Weight loss advice for people with feelings and emotions

[Choirsinging]

I’m fed up of reading some of the diet advice threads on here, as if it’s so easy to just eat less.

I eat when I’m feeling unhappy, or when I’ve had a bad day, or when someone has seriously annoyed me. I eat if I’m feeling anxious or nervous.

I can’t relate to mindful eating, or anything that talks about sensing when you’re full, or stopping eating when you’re no longer hungry, or why we should want to. Some of us eat even when we’re full, or even just eat for pleasure.

Can we please have some weight loss support for people who actually have feelings and emotions? I feel like all the diet threads are so cold.

You just described me! I tried to get an answer as to whether weight loss injections would help me, as I am never hungry, so why would an appetite suppressant help me? But no one seemed able to understand that people eat even if not hungry. I don’t fancy doing the jabs anyway personally.
Sorry no advice, but solidarity!

100% me. A friend and I once agreed that we are emotional eaters who haven’t yet discovered an emotion that doesn’t make us want to eat.
I’ll tell you what’s changed it for me - mounjaro. It’s an absolute game changer. I just start to get peckish around meal times, eat what I fancy and then food doesn’t even slightly cross my mind until I start getting peckish again a few hours later. It’s life changing. I’m 10kg down and I don’t feel deprived at all.

I’m sure plenty of people out there must be wondering the same thing about the injections.

Hi OP,

I've used food as a comfort for my whole life. Either to switch off, reward, treat - pretty much all any situation.

Ive been on almost all diets in my 50 plus years.

Like @Ozgirl76 - Mounjaro has been a life changer for me.

@MassiveSalad22 - I thought I'd be like you, because I ate all the time when not hungry so thought appetite suppression would be irrelevant.

What a revelation - the appetite suppression on Mounjaro comes from improving the way your body processes insulin, stabilising blood sugar, physically changing the way your brain works in relation to food.

I feel this is what it must be like to be born with a 'normal' relationship with food.

I'm not really sure what advice could be given to you if I'm honest.

I felt a very similar way to you as a smoker and what used to really irritate me was the advice, "You have to really want to give up".

However, it was true I'm afraid.

After 35 years of smoking I got to the point where I really really wanted to quit and as difficult as it still was, that's what made me manage to do it.

I have no idea what finally gave me the right mindset though. I just know I couldn't have done it without it.

Every single person on the injections is obese. Which means they eat when they are not hungry, there is no other way to be obese. If we didn’t, we would not be obese as we would stop eating when no longer hungry.

ylu aren’t getting an andwer(and I’ve seen multiple answering this and explaining they are the same and how it works) it’s because you’re failing to recognise we all have this issue, all of us.

and op, we all have feelings and emotions. And most obese people comfort eat.

That’s a bit harsh. I have feelings and emotions, but I don’t eat to ease them. Doesn’t mean I don’t feel things.

@Shrinkingrose - I'm not sure about the meaning of your post - genuinely! Can you clarify?

Well knowing what you're doing is a good start, because you are eating consciously and with a purpose - to soothe yourself - and you've recognised that your need is for soothing not sustenance. I guess the next step is to find alternative methods of comfort, so you know your triggers and danger points and have something else to turn to when you encounter them. Is there anything else you love and gain comfort from?

I'm similar to you OP and really need to lose weight. I also have ADHD and eat for pleasure, boredom, sadness etc. I tried mounjaro for a couple of months but had to stop. I had terrible side effects and couldn't get past 5mg, but it also made me feel sick at the thought of most foods. The only foods I could stomach and that didn't make the side effects even worse were bland processed stuff such as chips, bread, chicken nuggets etc which obviously completely defeats the point of the injections

However, it did stop me eating mindlessly for the sake of it or eating to ease my feelings. Mainly because the thought of eating anything made me feel worse than the actual feelings!

I don’t quite follow what you mean but I will just clarify, I’m not obese, I was “just” overweight. I didn’t have zero off switch but I just generally overate a bit too much for a long time.

Additionally I’m sure not everyone will be allowed the injections, if they have medical conditions that would make them unsuitable.

Yes the injections help, they make you now want food / to eat. Some people refer to this as not being hungry, but it's more that you don't think of food when you used to, whether that be due to hunger or timing or bordem etc. I speak from experience - 5 stone over a year on wegovy

*not

I think that if you are an emotional eater then it is very hard. For me I have to really focus on why am I eating this, am I bored, sad, comforted, angry it takes a lot of emotional energy to do it but it can be done. For me I also have to cut right back and have no easy rubbish food around. If it is not easily to hand I am more likely to ask myself why do I want it. Normally it is not hunger. It is possible but it is hard and removing emotion from food is the only way.

