My sister committed suicide last month, I live on the street over and there was a lot of drama surrounding her death and her partner which the whole town was playing Chinese whispers and back and forth. I feel like I can’t go out the door without someone staring at me, approaching me or just saying something about it. I don’t want to go out, I have three children and originally I was only staying at my mums as she’s unwell. She has a long term health condition which I am her carer, my plan was to stay here whilst she was undergoing some surgery before moving back private renting with my children out of town.
now this has happened my mum wants me to stay with her and not move back further out, she has a council home and she’s offered to swap - this could take years. I’ve said I now want to move even further away than planned as I only had my sister and mum here and why didn’t my mum just come with me. My brother is also living with my mum so she wouldn’t be totally alone. She’s asked me not to move far. Saying London is our home and I could always private rent somewhere here. Which I possibly could but it would be financially living week by week.
I feel trapped here, I can’t move as my mum is devastated at the loss of my sister. I can’t leave her too, but on the other hand I can’t bare the constant reminder of living in this town where I visited my sister every single day. My kids would have a better life further away, I would afford a nicer property, a fresh start.
sorry it’s more than a rant than anything else as I know I will most likely just stay here as my mum won’t move and I feel like I can’t leave her, I feel angry at my sister for ruining my plans of moving - selfish of me. But I’m just absolutely devastated at the loss.