I remember in the summer of 2020, one of my aunts, (one of my mother's sisters) came to visit. She's one of my favourite aunts and I like her. She and her husband came into our home and my mam made tea and they all chatted and it looked like they all had a great afternoon chatting.
When my aunt and uncle left, my mother broke out in anger to me about her sister:
"Who the fuck does she think she is coming out here in the middle of a pandemic flaunting her size 8 jeans".
At the time case numbers were low and she used a guess that chances of us being sick were slim. She's not a size 8 and she wasn't flaunting anything. My mother is not fat to be envious of someone who is a size 8 by the way.
Thinking back onto that, and my strong suspicions of today where I am suspecting behaviour dementia-FTD - I now think that was part of what I see today and I suspect that was 'showtime' and when my aunt and uncle left my mother's mind turned to mush.
In the years since then their relationship has just deteriorated. Nothing bad happened between them. There's no effort out in from either side. From my mother's side I strongly think it's part of my dementia suspicions.
I remember nearly 18 months ago, my aunt became a grandmother and I got a message from her. I shared the information to my mother. My mother only became enraged with the news. She was very angry. She wasn't never able to come at it from a place of wishing them well and good. It was all one of anger and even calling her nephew who just became a dad a stuck up little dickhead. She told me a tale how he came and drive his mother here one day and he sat in the corner and never spoke. I can't remember any such incident. He also lives abroad and I really can't remember any such incident. Maybe it did happen, I don't know.
The anger was unreal.
It was completely uncalled for and nasty too.
There's very little effort from either one of them to keep in touch and to have any sort of a meaningful relationship with each other. They haven't seen each other in two and a half years. There's messages but not even to each other. The messages are done through me. My aunt doesn't know what my suspicions are by the way. The messages are few and far between. Once a year for each others birthday. There wasn't even any Christmas wishes.
I'm so sick of being the go between. There's no excuse in the world for each other not to pick up the phone and call each other.
My partner works in a bar that is my aunt's local and he sees more of my aunt than I do. They chat and apparently she does asks/requires about me and my mother. Lately my partner had more news about my aunt and her family and she is due to become a granny again. Maybe that was only said in chatting.
I don't know if my aunt has a mission or a goal here. Does she want to share this information but done secondhand through my partner. Is my partner expected to be a messagener. Does she want this to be passed on as information.
So now I know this am I expected to pass this onto my mother. Her response is likely going to be one of anger so why would I share this.
When my aunt does become a grandmother again I would be lucky if I get a one liner from her on WhatsApp and I am sick of being some sort of a messagener to pass this onto my mother or something. I don't know what her aim is.