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Original poster

A bottle of Barefoot every day?

32 replies

ohyesido · 03/01/2025 13:47

How much is too much?

A close relative enjoys a bottle of this wine almost every day, they say it is normal and because it is considered low alcohol (9% I think) it isn't cause for alarm.

They don't drink coffee or fizzy drinks generally, just squash and this pink moscato stuff.

I have my doubts as it's probably way over the recommended amount of alcohol consumption.

Is this normal or do I need to stage an intervention like they do in American sitcoms?

OP posts:
Usedphone · 03/01/2025 13:50

That's definitely beyond the limit HOWEVER it will depend. Does it affect their day to day life?

Hesonlyakidharry · 03/01/2025 13:52

If it’s 9% then they are drinking around 7 units a day.
The recommended max is 14 units a week. They are drinking 49 units a week.

They also aren’t having a break. They are an alcoholic.

Original poster
ohyesido · 03/01/2025 13:52

I've not noticed any change in behaviour, we are quite close and see each other at each other's homes regularly every week. Just recently she's been pulling out this wine at various times of the day.

I tried to tactfully ask why she suddenly wants to drink wine at 1pm and she said it's socially acceptable if you don't have kids to look after

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Hesonlyakidharry · 03/01/2025 13:54

ohyesido · 03/01/2025 13:52

I've not noticed any change in behaviour, we are quite close and see each other at each other's homes regularly every week. Just recently she's been pulling out this wine at various times of the day.

I tried to tactfully ask why she suddenly wants to drink wine at 1pm and she said it's socially acceptable if you don't have kids to look after

So it sounds like she is at the stage where she needs the wine. And is drinking every day, substantially over the recommended amount.
And I’m guessing there is usually a couple extra bottles at the weekend or an extra glass or two a day sometimes as well.

It will only keep going up and up.

She is alcohol dependant. If you love her, step in.

PoissonOfTheChrist · 03/01/2025 13:55

Before she knows it she'll be cracking open the wine for breakfast.

She's become an alcoholic.

Original poster
ohyesido · 03/01/2025 13:57

I have no idea how to address this.

OP posts:
Hesonlyakidharry · 03/01/2025 14:03

There are lots of resources online to help you start the conversation with someone you suspect may be an alcoholic. Do some googling, choose a script and go speak to her.
It’s all you can really do. Don’t take too much of this onto yourself; just tell her you love her and you’re worried and you have to talk to her about it. Then follow some online scripts. How she reacts is on her, all you can do is be there for her.

Hesonlyakidharry · 03/01/2025 14:04

And the amount of sugar in that stuff… diabetes is a concern too.

Calmhappyandhealthy · 03/01/2025 14:06

ohyesido · 03/01/2025 13:57

I have no idea how to address this.

I'd ask how many units of alcohol they think they are drinking. They won't know. So tell them and suggest cutting back

See what's said

Go from there

At thd end of the day, adults have autonomy and personal choice

username299 · 03/01/2025 14:07

ohyesido · 03/01/2025 13:57

I have no idea how to address this.

There isn't much you can do. Alcoholics tend to be in denial. I know someone who will sink a 70cl bottle of gin and would deny till they're blue in the face that they have a problem.

If she's doing stupid things like drink driving I'd report her. However she's an adult and can drink as much as she likes.

It's very frustrating, especially for rescuers, to realise how powerless they are in the face of addiction. All you can do is decide what your boundaries are and stick with those.

MidnightPatrol · 03/01/2025 14:08

Drinking a bottle of wine a day is too much.

Drinking at 1pm for no reason when no one else is… that suggests a problem, or at least the probably beginning of one.

Badknitter · 03/01/2025 14:08

Hesonlyakidharry · 03/01/2025 14:04

And the amount of sugar in that stuff… diabetes is a concern too.

Consumption of sugar does NOT cause diabetes by itself

MolkosTeenageAngst · 03/01/2025 14:11

It’s definitely too much, is this something they are just doing o er the Christmas period whilst off work or in their day-to-day life too? If it’s just something for the holidays then even though it’s not healthy I probably wouldn’t say anything, lots of people will have eaten and drunk to excess over the last couple of weeks. If it’s carrying on into January even once back at work then that’s an issue. I’m not sure there’s much you can do though, obviously you can express you think it’s a lot and feel a bit concerned but friend may not feel willing to listen.

