Losing your native language when you live abroad? (Lighthearted.)

[KnopkaPixie]

I was talking to my mum about an hour ago and my mind went completely blank despite sitting at the very object I was trying to remember the name of. I haven't lived in an English speaking country for 24 years.

The phrase I was searching for was, "Kitchen table." Abroady Mumsnetters, does this happen to you?

It did occasionally when I lived abroad. Still does now and again. I teach a foreign language and sometimes forget what m trying to translate.

This happens to me all the time, and I only speak one language!

When I have to work in my native language (left my home country 35 years ago, speak to dh and dc in English) I am constantly apologising for slipping into English every two seconds.

Fortunately the people I work with are all at least competent in English, but it's still very embarrassing!

My sister has been living abroad for over 20 years too, so our conversations (in our mother tongue) are absolutely pathetic at times.

Hm sometimes. Usually phrases/idioms rather than simple words, though.

It's definitely easier to speak a mix with other bilingual people and not worry about switching!

oh yes, quite a lot. I communicate about 65% of my time in German and sometimes flounder around trying to use the most simple of English words.

I think I gesticulate more and my expressions for annoyance or exasperation have changed but I still say, "Ow" if I stub my toe or something because I think pain is more visceral. It actually fascinates me how different languages have different "pain" sounds.

Yep. You kind of develop a patois. I am currently recovering from a bout of HungarioFranglais. It was very intellectual and happened on New Year's Eve. We were very clever and erudite.

Not speaking, but writing became hard at one point.

It happened to me too, I was working in one language and “living” in another with hardly any English in between (the days before Skype and FaceTime), then when I had DD I needed to buy a book of nursery rhymes and children’s songs in English as I couldn’t remember any. It took me a while when she was born to get into the swing of rambling on in English again (the monologues you have with babies).

I also found I swore a lot more when speaking English, possibly to replace all the words I forgot. My work language has since switched to English most of the time but I’m still swearing a lot. 😳

Yes! I must Google the spelling of about four words in English every time I post on here.

I did know someone who pretended not to remember English words after being in the country for about 6 months. It was pretty funny, she was one of those self hating immigrants who just fit in so much better into their new country and everything from their country of origin is shit🙄

She made a video of her trying to burn her US passport when she finally got citizenship. They're not that flammable 😆

I went abroad with a really strong Geordie accent and found people struggled to understand me when I spoke English so I started trying to soften my accent to make it more understandable and now I speak English with a German accent, along with the common grammatical mistakes that a German would make. Really have to concentrate and force myself to speak normally in English and it's just not worth the bother so I just roll with the German accent and often get complimented on how good my English is.

That’s why I’m on MN!
English is still my language of reference 35 years later, except for certain areas like driving which I learned through Italian.
I speak to animals and babies (and swear) in English but some Italian words just hit the spot, like: “Don’t be “prepotente” with your friend!”
Bossy?
Overbearing?
Unkind?
A little madam/PITA?
It’s something in the middle.

Which language do you dream in, out of curiosity?

This isn’t me but my Anglo-French friend came to see us over Xmas and she’s been in Paris for the best part of a decade but was British born and in the Uk until 25, she had this. Our other Anglo-French friend (who is London based) had to translate for her a couple of times (wine had been taken which I imagine didn’t help!)

Not English as that's my 2nd language (but main language for 34 years now) but I do miss in my first language. I find after a week back it slips in again without a issue.

I have this a lot, I do speak my first language everyday, but its to children, so a simple version really.

I don’t live in the UK anymore and English is my second language, at the moment we don’t speak English at home and haven’t for over a year. My mum has stayed with us over christmas so we have been speaking English, it was only then I realised how poor my Englisg had become purely due to a lack of use.

So I speak three languages, but at the moment I’m pretty crap at all three!

My parents retired and until recently lived in France for many years. When they were still in France and visited the UK, every so often a French word would come into the sentence - particularly if it was a more technical word. Luckily, I speak pretty good French and can translate!

I have dreams I'm speaking both languages. I speak both languages in my day to day life so it's a reflection of that.

Probably different for immigrants who don't use their first language at all in daily life.

I also use an Icelandic accent in English sometimes by mistake when speaking English to Icelanders for whatever reason. Am aware this makes me sound like a twat but it's hard not to. My children do the same thing, speak English English to me but Icelandic English to cousins etc - when they do it it's just cute!

Me too! 21 years in Germany.

It used to happen to me until my first child was born. I was determined to raise them bilingually. It brought my language right back. I've since taken up a remote degree in my mother tongue, which is also helping massively. Occasionally I meet fellow countrymen and women who keep switching to English (despite no one else being present); I assume they must feel similar to you.

Im welsh and English is my 2nd language.

i think in welsh before speaking English trip over my words. I can go for days without speaking it.

my brother lives in England (30 years) and speaks welsh like me. Hasn’t forgotten it even though we only speak every 2-3 months.

Very interesting question. I'm Dutch, have lived in the UK for 27+ years. In the first 10 years I experienced the phenomenon you describe where I couldn't access my Dutch when I needed it. FWIW I have been fully bilingual from age 10 but lived in the Netherlands until age 29.

Then after that.my Dutch came back and became more accessible again, to the point where I now no longer have word finding issues at all any more.

A confounding factor may be that I have a natural language brain and also speak French and German fluently, so my circuits may just be wired that way.

My Dad was also bilingual. When he developed Parkinsons and the associated dementia, he managed to hold onto language for longer because he could switch when he had word finding difficulties in one. Fortunately this was in a nursing home in the Netherlands where the care staff all spoke good English.

The brain is a fascinating thing.