How long to wait for a bloke to reply?

[Namwchangeforaquestion]

After the breakdown of my marriage I decided to join Match. please don't judge me.

Got chatting to a bloke. After nice back and forth for a week or more and suggested meeting. He hasn't replied yet but how long do I give him?

(If we were to meet we would meet in public place etc safety and all that)

How long ago did you suggest meeting?

Only last night I won't message him obviously at this time but how long I leave it? We usually message first thing in the morning.

You are window shopping, keep moving around the shops and if the thing that caught your eye still appeals and is readily available to meet, circle back. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket and all that.

Expect he'll be in contact today!

Thanks @EmmaSmiff yeah I know you're right.

@CalicoPusscat I hope so.

I suggest you never wait for anyone to reply.

Last night as in afew hours ago or over 24 hours ago??

If he doesn’t reply within his usual timeframe just move on.

You’re doing the right thing to try to arrange to meet face to face early on. People can’t really know if they will click until they meet. However some people seem to want to message for weeks on end. That isn’t dating that’s having a pen pal.

Good luck. I hope it works out for you

Thanks he did reply but didn't answer the question only in a flirty way.

I know I'm worth way more than this ... just want some fun and laughter in my life

I used to find there were a lot of chatters on dating apps that were not all that motivated to meet up. That's kind of alright but also means nothing happens, and wastes your time if you actually want to meet. My favourite matches were those that wanted to meet rather than chit chat online. Then you know if they suit you or not and can move forward accordingly.

As to the part about being worried about being judged, that is a thing of the past. If anyone were to judge you now for online dating they would come across as archaic and out of date.

Good luck and have fun :)

Thanks for the kind message .

I just feel a bit deflated and down about myself. It's been a long time since I thought I was attractive I wish my life was a bit better than what it is.

one of the worst parts about dating is the whole up and down of it all. It’s exciting chatting to someone new and sometimes it goes somewhere and sometimes it doesn’t. When it doesn’t it can take a wee toll on your self esteem. I had a nice friend who would do his best to make me remember that whatever these guys were or weren’t doing it was no reflection on my self worth. Sometimes you don’t fancy someone despite them being attractive.

in regard to wishing your life was a bit better, you’re definitely not alone in wishing that. for the things within your control, tis’ the season for resolutions and all. I found myself pleasantly envious/inspired by another friend who’s starting a ceramics course this January. I have my own things to change for the better (and a big thing not within my control.)
But it sounds like you’re on to a great start. How scary to put yourself out there, make a profile and use a dating app, also how brave. These things are how lives get enriched, right? I’m prattling sorry. But I agree with a PP, have a few conversations with a few different potential dates at the same time. That helps to lessen the load on one coming to fruition.

Shiverm - thanks it's such a big thing to me.

am a tiny bit happy with myself coz I messaged said bloke and said that I liked messaging him but I wouldn't wait all day for a message back. He messaged apologising and has been more consistent since, I then basically said I don't want a pen pal and we need to see if this chemistry is there in real life.

we are currently sorting a date

I need to be more accretive with people.

Well done! This is definitely the right way to go. When my marriage ended and I had to enter the world of online dating for the first time I fell for every trick in the book. I was so naive, but I didn't know I was being naive!

There are so many time wasters out there. You need to find a healthy balance between remaining optimistic/positive and being a bit cynical/not putting up with crap.

When it gets too much, have a break from it and regroup.

Good luck 🤞