Partner gambles but doesn't think it's a issue...

[tvliestr]

I'm talking hundreds.
After bills he is left with £1,000 a month for pocket money.
It's all gone
We were meant to get oasis tickets a few months ago.
I went online to get them,got to front of queue he told me he had no money left.
He has £30 to last the month.

We want to save for a house.
He has said that I can't waste money...which caused me to flip.
I wanted to buy sugababes tickets £80 for two.
He said it's a waste
So I said but you will get paid and gamble.

So why can't we have any nice trips or nights out ? But he can gamble ?
How's this fair ?

Gambling addiction is very hard to get out of and the risk of relapse is very high. I would say run the for the hills

Walk away from this one OP. You’ll never save for a house with someone who gambles their wage away and I’m not sure why you’d want to financially tie yourself with a mortgage to someone who currently spends all of his money and leaves himself with £30 left to last a month.

Red flag. I would walk away

We have been together 5 years now and live together.
I only found out a year ago how bad it was.
Some nights after payday he is on his slots all night.
I hate it
I get annoyed because the rest of this month it's all on me
All the food I have to buy
I've decided this month it's going to be basic

I really wanted to go to see strictly tour but that's off the cards now because I'm not paying for it all.
He has double the amount of spare money a month

Omg leave him!!

You deserve better than this.

Who cares if you've been together 5 years and live together, even if you'd been together 40 years with grown up children the advice would be to leave.

You will never go on nice trips with him.
You will never have the nice things and home you could have if you pooled your money.
If you have children they will go without because he will gamble his money.

Leave now and be glad it was only 5 years and shared accomodation that needed sorting.

Well, he doesn't think it's a problem. So he isn't even going to make any attempt to change. Let alone actually change.

He will just live off the food you buy and carry on gambling.

You can live with that situation forever, or you can leave him. I don't see a third option, to be honest.

You love the man he was when you met him. You don't love what he is now.

Walk away. Do NOT entangle your finances with him.

Dump him
Tell him it's over

Every month I say
Withdraw your money and put it in the draw
Then your not tempted
He doesn't
He takes no notice
I just lost my shit tonight when he's banging on to me about saving

You can't change him. He won't change unless he wants to. There is no future for you with him.

Nagging him won't make him stop.

Tel him you don't want to date a loser. He needs to hear the harsh truth.

You are "additional spends" for him.

My friend gambled on horses or football but studied the form. He wouldn't put a penny in any machine . He used to say, "if you can't afford to loose, you can't afford to gamble" He had a gambling fund and only used this . If he lost that was it . He didn't then use his joint savings with his wife, or their joint current account. He would put some money from his wages ( amount agreed with his wife) into his gambling fund , she used her share of spending money to do what she wanted. He was a very successful gambler.

OP, this is a choice from him.

Just to clarify - did he get paid at the end of December, had £1K disposable and now has £30 til the end of January?

He doesn’t need to withdraw his money and put it in a drawer (he’d just dip into it and go to the bookies). He can put a gambling freeze on his bank account. Takes seconds to do. But he’s choosing not to.

You’re mad to stay with this man.

Just out of interest, when he wins, does he give you some of the winnings?

@Kibble29 yeah he had around £1,000 left
Bought some presents so maybe £800 left
Now he has £30
He doesn't share but he will take me for a meal out or give me £100 for a hair apt

He has double the amount of spare money a month

No, he doesn’t. He has £30 for the month because he is a gambling addict.

@tvliestr please get your head out of the sand.

He is in denial about his addiction and turns it back on you. You need to dump him.

Leave him.

Gamblers destroy lives. Not just their own, but anybody around them who gets sucked into their orbit.

You will need strength and support, but believe me, it's better to do it now than to wait until you have lost everything due to his gambling.

Gamblers also lie. They lie to themselves mainly, and the tentacles spread from there.

Do not share in his denial. You already know where this road leads to, and it's not good.

He had £30 left when you went to buy the Oasis tickets a few months back and he also has £30 now. Is it always £30 he has in his account?

Maybe he is OK with always having only £30.

Maybe in 30 years it will have increased to £70, but hopefully he will be a distant memory.

I think you need to understand you will never have a house. Ever.

I spoke to him about it tonight and I'm now getting the silent treatment.
As if I'm in the wrong

So he’s successfully turned this around so that he’s punishing you.

I think you know what your options are here. If you accept this, that’s up to you, but forget about nice holidays, home improvements or anything else you might want.

Because he’s uncomfortable that you’re calling out his shit.

Well just found out he hasn't paid sky this month
I thought the d/d came out but it was the 27th

This one nails it. You would be mad to tie yourself to him any further. Throw him back, OP.