Xmas/NY with a newborn - what would you add to the bingo card?

[BingoMingo1]

just getting over xmas and new year with my lovely newborn. Whilst it was his first xmas, it has been overwhelming sometimes

I wish I’d made a bingo card as a lighthearted way of helping me cope with the madness of my family around the baby.

So far I have:

• my mil walking out of the room holding my newborn baby
• my dad walking out of the room holding my newborn baby and giving him to random relatives without asking/telling me
• my mum offering my baby around like a cuddly toy
• my gran barging into the room saying ‘my turn’ like he’s a cuddly toy, when he’s comfortable where he is
• my auntie and my gran telling us we are making a rod for our own backs by picking up the baby when he cries - we should be leaving him to cry
• my parents coming to visit knowing they have a cold and cuddling the baby anyway, who then also gets a cold, but it’s fine because it’s that time of year
• everyone who holds him thinking they can settle him if he cries and having to repeatedly ask for him back

Did you experienced this with your baby? What would you add to the bingo card? 🥴

Yes but I've never minded people holding my children . Sometimes it was nice for an hour so I could get on with something.

@WhatIDoIsEnough sometimes it is nice, yes. Sometimes I’d like to know where he is and who’s holding him, and sometimes I’d like him not to catch a cold with a blocked nose right over Xmas so none of us get any sleep

It was my first Xmas with my now 9 week old DD, and honestly it’s been the worse Xmas ever. It’s been utterly exhausting. Going from house to house with a newborn is so intense, and draining. Her sleep totally went to pot. I’m glad it’s all over to be quite honest with you.

I would like to add “are you sure she doesn’t need changing/feeding” to the bingo card. The amount of times I was asked that question! 🙄

I still remember my dd first Christmas (18 years ago) she was around 3 months old and became grumpy and unsettled after been passed around various relatives. Therefore dh decided to take her upstairs for some quiet, my GF complained about her been taken away and not getting to see her, he’d been there several hours and cuddled her at least once.

Negativity about your feeding choice (whichever it was)
Comments on baby too hot or cold
A "joke" about brandy/whiskey etc in the bottle to make them sleep
A ridiculous amount of presents

Years ago now, but I had the opposite. Nobody gave a shit and basically ignored DD entirely. DH and I held her between us and were left out, juggled getting food etc. I think I'd rather yours where people actually cared!

I have a newborn and adored Christmas and NY, sorry your experience wasn't great, I am sure next year will be better!

I enjoy others holding him, I usually go somewhere/have visitors and ask who wants to cuddle first? He's the first grandchild/great grandchild/nephew/cousin etc so it's like the Queen of Sheba visiting! I don't mind them passing him around, but then my family tend to ask, can I pass him to so and so etc. If he cries I'm given him straight back (unless it's his dad or my parents who try and settle him and see what he wants/needs, which I'm fine with) I like others holding him, it gives me chance to sit back with a brew but I do understand its not for everyone so I empathise with you.

I hope his cold isn't too bad, people should not be visiting when they're unwell, in my opinion x

My parents and all my grandparents were all dead by the time I had my dc

How lucky you are.

I do agree anyone ill should make an effort to keep away from a new baby. I hope they're better soon

I’m sorry for your losses and I’m glad you had lovely parents and grandparents. Mine are sadly totally dysfunctional for too many reasons for this thread and I have a strained relationship with them yet am compelled to spend time with them at xmas to keep the peace. It certainly did and does not feel very lucky

3 years ago when my son was a baby I had everything you mentioned plus:
~ In laws insisting the baby looks and behaves exactly like DH (or his great aunt/uncle/second cousin) and not acknowledging that the baby resembles anything to do with you as the mother.

~ MIL reminiscing on how she felt absolutely fine straight after a c section, stomach was completely flat by the following Monday (I promise she said this!!) etc etc ….

~ in laws saying my baby prefers it at their house and would rather stay with them forever hahaahahaha 🤪🫠

In that case, I think you need to set your boundaries...I'm sure that's easier said than done though!

Can I add to the card:

• relatives plonking themselves on your sofa for the entire visit and wanting you, a knackered new mum, to run around waiting on them

Aw bless you!! Definitely a very common list I think. My son was born end of 2021, so not the middle of Covid but it was still definitely around and prevalent, I said, VERY clearly, to PILs that while I was happy for him to be held by them over Christmas I really didn’t feel comfortable with the wider family playing pass the baby with my 6 week old. First chance she got when I wasn’t looking, MIL handed him to my husband’s cousins who had quite a noticeable ‘cold/cough’ for a cuddle. I was so angry 🤣 luckily baby boy didn’t get sick but I kept him very close from then on!

How old is your baby? If you're calling them a newborn it's unlikely you'd have got any sleep regardless of a cold/blocked nose.

You do sound a bit precious but the dripfeed about the dysfunctional family explains why

unwanted advice; everyone from mothers to mother in laws, grandparents and grandparents in law plus unmarried childless aunts all know what is best for baby.
according to them baby has been fed/winded/slept that way for years and Drs these days dont know what they are on about

Relax op, they are excited and doing no harm. Nothing wrong with most of what you write

He’s 7 weeks. He was doing good 3 hour chunks until he got a cold and since then we’ve got 45 minute in one go if we’re lucky, but he’s often crying as soon as he’s put down in his crib so straight back up again.

didn’t mean for it to be a dripfeed - just wondering if anyone else had experienced what i have this christmas and wanted to vent, really. It feels like it’s been really importnat for everyone else to have ‘first xmas’ with the baby apart from me, his actual mum

Yep, had this one too, except at 3 weeks so not with added festive cheer

It feels like it’s been really importnat for everyone else to have ‘first xmas’ with the baby apart from me, his actual mum

100% this. Solidarity OP.

I think it’s nice to have so many people excited about a new baby! I have 5 month old twins and this Christmas we had so many people pop round to see them…it was nice. I loved the fact that people wanted a cuddle. Also love how often people stop me to have a little look at them when we’re out and about.
it is annoying that your parents visited with a cold though. My girls were born prematurely so have to be a little careful with that, but extra cuddles means break time for mum, which is always a win in my book ☺️ also nice to see how loved they are too.

A long time ago, but my in laws constantly passed my 1st DC (a few weeks old) between each other like a hot potato. Every time he moved even slightly they said Oh I think he's filled his pants!
Vile expression anyway but I wanted to scream every time because I was sick of hearing it.

@BingoMingo1 I feel your pain. When DS2 was born my dad and stepmom made grumbling noises about not spending Christmas Day with DS1 (actually we did for his second Christmas and he cried all Christmas Eve so it was hard work but they forgot this). So I was guilt tripped into inviting my dad, stepmom to ours for Christmas Day even though my mum would be there (it was a very acrimonious split) and it was awful...never again!

A couple of years ago for me now.
"Why don't you just put that baby down?"
"Well MIL / SIL after 3 miscarriages and 3 rounds of IVF I'm quite happy sat here cuddling my baby thanks👍🏻".

Suffering from godawful mastitis, so needing to feed my baby, who also happened to have had his jabs and really wanted me.

MIL kept him with her for a little photoshoot in spite of both me and my son protesting and used an awful baby voice to say, "it's ok mommy, I'm happy over here".