Unhappy at school

[Ayechinnyreckon]

DS9 is really unhappy at school.

He moved schools in September. He moved from a small private school to a small local state primary. He's year 4. His younger sibling also moved schools at the same time and is coping really well.

We loved the new school on paper and when we went to look around - it's small, really nurturing and all round lovely. However DS is not settling. He's not a "boys boy" and is really struggling to settle in to a class of sporty, football loving boys. He'd happily play with the girls, but there's only 4 in his class and they're very much in a 'eww boys' stage.

He's just miserable and I don't know what to do. I feel so bad that we had to move them anyway, though we're really happy with the school we chose and the kids don't know our true feelings on the situation (which are very mixed anyway).

Any advice or suggestions really welcome.

Sorry to read this. Do the school know? Are there any lunchtime clubs he can do? DD's (state primary) school has all sorts at lunchtime including music, gardening, cricket. Is there another sport he likes? My Ds hates football but likes another sport and he managed to get half the class doing that by Y6. Some schools have buddy systems where Y6 girls (it's always the girls who volunteer in my experience) befriend children who are struggling in the playground. You could ask about this even if they don't currently do it

Because of his age I think I'd try stick it out and work with the school ( push on them to help support him socially). It is a well being issue after all.

It can take time for some to feel accepted and settled. I'd look at everything he might enjoy in terms of clubs in school. I'd see if there's anyone he might want to have play dates with. I'd check he's doing ok with the academic side and is he fully supported in that.

If it's a small school, could he make friends & play with children in the other years?

Thanks. We'll look at in school clubs and potential play dates.

He's doing well academically and behaviourally in school but does mask a lot in school and let's it out at home.

We're committed to keeping him at the school (particularly as it's the only local school with availability in his year) but also because we agree with the ethos of the school. And there isn't really another option so having ideas of how to make this school the best experience it can be is really helpful

Financial. Otherwise we wouldn't have moved them, they were really happy at the old school.

He's not really made any connections, but I'll ask him who he'd like for a playdate and see what we can do.

He does play across years at play time but not with any particular group, just seems to flit around to who will include him or plays alone on the equipment.

He's got lots of friends outside of school and does other clubs and activities etc but I think when you spend 6 hours a day somewhere for 39 weeks of the year, it's important to at least be comfortable there!

No, he does clubs puts of school, but none of his school go to them.

We've on the waiting list for beavers and cubs for years, it's so long they've closed the waiting list now!

He doesn't really know how to play football and doesn't want to. He didn't play any team sport outside of P.E at his old school, they had a football club he attended for half a term before he declared he hated it. He does judo, swimming and gymnastics outside of school and some other stuff more ad-hoc.

Yes, I'll see what they have on. The only one I've had an email about is football typically!