I recently decided to end a friendship. I’ve known this girl since primary school and I’m now in my 30s. The friendship has always been one sided, for example she knows I have children (she doesn’t have kids and still lives with her parents) yet she’d ring me at any hour because a guy she met on tinder ghosted her or whatever the dilemma is at the time. I’d sit talking to her etc of course. And she had a boyfriend of a few months which ended , so I went to his and got her stuff for her etc and invited her to stay with me. Basically I was there for her and listened to her no matter how big or small the situation was. Because that’s what friends do!
but when I was having a rough time with my husband and was considering divorce, worried about my kids etc she said “ah well you’ll be ok” before talking about herself and a guy she met at the weekend. She didn’t even care enough to let me vent or discuss it at all. Even though I’d done that for her for years!
you get the point right? , that’s obviously one example, there were many. And I realised we are on different paths, she’d moan at me for not wanting to go out drinking with her, but I have kids I can’t just drop everything.
Ya know?
it just wasn’t a friendship I wanted. I feel friendships should work both ways, and should feel happy! I didn’t feel happy around her anymore. And felt drained after spending time with her.
now I’m struggling with making friends. I thought maybe I should look for mum friends? As we’d mutually understand eachother and the kids could play etc.
I did join a WhatsApp group but nothing materialised from it.
it can get kind of lonely, seeing others going out for food with their friend groups, celebrating eachothers birthdays etc. and I have nobody to do adult things with. I adore my kids! We do a lot together, but of course we’re doing “kid” stuff, like taking them to the park , to soft play, to a child friendly restaurant etc etc. when I have “downtime” once a month when they sleep at grandmas, I end up watching tv and going to bed.
does anyone have any tips on making friends in your 30s?