Haven’t told grandparents about boyfriend of 5 years

[pnac]

I’m in my mid-late 20s now and have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. Lived with him for 2 years. I have never told my grandparents about him. They are both still around and we used to be close.

The reason I haven’t told them is because my boyfriend is from an ethnic minority background. My grandparents are hugely racist and massively brexity, and no, it’s not just because of their age.

So much so that I didn’t feel comfortable in telling them about him and now it’s sort of just carried on that way for years. Which is sad, but is it not their own doing?

There's no rule that says you have to tell them.

If you are close to them you should tell them. Maybe their racism is down to ignorance and if they meet your DP and like him and form a relationship with him they may change their viewpoint

I think just tell them. Say you've been seeing someone for a good while now, he's really nice, treats you well etc etc and then add in something that indicates his background so it is not the main focus. They may mention it they may not. They might surprise you. It would be out of order for them to then want to discuss his ethnicity further other than genuine pleasant questions. If they don't like it then that's too bad and they will miss out on a full relationship with you. You don't need to hide your life to protect those who are ignorant. Good luck.

Do you plan to marry him?

What about your parents op? Are they around? Do they know?

They’ll get used to it. Just tell them and keep going.

@Justcallmebebes That’s a shit idea - it’s not incumbent on OP’s DP to be some kind of example to challenge OP’s racist grandparents’ racism.

You could tell them. But there's no need for them meeting him, what with their rasism.
If they push to meet him, point out the reason why it won't be happening.

if you’re fine with lying to them about this, you could just continue to do that. If you’d rather tell them, do so. If they find out you’ve been together a long time and ask why you didn’t tell them, you could say it’s due to their racism

I agree
He's a person not a teaching aid for racists