Have you had adult kids come back to live with you? Tips please

[Busywithsomething]

Well my eldest - who has been travelling for 2 years- is back in the UK and now hopes to get herself a serious job again ( was in IT). Her plan is to stay with us for up to a month. Depending how job search goes, after then, she might try to stay with friends in London or her younger brother in London. Also she now has a boyfriend who will also be staying here. He seems nice enough. So can you let me have tips please? She's kind of high maintenance, as in gets through a lot of booze, likes nice-ish food. Will help clean kitchen and I expect do her own, or their own, clothes washes. Would probably put the hoover round if I were to ask. I still imagine it;s going to cramp our style.

Can you please give me some tips? How do you manage? It's the household chores and the cost of food/ drink and the need for our own space that I imagine could be issues.

We don't have a big house but it wouldn't be too cramped. Bathrooms not an issue. We've got used to having our own space though. Feeling a bit apprehensive. Any thoughts or ideas, suggestions would be great please.

Dd 28 moved back for a month post break up. She did her own laundry and pitched in with cooking... The very kind young lady even left us her ddog as a farewell gift!! We didn't take any cash as she was saving for a rental.....

Let her buy her own food and booze if she has expensive tastes!

seconded @flameofgerontius

she buys all own food/booze, contributes a % to bills and you adjust rent accordingly?

Could that work @Busywithsomething

Obviously you draw the lines in what you want to see in order. That will save you the disorder. Have clear rules for the boyfriend, they both have to buy his food.

thanks, yes I think my husband is going to suggest she buys their own food. I think she would agree to it but how will it work? I mean would we allocate fridge space to them? Who cooks first? Do we agree a time for each couple to cook? What if everyone is hungry by half 6? Maybe they should cook first.

I think I’d prepare to have her there for a lot longer than expected.

People can’t afford to have sofa surfers and jobs are hard to come by.

@Busywithsomething "Who cooks first? Do we agree a time for each couple to cook?"

would depend on preference? Which of you and your DD like to eat earlier/later?

eta; yes allocate fridge/cupboard space (like a house share arrangement)

From experience it's a difficult balancing trick. Decide what is 100% absolute - eg for her to buy their own booze, keep mess in their room, not hog the TV in the evenings, whatever it is. Accept that there will be some creep - I'd put money on food and social area usage.

DD did say at one stage "I don't know what happens when I come home, I revert to teenage, my room is a tip and I expect the fridge to be full of whatever I want, I'm not like this at all when I'm living away". From her POV it was still her home and she had an inalien right to live there like she had as a child. From our POV we'd moved on, she'd moved out, and while we still had some of her stuff scattered around it was our home and she was a bit of a guest. A delicate balance all round.

@olderbutwiser thanks, I like that approach. Identify the main points- defo she buys her own booze. Food too I hope but especially the drink. She's used to going out for food a lot but I doubt her budget is up to that these days.

Can't be sure how messy she is these days, we'll see,
Many thanks :)