Is my sons shyness my fault?

[Goooob]

DS just turned 3. Very shy since just before 2. Meltdowns at certain places with unfamiliar people but is getting loads more comfortable and going to different places a b it more easier) and me and DH are always there for him for comort

we had his younger sister just as he turned 2 so a big life event for him

my mum gets offended (why I ask all the bloody time) when he’s shy at hers/with her. I explain it’s what he’s like he takes time to warm etc

hes quite sensitive and gets overwhelmed easily

she says before “oh it’s only since he’s been about 1 and a half onwards he was like that” in a bit of blame like tone. She makes digs frequently so I’m a bit sensitive about it myself

i I try to help his confidence loads. When he’s not in nursery we go to rhyme time at the library, the park, play centres etc we’re always out and he sees many other peOple

hes not sheltered in the slightest I always help him try to build his confidence to his limit though. I won’t push or force him

am I at fault that he went quite shy and sensitive ? He wasn’t loads as a baby but again before 1 and a half - no one is like they were at that age ???

Nope, not your fault. Lots of young children are like that. Your DM is being unfair, particularly by getting offended and taking a 3 year old’s quietness personally. It sounds like you are doing your best to help him too.

18 months is the age they start to develop shyness - it would be pretty weird if he’d been a shy newborn!

Mine was slow to warm up at that age - he did warm up though, and is very happy in primary school (aged 8) with a big circle of friends and lots of hobbies. He still doesn’t put himself forward for speaking roles in school plays etc, but honestly lots of kids don’t like being on stage so I don’t think that’s a particular problem.

Incidentally my step MIL spent all of one meal commenting on how shy DS was when he was about 4, and the next time we met her she spent the whole meal complaining he was too noisy. So sometimes you just need to ignore other people’s comments.

My son has just turned 2 and the shyness has kicked in quite suddenly - we've had no big changes recently. It's nothing you've done OP x

Thanks she even said once “it started around he time DD was born” but like ?? She isn’t to blame either. Surely it’s normal for some kids to be shy - little sibling or not!

He's 3 years old..........