Not belonging?

[Spicykitten]

Please be kind, this is a very sensitive issue for me.

Does anyone else experience feelings of not fitting in or not belonging with family members?

I’m 28 and I have two half sisters (we share the same Dad), who are 11 and 9 years older than me. Growing up and even as an adult I have felt that I don’t fit in because my sisters always do things together or go places together and I am never invited. They regularly go on holidays and outings together and I only find out from their social media posts.

I do to keep in touch with them via WhatsApp and Insta etc. However, if I do not message them, then they won’t message me first. I seem to be the only one who makes an effort to visit them, but they have never reciprocated. For example, I bought my first house a year and a half ago, but neither of my sisters have even expressed a desire to visit (I live pretty close to them).

I feel like an outsider.

I want to talk about these feelings with them, so at least they’ll know. But I’m worried that it’ll blow up in my face.

I have half siblings, we share a dad. I don’t feel any closer to them than I do my neighbours.

They are a lot older than you and had a relationship before you came along. I think you should take this on the chin as the natural order of things and not let it worry you.

I don't have half siblings but a friend does and even though they'll be civil with each other when they see each other, they don't have a strong bond. It's strange isn't it that even though blood related, it doesn't automatically mean you'll have a bond, yet people who discover half siblings in later life often feel a bond with them. I've always wondered why that is.

I’ve wondered this too! It’s very interesting.

It’s heartbreaking for me because I idolised my sisters growing up 🙁

Would you ever have an honest conversation with them and tell them that? Maybe they don't think you are that interested?

I've always been the black sheep - narc mother surrounded by enablers wanting to keep the peace.

I've not seen my family in 11 years - best thing that ever happened to me.

You idolised them and I wonder if you have ever felt equal to them? Something about your post makes me wonder about how you view yourself compared to them. I think these feelings are common OP, however it might help you to explore in more depth why you feel like this.

Are they each other's full siblings? Did they grow up in the same house?

An 11 and 9 year age gap is pretty big and I imagine that even if you did all live together you didn't grow up together as such as you would have always been at such different stages.