Secular “lighting a candle”

[himyf]

I have family going through some very difficult times at the moment, and have been surprised to find myself wanting to go to church and light a candle for them and put in a prayer request. I was raised culturally catholic but have never been particularly religious so it’s surprised me that this impulse still exists in me.

Does anyone have a secular ritual that creates that same feeling? A totally useless gesture but it feels important to me to do something in a situation where I feel completely powerless.

'Doing something' when we feel powerless is attractive.

I'm a bleeding heart charity type so I tend to donate, or fundraise, volunteer, or advocate for whatever is bothering me. Metaphorical 'lighting a candle instead of cursing the dark'.

Is there a charity that works on the issue your relative is struggling with?

I think if it makes you feel better then you should do it. I light singular candles often and say a little prayer, haven't been to church in a long time but I can imagine it's a lovely place to light a candle and sit and contemplate. I lit a candle for my best friends Nan who passed away and let my friend know I'd lit one for her that evening and she really appreciated it. So much so she did the same for when my Nan passed. It made me feel warm to know someone was thinking of me at such a hard time X

Thoughts and prayers.

They won't change anything but If it gives you comfort, then no harm in it.

I always light candles for my mum and MIL in a church/cathedral, even though none of us were/are religious. Just a ‘thinking of you’, I suppose. Probably odd 😆 but no doubt I’ll continue to do it on the odd occasion I find myself in that situation.

If in even the smallest way it helps you in times of trouble, the gesture isn't useless.

There's a connection for you in that act. A refocus of energy, perhaps.
It's a ritual and rituals have a purpose. We humans are not just functional beings. We have conscious, subconscious and spirit and some things bring us comfort and connection even if we don't understand exactly why.

I am not religious at all BUT if I ever find myself in a church where you can light a candle for someone I always do it and think of someone I lost

If you want to light a candle or request a prayer, don’t stop yourself just because ‘you’re not religious’. If that is what instinct tells you to do and it brings you peace, do it.

You would not believe how many come into our church in similar circumstances to you and do the same.

Just light the candle, op 🕯️

I'm not religious but the act of lighting a candle is lovely. I can't explain why, but there's an energy, like an elemental or spiritual connection when doing so. But equally even if it ends up all just a load of woo, if it helps you what's the harm :)?

Good post.

I light candles in churches and cathedrals on holiday and send a photo to family groups.
My kids used to call it making a wish when they were having lovely cultural holidays.

As a pagan, I would say that lighting a candle is one way of connecting with the energy of the universe and the spark of life within us. 🕯
It can symbolise hope, honour the memory of those who have gone (and connect with the divine.although that may mean nothing to you)

Humans have been creating fires to light their darkness for hundreds of thousands of years, and I think your instinctive wish to light a flame, and make it meaningful, is deep within all of us.

OP you should feel able to do this at your local church if you wish to. It doesn't matter what you believe. Churches are for everyone and it's a lovely way to think about your relative. Sorry it is such a difficult time.

@himyf If I were you, I'd go and light a candle in a church if that's what you are drawn to do. I sometimes light a candle in my window and go outside to look at it.

Lighting a candle is a beautiful thing.
I was on holiday many years ago and lit a candle in a church for a dear relative who was poorly.
I only found out when I got home that they died the same day I lit that candle. So it's always been poignant for me xx

I do not belong to any religion but have a particular individual faith.
However I do appreciate churches and cathedrals where you can light a candle and sit reflect. I also do it at home on certain anniversaries.
So, OP, don't worry - just do it wherever you want and have your moment xx

I don't have a religious bone in my body.

However I love old churches.

i will take the opportunity to light candles for loved ones when there & make a donation. It helps the church in a very small way and it gives my candle a safe place to glow with other candles & bring some light in.

There are MNers & MNers children I always light candles for, gone but not forgotten.

I agree with lighting a candle and enjoy churches as a place to do such

As a Christian I agree with you 🕯

light the candle op x

thank you so much everyone for your kind words and encouragement to light a candle if I feel drawn to. I don’t know why but I felt so emotional reading the messages ❤️

I also really liked the idea of donating to a charity so I’m going to do that too. Literal and metaphorical lights in the dark. Thank you so much and happy new year.