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Help with a diplomatically worded email....

3 replies

AlwaysRight1985 · 07/01/2025 19:51

Posting in here for traffic...

I work in the NHS and am currently on a career development programme which requires me to be matched with a mentor. I've found out today who I will be paired with, and I'm not sure it's the right decision.

I have ASD but it impacts me minimally at work, and I'm very much of the type not to publicise it. My mentor (a couple of bands higher than me, but in a profession with very clearly defined career progression) is also autistic but is very vocal and active about the fact, including writing a book which collates the experiences of neurodiverse staff in our Trust. I'll be honest I used to attend the ND support group but I stopped going as I just felt it was full of people expecting unrealistic 'reasonable' adjustments (e.g. a doctor who refused to see patients and just wanted to do research/audit, etc).

I'm guessing we were matched due to us both being autistic, but I honestly feel like I would progress better with someone neurotypical who can see things from a different perspective and challenge me to overcome my difficulties.

I'm well within my rights to ask to change mentor but I'm honestly not sure how I can word the email - it will go to our Organisational Development team, but the mentor is aware that we had been matched.

Any advice?!

OP posts:
roses2 · 07/01/2025 19:53

Ask chatgpt, change some of the details in the question you ask so its not outing eg change NHS to cake shop,. I often used it to help me write work summary emails. It's brilliant!

MuggleMe · 07/01/2025 22:29

Could you say that you know the mentor you've been assigned has a similar view point to you and you're seeking someone who might challenge your perspective and give insight into how neurotypical people might think?

Rictasmorticia · 07/01/2025 22:42

I think the simple way you have expressed it here seems fine. Thank them for organising the mentor. “I feel that I really want to stretch myself to my full potential in this role. I wonder if, as I am autistic, if it would be possible to be matched with a mentor who is neurotypical” I don’t think you need more except to say you will be happy to discuss it further if required.

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