I have emotions and feelings but what has worked for me is switching my mindset. If I'm not hungry I don't eat. And the less I eat the less hungry I am. We need to bring food back to basics - it's just fuel for our bodies, remove the guilt, the emotion, the hang ups and the labelling of "good" or "bad" etc etc and it becomes quite boring. And freeing yourself from a lifetime of food issues is ultimately refreshingly liberating.

I randomly saw something on social media a few years back about emotional drinking. It was a fairly simple post about not reaching for a drink every time you got angry and somehow it clicked.

I was managing a difficult team at the time and I realised that every time I finished a challenging phone call - and there were a lot of them - I would take another chocolate bar or biscuit out of my drawer. As soon as I woke up to what I was doing, I started to take back control and deal with the emotions in a don't-let-the-bastards-make-you-fat sort of way.

There are good WL services out there that provide this support along with injections, and although they may seem more expensive than the online providers, I wonder if taking a more holistic approach will lead to longer lasting results. I guess time will tell.

This is me. Looking forward to some helpful practices to use going forwards 🤞

@Shrinkingrose that's not true.

I'm on MJ, prescribed by my GP. My BMI is 27, so I'm overweight but not obese. I have underlying conditions including DM.

I eat out of habit/boredom. I've only just started on MJ so it's not really kicked in yet, although the "food noise" which I never realised I had has disappeared from my head which is interesting.

Yes, I see some folks have jumped, sigh

you need a bmi of 30 , obese, or 27, obese for some ethnicities,or overweight to an extent you’ve weight related issues, ie high blood pressure, sleep apnea, high cholesterol amongst many.

for all of us to get to this state, we over eat. To over eat, means you eat when you’re no longer or not hungry, be it snacking or large portions. No one is overweight or obese due to eating the right amount. Logically.

so the op is asking about people who have feelings and emotions . Like the rest of us do not. We are robots, and about eating when not hungry, when every single over weight or obese person got that way through eating when not hungry or no longer hungry.

They put you off the idea of snacking, you just don't feel like it. They stop you thinking about food all the time. They make you not fancy sweet things and they fill you up so over eating is just not possible or desirable. If you're obese then they are likely to help. Worth a try surely?

It's all very well saying diet threads are cold. We all would like to reach for the treats all the time. Boredom is my big one. And habit. Tiredness is a killer for wanting to eat more.

You need to find your motivation. Mine is that none of my clothes fit and my BMI says I'm overweight. Plus my best friend lost loads of weight and is keeping it off sensibly still eating and drinking fun stuff but reining it back in afterwards. Another friend went on Montjaro and I decided to try the eat less move more lifestyle shift first before resorting to drugs.

I'm also accepted that I might not ever be a size 10 but at least I can stop inching up beyond a 14.

I think its like alcoholism' gambling or drug addiction where things have to get bad for you to want to stop. It's the same with food. If you're telling yourself it's OK/normal/fine really/everyone does it etc then you won't stop eating. Whereas if you can't fit into your fat clothes and you acknowledge something has got to give then maybe you can change your lifestyle.

Currently giving Michael mosley a go.

Absolutely me and 60lb down (well 55 after Xmas!) In 14 months.

I still want to but the issue for me is facing my emotions and some unpalatable truths about me, my life, that I'm just not that happy (but could be). I walk 1hr a day - this helps my head as well as me to try and regulate food (feel.good, don't want to undo hard work etc). Calorie restriction at 1200 cals but not beating myself up for bad says.

It's likely to end up with me single as I realise I feel alone with DH who loves me but isn't physically affectionate. Even if I end up alone,I think I'd be happier in the long run bit is super hard as ultimately he's a good man but I just think we've run our course.

See, I told you it's hard. But it's the only way to beat it. I feel stronger but not yet enough to.confront DH with the issue and shatter his world.

Having really needing to examine this in myself, who I said for decades was an emotional eater, I was kidding myself, I just dont have an off switch (unless medically forced), I love food and Im greedy. I have since discovered triggers of being cold and tired, thats a massive drive to eat when Im not hungry

Also a fear, a genuine fear of being hungry and being told for many many years that if you're hungry on a diet you're doing it wrong, or you dont need to be hungry to lose weight. Thats not true. Hunger is normal, its ok to be hungry, its just a sensation.

People in the UK dont have any more emotions and feelings than people in other countries who dont overeat like we do. We have a food culture here of shit food, eating out of routine, eating alone, eating/snacking between meals, eating for 'fun'. That is why we are more overweight as a nation than many other countries, although they are catching up because they're following our/USA/Australia habits.

Yes habit is a big one.