Is this what people mean by broody?

[broodyorconfused]

Recently I think about having a baby a lot - like multiple times a day. But it’s not what I’ve ever understood to be “broody” as described by friends or on tv etc. It’s like I think about the practicalities or I think about childbirth or I think about being pregnant.

I’ve always been extremely on the fence about having a baby, I’m 31 and reaching that age where a lot of people I know have one or two or are pregnant. It’s not like I suddenly have a craving that I can’t control, but it’s like I just can’t stop fixating on the idea of what it would be like to have a child, in a way I never have before. Does this mean I might actually be wanting one? I feel more confused than ever! People always told me one day I’d wake up and hormones would have taken over but that doesn’t feel like that.

It sounds like you're in the process of wanting one but not quite there yet.
Are you in a stable relationship, job and home?
If it would be practical at this point maybe start discussing it with your partner and see if that sways you more one way or the other.

@FoxInTheForest yes, married, in a home & with the means. Everything about our situation is fit for a child. Husband has always been way more keen than I. I haven’t spoken to him about this yet because I don’t want to until my head feels clearer.

My sister announced her pregnancy in October but just before Christmas had to have a TFMR which basically obviously been completely and utterly devastating for her and the whole family. I wonder if that’s just got in my brain. It also makes me feel there’s no way I could have a baby or even try until she’s in a better place mentally.

I spent about a year planning/fixating on having a baby before actually ttc (planning what I would buy, working out cost of that plus mat leave, saving plan for that amount, improving diet/exercise, taking vitamins). It probably was broody, but with the logical part of my mind trying to override that as practically I knew we weren't ready, but felt like I needed to be something.

I agree with PP you are starting to be more open to the idea, perhaps in time maybe a year you will feel full broody where you see a baby and your heart does a flip

Yes this maybe feels like where I am. Tbh I’ve started taking vitamins for women trying to get pregnant but that’s mainly because my doctor friend said they were the best vitamins for any woman of our age to be taking, even if you aren’t planning on a baby. But I think there’s a tiny part of my brain that’s motivated by the idea I might be preparing.

I felt very much like you, never got the wave of hormones but did go ahead and have my first baby (at 31) largely because when I thought to my future I wanted that to include a family of my own.

Lots of people say you shouldn’t do it unless you really want them but I don’t agree, it took having one for me to realise how great it is.

I got like that in my early 30s so we decided to stop contraception and see what happened, thinking if it didn’t happen we’d just carry on with life. Lots of my friends were also having babies by then. After a year of nothing happening yet another friend announced a pregnancy and I realised I was devastated that it wasn’t happening for us so that was properly broody. We did go on to have 2 DC but it took a while.

I never got that overwhelmingly "broody" feeling. In fact my DM commented during my pregnancy that she was worried because I didn't seem particularly broody or focused on my baby. But I'm quite a practical person and I think if I'd waited to feel broody then I'd still be waiting.

What I did realise is that when I thought about my future and being old, I pictured adult children and perhaps grandchildren in it. I realised I did want to try for a family and to have a baby.

So we just stopped using contraception and decided to see what happened.

Two DDs later they're the best thing I ever did and I'm so glad I had them.

It sounds like you're becoming more open to the idea. Perhaps your sister getting pregnant has crystallised things for you (although it's a shame it ended the way it did.) What I would say is don't necessarily wait until you get hit with a broody feeling as I don't think everyone gets them. Being driven by your head and the practicalities rather than a hormonal urge to procreate is no bad thing.