Smartphone addiction, need to stop

[BadgersGalore]

I've wasted another day pissing around on my phone when I should be exercising, reading a book, doing housework etc. Instead I've read threads on here that have absolutely no relevance to my life, been researching and buying things on Amazon, and read several Wikipedia articles about Queen Victoria and her distant bastard relations, I mean what the fuck. Such a stupid stupid waste of time and I feel so idiotic for not having the self control to just leave my phone alone and get on with stuff!

I downloaded an app once for blocking websites but found it complicated and couldn't find a way to just allow Google for instance so I deleted it. Tbh I probably got distracted by other things on my phone and didn't concentrate on how to use it.

Please tell me what's worked for you, preferably really simple things. I can't keep wasting my life like this and I hate feeling such a failure when I've done the same thing again another day

Same.

I intermittently download and delete tiktok.

Every week my phone report says I've spent 1 hour more on my phone. I'm on it 24/7

Completely addicted :(

It's not easy, the moment techbros put smartphones in our hands, a lot of us were fucked. I actually lost my phone this week, and I'm using a very old one and I can't access a lot of my stuff until a replacement SIM arrives so I can at least get my airtime back. It's meant I can't access a lot of stuff unless I use my laptop with things already logged in.

It's been refreshing but I'm going through the anxiety of worrying about not being able to reach people etc.

I can't really recommend anything to make it easier cos so many of us are in the same boat. Solidarity OP. 🌺

I've considered getting a £30 Nokia from argos but how will I listen to my music? Check my bank, check email, pay bills etc

Plus I have all my appointments and stuff in my smartphone calender with alarms.

And I'd have to constantly swap sims etc

Though I am still considering it.

Maybe allow myself my smartphone 6-8pm?

Forgot to add

Three books I've read recently that I found helpful with regard to screen time:

The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

Unlocked: The Real Science of Screen Time by Pete Etchells

Friction by Joan Westenberg.

Delete all the apps you waste time on
Don't even let your phone in your bedroom so you can't waste time on it before bed. Get an alarm clock instead if you need to use it for that

Put a app time limit on. Turn the colour off on your phone screen. start making boundaries of when you use it and that you must have a certain intent for it. Can lock it away at times you're most likely to reach for it.

I'd also suggest reading dopamine nation or listen to Stephen barlett podcast with Dr Anna lembke (lots of others helpful podcasts too) to understand the dopamine effect.

Being aware is the first step so well done. Now you need to get really honest with yourself and start to unpick why you're doing this and your triggers. Do you feeling uncomfortable, anxious, looking for connection? Etc

One thing which has helped me cut down on my screen time is to remove all the apps from my home screen and to deactivate them from being a "suggested app". I do still have the apps which notify me if someone has sent me a message because Facebook etc is how I communicate with some family members but they're not there on my screen to click on. It's really helped me stay off social media. I think I may have to do it with MN too because I'm spending too much time on here lately.

Following with interest. I feel the same but I’m too embarrassed to say it out loud so I’m grateful for your honesty OP.

Following. I feel so embarrassed to spend so much time on my phone when I’m telling my 10yo she won’t be getting a smartphone for a fair few years yet. Though tbf I am also honest with her about how I find it addictive and also how the apps make it more addictive and so easy to keep scrolling. And I did break my 500 day Duolingo streak to show her how hard it was to do!
I have set a time limit on FB, though often break it. I have never downloaded TikTok as I know it would be awful for me. Spend too much time on stupid 3 in a row games. I try to find other things to do in the little chunks of time I get between doing stuff for the 3 kids etc but the phone is so easy to pick up and put down.

Some good suggestions already thank you, I'm listening and you're making sense I know. It's just bloody hard!

I just want access to Google (could actually do without this and make notes of things to search later), texts, WhatsApp, email, podcasts, music and audiobooks. Saying that it's pathetic how reliant on tech I am! What would my grandparents think of me, they wouldn't understand at all

Solidarity to my fellow addicts

I think I just got sick of that feeling of having wasted so long, again, over and over. I did some of the things other people have mentioned. I have sometimes set a timer for fifteen minutes and then I can scroll on MN for that long. I won't switch the timer off until I've closed the app and stood up.

I also have a stash of puzzles I enjoy and a couple of books and magazines by my chair, so these days I know I feel better if I reach for one of those instead.

And don't be too hard on yourself. It's just that the phone does a lot. I bet your grandparents listened to music, looked forward to letters from friends and family, enjoyed looking through photo albums, read the newspaper...

It's really weird that you posted this today as yesterday I think it came to a head in my mind when I was sat on my bed doing fuck all on my phone and my 16yo came into talk to me and I realised that even though I put my phone down I was glancing at it and absolutely itching to pick it back up and found myself almost irritated at her for interrupting me even though it was mindless scrolling.

