Emotional regulation?

[Solasum]

I am on holiday with a family member who doesn’t seem to have any capacity for ‘putting up with’ minor annoyances. They go 0-60 in seconds, and are suddenly furious, there is no middle ground at all. They feel awful about it afterwards, and it is clearly exhausting for them and for others to be around.

Is there anything that can help an adult to learn emotional regulation? Therapy?

I'm also interested in this. I am dealing with a good friends husband who is like this. He didn't used to be and it does make me wonder if there is anything more serious going on due to his age.

Yep absolutely you can, but firstly you have to want to change. I could (can still sometimes) be quite emotionally reactive due to things I've experienced/learnt behaviours etc. I am working hard at addressing it in therapy, a large part of the work is understanding what sits behind it - so for your relative what is it that these small inconveniences are hitting that cause a big reaction, are there any commonalities, what may sit behind that. So for example for me, one of my areas I have to work on is being reactive when I perceive someone criticizing me (hyper critical father) - often it's not actually what has been said but the old hurt they hit. If you can start to do that you can start to develop strategies to help you. I have and continue to find counselling super helpful. Ultimately if you can move to a position where you are mindful about your behaviour you can respond rather than react.

@Notmydaughteryoubitch thank you so much for your response. What kind of strategies do you use? And is it just general therapy, or is there a specific sort of it for this?

Yes, but first you need to think about whether there is an underlying cause.

If the cause is depression or stress, or (peri)menopause, or some other issue, it is better to treat/address that rather than just try to regulate the symptoms (quickness to anger).

Yes DBT or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.

I don't spend a lot of time around people who go from 0-60, no matter how many times they apologise.