My first husband left just before my daughter’s 21st (a couple of years ago) and while I adored him we’d become friends rather than lovers. He was a great Dad but I never felt I was getting the full story regarding money (he switched mortgage without telling me for example). He’d also go through periods where there was no sex but there’d be lots of porn on his computer. We’d grown up together and I went through a very rocky menopause. Anyway it was devastating when he left and he is now with the person I thought he was having an affair with. 🤪
My predicament is that I met this amazing guy soon afterwards- thought I wanted to have fun and have lots of lovers but met this older guy who has taken my breath away. He’s kind, funny, caring, adores me - he’s got kids of similar age (though they don’t live with him). He has a good job and a private business on the side which he’ll continue past retirement. He has no assets though. He handed everything over to his ex so his kid DS had a family home. I have taken on what is left of the mortgage on my family home and it will continue into my pensionable period. BIG QUESTION Should we move in/buy a house together - we so want to live together and my kids adore him - they’re in their twenties/late teens so about to go to university/go back to study for a Masters. He is completely domesticated and a great cook, lover and just a gem - but am I just storing up problems of him retiring first and me working for another 10 years at least?!?! I feel like I’ve fallen on my feet but am I being unrealistic?