How do you get around opposing opinions?

[Libra19752]

We (DH and I plus 2 DC) in our house for 7 years, we are very lucky it's a nice house, in a nice location with a nice garden.

However the kitchen cabinets are doing my head in. They take up a tremendous amount of space for the storage they offer, they are painted wood which keeps flaking and have that inset lip on the door which is permanently dusty.

I would like (love) to take off the cupboards and put up shelving to make it more open, be able to store more (and also as a bonus so I can see clearly what we have as I have ADHD and severe lack of memory).

DH has said no. Flat no, no discussion. I think he feels his no, overrides my yes.

At what point do I get to say, actually my opinion counts for something as well as it's OUR house.

Compromise where you can imo. I'd hate the flaking cupboard doors, but I think having shelving instead of cupboards in a kitchen would look weird and messy. Why not replace the cupboard doors (or at least most of them and just add a little bit of shelving?

Have to agree with this

You don't want open shelves unless you constantly want to clean everything. It gets covered in dust and grease.

You can get replacement doors.

Can you show your husband some Instagram type pictures that demonstrate your concept?

I wouldn't be sure about open shelves either to be honest - unless you have perfect sets of crockery and matching storage jars it does sound messy to me.

If you are the main cook/cleaner of the kitchen then you could say to your husband - look you don't love my idea but I'm the one mostly using the kitchen and this is what I would like so can we prioritise me. If your husband is the main cook and cleaner of the kitchen then this works the other way around and he should have the main say.

The other consideration is money - if you have little savings or debt then dust catching kitchen cupboards aren't really a big deal.

If you need a new kitchen look at lots of pictures online together and I'm sure that you can reach a compromise.

Find out what he's against - is it change full stop, or is it the open shelves? I'm not keen on open shelves, but could something like Glas fronted cabinets be an option?

I think the same. Open shelves will attract dust, which will be greasy from cooking and will need such regular cleaning it’ll drive you mad. All of those type of things look great in magazines, but they’re a pain to keep up.

Get to the root of his flat ‘no’ and see if there is somewhere you can meet in the middle - what is the foundation of his objection? Cost? Aesthetic? What?

No one gets to override anyone else in a partnership, but there is usually a compromise on either side which can be made to then meet in the middle.

As others have said, you will be doing A LOT more cleaning with open shelves as opposed to closed cupboards, an inset lip will be the least of your worries.

How about modern glass fronted units as suggested by @Germanjio

If your cupboard units are in good condition there are companies that will replace the doors rather than the whole kitchen.

Edit to say - these examples all show lovely matching glassware - you have got to imagine what it will look like full of the usual groceries. Could still be messy?