Bit of a weird thing but

[ElloKiffy]

My son is 20 and I'm pretty sure he is autistic but he won't get tested (2 of his siblings are diagnosed)
He never really had mates round as we lived in a small house and he shared his bedroom, plus he's always been very shy.
We moved last year and he now has a big bedroom, he's spent a while getting it how he wants it. He's got a small couch in there and his gaming set up, coffee table etc...

Well for the 2nd time this week (and never before) he's had a load of friends round!

Must be 4 or 5 lads up there, all laughing and joking and playing on the PS5, ordering food etc

I'm just so happy for him.

That's delightful OP 😊

In the most polite way, make sure your son isn't footing the bill for these new friends.
I'm not trying to spoil your happiness.
I hope they are genuine friends for your son

Ah that’s so lovely!

Noooo, they're not new friends, they're his friends from high school, going back years!
He goes to their houses but Im excited because he's never had anyone round to ours before because he never had the room!

One of them he's known since 5 years old, they're all good lads and they all pay their own way.

I understand your concern though, it does read like he could be taken advantage of but it's definitely not like that :)

That’s lovely, I totally get your joy ☺️

My dd (almost 18) is autistic and struggled with friends all through secondary school. Since going to college she’s made a nice bunch of friends and now has 3 consecutive days of socialising this week!

That's really lovely , I was just worried it might not have been.
My misunderstanding.

No, I appreciate your concern. I would think the same. You have to be careful.

I'm glad you are pleased and he seems happy. Having friends and interests together can be so important.
Sorry if prying, but any reason YOU never pursued any testing in the 16yrs he was a child? Did he not show any signs/symptoms then and it all just started to show now?

I get it. Yay for him. And you x

It just never occurred to me when he was small, I think DH and I are autistic too but we just thought we were a pair of weirdos who found each other.

He's my eldest and just thought the kids were 'quirky' like us.

Now, knowing alot more about autism I can clearly see the behaviours and quirks are autism but 18 years ago when he was a toddler I had no clue.

A teacher suggested we get his youngest sibling tested years ago and then we got his other siblings tested after the 1st child was diagnosed.

By that point my eldest was over 16 and didn't want to be tested to it was his choice.

DC2 had a very difficult time in mid to late teens, then re-connected with some old friends, initially online and then in person. They've gone on from strength to strength and now live independently and have found work that suits them.
I'm pleased for you, OP. It's terribly worrying when you think your child (whatever their age) might be isolated, so it's lovely to see it when things turn around for them.

This is lovely! Yay!! Glad he's enjoying his friends round

That's so lovely

I have a DS20 who could be a little quiet when he was young. It was really difficult through the pandemic but they bounced back and his friendship group from school is still strong. They are all at uni but regularly have get togethers, usually where DS is at uni because there are several of the group in the city and it is a good place to socialise and watch rugby.

They have all been at school together since 11 and some since 3 so they know each other well.

I love seeing the way they have grown into young men. They also have a full disclosure rule, and are happy to tell me all my son’s secrets. They do the same with all the parents. They do look after each other.

This is lovely.