Hesonlyakidharry · 03/01/2025 14:11

Badknitter · 03/01/2025 14:08

Consumption of sugar does NOT cause diabetes by itself

Show quote history

Drinking too much increases the risk of type 2 diabetes.

slightlydistrac · 03/01/2025 14:12

Drinkers who say 'it's normal / socially acceptable / everyone does it' are only saying it to convince themselves that they don't have a drink problem.

Embarrassinglyuseless · 03/01/2025 14:17

This is certainly significantly more than recommended. Maybe you could encourag them to watch the panorama on binge drinking and liver disease in women…

Havalona · 03/01/2025 14:34

I think unless it is affecting you personally you should not comment. as the usual response is denial or justification, or an attack on you for interfering in an adult's lifestyle choices.

I understand you may be concerned, but has the person's drinking affected YOU in any way? Is the person functioning, working, house clean, food available, bills paid, that kind of thing. Are they driving while drunk?

If you were to say anything what would you say? Then think how you would follow up a hostile response. Ultimately it is the decision of the drinker to cut down, stop, or carry on.

DancingLions · 03/01/2025 15:02

Honestly, there's nothing you can do. I used to drink a bottle of wine every evening. Had anyone raised "concerns" it wouldn't have made one bit of difference. I had to want to stop on my own. Which I eventually did.

She'll know she's over the recommended units and will be aware of the risks. I certainly was but, at that point, I didn't care.

Hesonlyakidharry · 03/01/2025 15:04

DancingLions · 03/01/2025 15:02

Honestly, there's nothing you can do. I used to drink a bottle of wine every evening. Had anyone raised "concerns" it wouldn't have made one bit of difference. I had to want to stop on my own. Which I eventually did.

She'll know she's over the recommended units and will be aware of the risks. I certainly was but, at that point, I didn't care.

Kindly; that was your personal experience. For others, having the support and love of someone close to them has helped them reflect and realise that it’s time to stop, and it has helped them do it.

It’s different for everyone. Telling OP to stay out of it is wrong. It would also be wrong to tell her to go in all guns blazing. But opening the conversation up, and being there whether or not the this person responds is not a bath thing.

greengreyblue · 03/01/2025 15:06

I wouldn’t say she’s an alcoholic going from what you’ve said but she’s certainly drinking too much for good health. Does she live with anyone? Can you talk with them? Does she work? Drive?

AquaPeer · 03/01/2025 15:12

OP I know you care but you also need to understand there is nothing you can or should do about this. Of course you can talk to her but if you do please make sure you’re non judgemental and I would very much steer away from saying she’s “over the recommend units” or “consuming too much sugar” these aren’t things that mean anything IRL. Telll her the truth, if it is indeed the truth- that you’re worried her drinking has increased to a level she is going to find it hard to pull back from.

many, many people have periods in their life where they drink too much and depend on alcohol too much. A lot of people manage to move on from this and go back to a more normal drinking relationship, or just stop.

Obviously, some people go the other way.

Fundays12 · 03/01/2025 15:14

That's a huge amount of alcohol a week and it sounds like she has an alcohol problem. Unfortunately you can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves

Original poster
ohyesido · 03/01/2025 15:18

@Havalona it doesn't impact me directly but how can. I sit here and say nothing when I know that her actions are going to impact her health weight, teeth, appearance? I don't want her to become some bitter screeching drunk

OP posts:
AquaPeer · 03/01/2025 15:20

ohyesido · 03/01/2025 15:18

@Havalona it doesn't impact me directly but how can. I sit here and say nothing when I know that her actions are going to impact her health weight, teeth, appearance? I don't want her to become some bitter screeching drunk

That is very judgemental. Not only the description of an alcoholic but you have no idea whether it’ll impact her health or appearance

Original poster
ohyesido · 03/01/2025 15:22

M@AquaPeer you're pretty judgemental too. I'm afraid I don't care about my description of alcoholics I only care about my loved one

OP posts: