Burnout? Normal stress? Or do I need to get a grip?

[fourelementary]

Honestly don’t know whether I need to get a grip and (wo)man up or whether something is wrong… but prepared to hear what people think.

I am a nurse, and a mum in her forties with older kids of tween/teen years. I Have been qualified for only a few years and work in the community not a hospital. I love my job- I love my patients and usually my work too. BUT recent changes have unsettled me and as everyone in the UK knows the NHS is a bit of a disaster just now- for us this means not enough staff, patients at home who really should be cared for in hospital or care homes…
This means that at work I am having to do so many patient visits that paperwork and admin are falling behind, I feel like I don’t ever feel organised and am always trying to play catch up with myself. My mandatory training got cancelled due to low staffing and I worked every day over the Xmas period except the 25th- finally getting 4 days off from the 2nd of January. In my time off I have been stressing about going back, feel tearful a lot of the time and my health anxieties have gone overboard this past month.

I am dreading going back to work on Monday- and I don’t know if this is normal stress as I’m relatively new to the work of work (only worked part time and in a very different and not high stress role previously whilst having my children) and nursing.

I worry every day and overthink everything just now… and feel so torn as I want to love my job again but I just don’t right now.

No, that's not a normal level of new job stress, in any job. It sounds like you are making yourself ill and will absolutely burn out. Can you move to a different nursing type role?

Honestly don’t think there is a nursing role that wouldn’t face similar if not worse stresses atm. I love the patients so if I moved to a non patient-facing role I would be even less happy at work. We just have too many patients and not enough time. Maybe I need to try to speak to my boss/ charge nurse as there have also been issues there with the leadership (not her fault but now her issue) and carve out specific time to ensure I complete important admin stuff and feel less like I’m never catching up with myself. I would really like to reduce my hours a little but I know we are so short staffed that it wouldn’t be really an option.
Thank you for replying.

Anyone else? I honestly would like to get some insight. Maybe from other nurses? Or anyone really…

Not a nurse but that is how i felt a few months ago and was told by a therapist i was suffering from a mini burn out. Thankfully things have got a lot better. I felt sick before work every day and lost weight through feeling stressed.

I’m a psychologist that looks after nurses & medics.
It sounds like you need to reevaluate your workload with your line manager, prioritise looking after yourself in your time off, work out what it is that’s feeling too much & problem solve that, and also get some support for perhaps anxiety.
burnout is the stage bigger than being stressed. You feel apathy, disengaged & numb to the situation. You’ve gone passed being stressed (anxious, over commited, no boundaries). Don’t let yourself get burnt out. Good luck

How did things get better for you, if you don’t mind me asking? Im thinking of getting some parental leave off (as it will benefit my children if I don’t go full burnout, and this Leave is only available for another year or so and I’ve never used any) and then what? Trying to rearrange life a bit to ensure that I am more organised? Or doing something like yoga? Im just not sure how to stop work having a negative impact I guess… or to worry that time off will make everything worse at work as we will be even more short staffed so when I return my team will resent me and I will just spiral again as soon as busy etc. The system is fucked.

Thank you- that is helpful. I will email my boss now to request a meeting and maybe write down the bits from your message to make a plan… thank you

@Superstar22 I know it’s a ridiculous thing to have as a nurse- but have you any advice for overcoming emetophobia? Specifically sickness bugs as I don’t mind people being sick or dealing with vomit as long as they’re not contagious- but recently had to see patients in care homes just after the home had a norovirus outbreak and I was terrified every day and for days after.

That sounds too much. I think you need to speak to your boss or find another job in another practice.

AHP here. Been in the same position several times. Definitely sounds like burn out type. If managers are good let them know that you need an admin day to get on top of paperwork or plan your week to give you some protected time for admin. It's easier to do this through supervision if you have a good manager but other option is to go through occy health ect ( but I wouldn't do this as a first step if you have not been of sick with stress or poor mental health)
DO look and see what mental health support and counselling your trust offers though! Ours give you 6 sessions of counciling free a year. And I definitely use it / need it. So please see if there is a service like this to help
Other option is going to GP. When I first had burn out I went to Dr and broke down in tears, he asked me where I work and I said nhs and he wrote up prescription for antidepression tablets and it was like ' oh if you work for nhs you will need these' 😂 I know that's not how it's ment to be but I call them my anti nhs pills now. For years when it is a bit tough!
But the work place counseling has been the most helpful
Take care and it's OK to call in sick tomorrow with work stress

Also check your bloods. I’d been struggling at work for a while feeling burned out. I recently learned I have high blood pressure and extremely low iron. Got meds for these issues and feel far more able to deal with my work load than I have in ages.

