it. I had my first mobile phone in 2001, my first smart phone in about 2012, and that was only because the DCs schools were using WhatsApp etc.. The family has never owned a games console. I've never used one.

I know what I need to know, but do get frustrated when things update and no longer work in the same way. I have to start again. I don't know enough to know whether when things don't work whether it's because there has been a change, whether it's just technology, or whether I have done something wrong - I usually blame myself. I have learnt the turn it off and try again approach, which my Mum (87) just can't accept.

Also got to remember that up until the 70s, most people didn't have a phone so every town had banks with counters, post offices, gas/electricity offices, town halls to pay rates etc., insurance offices, etc., so people could physically attend to sort things out in person and pay in cash.

There was quite a revolution in the 70s/80s/90s when sorting things out by phone took off in a big way. And yes, lots of people back then were miffed when the local offices were closed down and they had to travel to a different town or start dealing by telephone to pay their electric bill or renew their home insurance.

It's just evolution. Things have always changed over time and they always will.

My father was over 80 when smart phones took off, he'd been retired for about 20 years at that point. He probably had used a computer in his job. He was fine with a regular mobile phone and landline. I think if he'd been a bit younger he would have had a go with the internet. My mother was blind for the last 20 years of her life. She was pretty good at getting out and about with his help.

As far as life admin is concerned, they didn't need the internet or a smart phone. All bills direct debit or pay by phone, all paper billing. Actually, it was so much easier sorting out his estate with the meticulously organised paperwork he had. Their last holidays on their own together abroad were before my mother lost her sight. They organised UK hols to familiar hotels themselves. Blind and partially sighted people of a certain age like the familiar. They were out and about most days, regulars at the coffee shops and my father drove until after my mother passed away.

I did help with internet shopping and we'd go to the supermarket together. He would also go to the local shops and on the bus to town. There were a few things I occasionally helped with that required the internet. BT, when their landline went down were difficult to get hold of by him ringing on the mobile. I didn't think they were a lot more responsive via my smartphone/laptop, d see I that's more BT.

Dad definitely wasn't a technophobe but it didn't ever seem to be necessary for him to use the internet. I did not ever feel I was doing much for him because of the lack of a laptop or smartphone.

My parents struggled to adopt it.

My dad is no longer with us, dying in 2017. And despite being a whizz on computers, he'd never used a cash machine, and had never owned or used a mobile phone. He seemed to take great pride in it!

My mum begudgingly got a mobile phone after he died, but only because my sister and I insisted. She got a very old, non-internet, model of lord knows what brand.

Well, she finally caved and got a smart phone last year, and LOVES it. She loves all the apps for things like identifying plants, and mapping the walks she takes. Only yesterday she was raving about the fact it records on a map where photos were taken, so she could remember what shop she'd taken some photos of some tiles for a new bathroom in.
Honestly, I think she a little bit regrets not getting one sooner.

As for my paternal grandpa, he died in 2006 at age 84, and we always said it was sad that he'd never got onto the internet. He was a highly intelligent man, a man with 2 doctorates, really intellectual with loads of academic-related interests. He'd have LOVED the internet.

Things are getting slightly better for us oldies... can't believe my kids use the crappy "keyboard" on the remote control for the streaming service search... just speak to it.

For some reason "young folks" (just pushing back ageism wise, and shamelessly stereotyping) like to text and email, but not to actually talk... not even to a device that is there to help. Though Alexa may be helping there... maybe not.

I am using the Internet by voice a lot more nowadays, eyesight failing and thumbs getting bigger.

exactly.

It's like driving. Fine if you don't want to drive for whatever reason, but then it's your responsibility to use public transport, or get a taxi, or live somewhere with sufficient conveniences within walking distance. Not fine to expect someone to drive you everywhere at the cost of their time and money.

You and my kids! They call me to ask the most rogue questions. “No, I don’t know how far we are from Jupiter off the top of my head, I could google it and tell you, or you could just you know, look for yourself”. It’s incessant!

As I’ve said previously, my DM doesn’t use the Internet but she doesn’t expect people to do it for her, she manages to use different methods. It might seem more difficult to us, but for them it is genuinely easier to do it the old way - easier than learning to use tech from scratch.