That's very sad and embarrassing :(

Me too! Let's beat this thing 🙌

I feel like this too... wasting my life doom scrolling knowing it does nothing good for my mental or physical health, is damaging my relationships and probably my work / career too. I am angry with myself that I'm so addicted to the little dopamine hits. I'm more addicted than I was to smoking.

I have tried the Freedom App but quickly learned how to get around it. Considering hypnotherapy to try and break the habit.

I’ve been addicted for years and have never managed to cut down for any length of time. The number of hours I spend each day on it is frankly embarrassing. And I’ve tried the many apps, screen time limits etc but they’re all too easy to ignore or work around!

To the PP who suggested leaving their phone elsewhere and using an alarm clock: I even use my phone for podcasts to distract me if I wake up at night, to help me fall asleep again. When I’ve tried to leave my phone elsewhere, I’ve just wound up gazing at the ceiling, running through every tiny anxiety that pops into my head.

@BabCNesbitt I was embarrassed to say before but I can't leave my phone out of the bedroom because I have podcasts playing all night long. I can't sleep without them. On the odd occasion that I haven't been able to listen because of lack of internet (I now keep plenty of episodes downloaded!) I felt horrible and panicky. I don't like to be alone with my thoughts too much.

I had to have an MRI recently and I was absolutely fine about it until I was on the table and they told me it would take 45 minutes and I not only wouldn't be able to go on my phone (which I knew, obviously) but not even listen to it through headphones as I had expected! I actually said I wouldn't be able to do it and started to panic. I did it in the end and it was fine but I was very close to walking out. I felt really embarrassed afterwards and apologised, how pathetic fgs.

I also need to listen to podcasts at night. I've been able to leave my phone out of the room by buying a smart speaker - you can use the voice commands ask for podcasts by name or start them off on your phone but play them through the speaker and then leave your phone in another room. I also have a routine set for it to play a podcast when I wake up.

I find it helps in the day too as I can connect headphones to the speaker and turn my phone off.

Or you could just use a portable Bluetooth speaker and play through that.

The trouble with them is that I pick it up to order my child's school meals. There will be a notification of a WhatsApp, a Facebook message, an email, a news alert etc and then by the time I've dealt with them I've forgotten the school meals!

I have switched off push notifications as much as possible, unsubscribed from emails, don't have noise alerts etc. Or I pick it up and deal with the main reason and put it down out the way.

I tell myself I can watch five more tiktoks and then after, hit pause, and do a 'thing' which needs doing (shower, get dressed, eat, clean teeth, whatever). I do the 'thing' and give myself watching up to the second ad break of a binge box set, say. Then I put on the washing machine, empty the dishwasher, what have you.

If I have a thing that I HAVE to know about (today was when Heinz stopped making Toast Toppers), then I do a task and reward myself with X amount of googling.

That's how I get through my day. In chunks. A job/thing and then a reward. No more than about 15 mins unless I'm hyper focussed on doing something productive instead of looking up Toast Toppers!

Break the day up into very small sections to make it manageable.

Oh and I'm a podcast listener all night. And an MRI freaked out person who screamed to be let out and then sobbed on the floor 😆

I use an app called Refocus which blocks my phone for a set period of time (e.g. 9.30pm - 6am). I can choose which apps are left available. There are different levels of strictness (I had to pay about £50 for a year's subscription but well worth it for me).

I have a look every night at the amount of hours I’ve spent on my phone during the day. I swear at myself and feel disappointed and vow to get better at this and then nothing changes. I’ve got so much I need to get done around the house and yet here I am again on social media. I wonder how many people actually feel like this? Why is it so addictive?

I use an app called unpluq that works really well for me for apps - not so good for websites.

I find that I get more done if I use my phone as a reward so, eg I can have 20 mins on Reddit after I've ticked 5 things off my to do list.

I also have it in black and white after 8pm which makes everything more boring.

I tried cold turkey from my phone but everything is on there, shopping lists and cleaning schedules, meditation and anxiety support, and emails from school etc that it's just not practical. It's a part of my life and I enjoy it, but it's not all of my life.

This is very useful to know! Thanks for sharing.

I deal with this problem by first not being too perfectionist about it because in pre-phone days we all regularly read books, listened to the radio, telephoned friends, researched interesting topics in the library, cut out magazine articles or recipes from magazines, used a calculator, used a tape measure, a pedometer, a watch, an alarm clock, a calculator, a torch, and a camera. Those activities took time out of our day. The only difference nowadays is that we do all of those things on one device!

Second, I find a "school timetable" helpful where you pin down what you are doing when, and incorporate large blocks of time when you don't use a phone eg Tues, Thurs, Fri mornings and, Sat and Sun afternoons or whatever, or, restrict phone use to half an hour every morning and evening or whatever. But be clear about it and pencil it all in. You will get used to the routine and your mind and body get good at what you do repeatedly.