I’m late 40s so dealing with peri hormones too! I have older teens at home.

I was told to take some time off which i didn't do (probably should of but i didn't want to be judged). I ended up going back on anti depressants which calmed my thoughts a lot and meant i was catastrophising about everything. I also did some therapy sessions which i got free through an industry charity.

Good advice there thank you @Sailawaygirl and @Tumbleweed101 i will see what support is available and access that and also ask for admin time/protected time.
I am not good at talking about things I struggle with so my colleagues probably all think I am calm and not bothered when really I am very stressed. So I also need to work on that…
And thank you too @popandchoc it is good to hear what helped other people.

I’m a nurse, mental health and definitely sounds like burnout to me.

I know you feel like other jobs will be just as stressful but that isn’t necessarily the case and it is worth looking.

I burnt out in my old job and it’s only having moved on that I realise how ludicrous my workload was. When I was in it I felt I had no choice but to keep going, my whole team depended on me and I felt trapped.

Leaving was the best and hardest thing I ever did but so worth it! I handed in my notice with nothing to go to but applied and got another job which is completely different to what I e done for the past 20+ years. It’s not stress free by any stretch but it is easier and I feel reenergised for nursing! Hopefully you can find something similar. I was definitely heading for a complete breakdown.

Thank you- I feel like I love the patient role and how person- centred we can be. It’s fitting that in with the admin expected of us and running ourselves ragged shoring up staff gaps all
over the locality that causes the issues… but I could look at other roles I guess. I will speak to my CN first though to see what changes we could try to implement first… and also look at my own coping mechanisms and self-care too.

I'm a nurse and recognise a lot of what you feel as do many many of us I'm sure. The NHS is really on a downward trajectory and it feels pretty hopeless at the moment. I've been a nurse for 25 years and working for the NHS is all I've ever known, it's never been as bad as it is now.
I had burnout during 2020 - the crazy demands on being redeployed to any ward that I was needed on, regardless of skillset, not knowing where I would be working every day I went to work was so stressful and dangerously low staffing levels was awful. I don't know how I kept going to be honest but my boss gave me two weeks off over Christmas which is probably what saved me from completely going under.
It sounds like you are burnt out OP - that's an incredible amount of stress to be under. You definitely need to speak to your line manager and tell them how you're feeling.

Hi, this sounds like what my sister went through. It was a while ago but because of all the stress and night shifts she decided to get a job in a private care home and has been much happier ever since, and still gets to use her nursing skills. I think nurses should be paid more than bankers tbh. It should be a profession people are queuing up to get into. But that's not going to happen any time soon. Prioritise your own health.

HCP .
Been exactly in your position several times. I'm lucky in my team I'm well supported but there are still times it feels overwhelming and impossible. Now and in past I've found it extremely helpful talking to the well-being team in my trust & have accessed therapy . It seems to be much more organised since Covid and I was offered something very quickly . It's important your manager knows how you are feeling . Often as nurses we feel we are failing if we admit we can't keep up with the workload or admin, but that way of thinking will only lead to poor mental health .

I’m a nurse and I get how you feel. It’s easy to stretch yourself too thin in nursing. It’s expected that you’ll do extra as well but you’ll never be thanked for it. Certainly all the gratitude during COVID clapping and banging of saucepans is long gone! Community is probably one of the most challenging areas because you can’t ‘borrow’ from other areas like you can (in theory) in a hospital.
I moved into a specialist role which means I got promoted and still have patient contact. It’s not without its issues (too many cooks booking in etc!) but I’m mostly Monday to Friday office hours. It’s definitely better than anywhere I’ve worked before. I still have nightmares that I’m back on the ward and I can’t leave! It’s not perfect but I’m much happier than I have been anywhere else.
In terms of the emetophobia, I know what you mean! I’m having some therapy soon and I’m hoping to tackle it there.

A friend of mine had EMDR successfully for emetophobia- can you access that through work ?