11MO brushing teeth- why is it so hard?

[Mumsyys]

My 11mo as i said won't let me brush his teeth. is a really hard job. he's got 8 teeth in total 4 up and 4 down. the top teeth are yellow a bit and looks like with food on them but won't come off as he won't even let me brush them. he screams and cries when i try i let him hold the brush but still nothing. i try to make him laugh to get the brush in his teeth but cries instantly and closes his mouth moving about: any tips?
i don't want him to have yellow teeth or tartare or nothing. but those stains unfortunately look like tartare to me

when is it easier for them to cope with it?

If his teeth are stained already, how often would you say you've managed to actually brush them? What's he eating?

I'll just cover off some basics:
Are you using a soft baby brush?
Are you using a delicious toothpaste like Brush Baby Applemint? My son is obsessed and does his best to eat it.
Has he seen you brush your teeth?
Do you let him "brush" his teeth teeth with the toothbrush after you're done?

I think a lot of it is ceaseless routine and demonstrating that toothbrushing is happening no matter what, even if on some days you manage to only run the brush over his teeth once. You need to remain calm even when you want to throw them across the room.

I used to wrap him up in a towel when he fought too much but now at 19 months he gets the stool by myself, I brush his teeth, then let him have a go (he just sucks or chews on it tbh) and then we rinse and tap and put it away.

It's the exact same quick routine every single day and I talk him through everything I'm doing; "mummy brush top teeth, good boy, now your bottom teeth, thank you, now your back teeth, yes and now the other side, good boy!! Your turn!"

Sometimes I have to get him in a headlock but he mostly cooperates now.

this is how they look like.
i try everyday since he had them but no cooperation at all.. and he eats everything i eat as well the foods. and fruit vegetable and only drinks water and breast milk

Ooh what happened to his chipped tooth? Gave you taken him to the dentist? I wonder if it's hurting him?

DD is 2. I like to think we employ gentle parenting. But we regularly have to pin her down to brush her teeth as she screams solidly for two minutes.

Lesser of evils, but the whole experience is blooming horrendous and resent that it happens twice a day!

I have a 15 month old and since the beginning I try to make it fun by singing and like a PP said letting him do it a bit as well. But sometimes I've also had to pin him down if he won't cooperate. There are Instagram videos on how to do it. He's also got a chipped tooth from falling over once onto his face but the dentist said it was fine after checking him. Do you have a dentist OP? Try and register him if not.

I don't give my son any added sugar as like you said OP it's difficult to clean their teeth and anyway added sugar isn't needed in their diet. What I mean is he doesn't have any biscuits, cake, sweets, juice etc . But he does have fruit and breast milk which obviously contains natural sugar which still affects their teeth so it's important to brush.

Oh god i hate this job the most out of all parenting jobs. Even worse than shitty nappies.

(edit to add mine NEVER cooperates no matter how many songs and whatnot. Second he sees the brush i have to chase him 😂) he's 18 months.

Dentist told me :

No milk in a bottle (the milk gathers and the milk sugars stick more to top of teeth due to suckling motion and cause rotting) so a cup of milk then teeth and bed

Dentist knows mine is almost impossible to get his done he saw himself he will not stay still. But he explained it's vital and to try at least a minute twice a day

Told me soft toothbrush, go easy on sugars only water after teeth brushing

Told me my previous attempt to not traumatise him by letting him just chew and do his own wasn't enough even at this young age and that there was no choice - i had to do it

So i do the following

Set in my mind this is none negotiable, in the same way i wouldnt leave him in a dirty nappy, this helped me get past feeling cruel for forcing him

Reminding myself that he would be much more distressed having rotten teeth that have to be pulled out. This has to be done under ga i believe and is far more dangerous and distressing than forced teeth brushing for one minute twice a day

I have no choice but to force it. I lay him on his back, my left leg over his chest with his arms pinned underneath, my right arm holding his head still and mouth open, and left arm to brush

To help with the distress i feel when he's literally screaming blue murder, and also with the timing, i brush the top and focus only on counting to 30 seconds. Same for bottom. To make one minute.

Reminding myself that it's ok for him to scream and fight and all that - because he's expressing and feels safe to express his emotions and that's ok, i would be just as furious if someone did it to me! He's just expressing his dislike and hes allowed to do that.

I do first brush before midday nap so he can go straight into his cot with water bottle and calming nap time, same at bedtime i ALWAYS have bottle of water in cot ready for him going immediately into it to calm down. Without fail. And as such he always knows what to expect and that helps him too.

I also let him watch me brush my teeth and give him his brush and he's started copying the movements which I'm so proud of.

Its hard and horrible and im surprised i haven't had ss at the door the way he screams blue murder. But the dentist assured me it isn't hurting him with a baby brush, he just doesn't like it. That's ok, he doesn't have to. But he would like rotten and tooth removal far more. It is one of my non negotiables and its gotten easier and as awful as it sounds i now dont feel phased too much because he needs me to do this whether he likes it or not.

Also what helped me was watching tv shows on YouTube about kids with teeth so bad they needed general anaesthetic and removal and seeing the kids and parents distress.

I did this the first year of his life and dentist told me it's not enough because they don't know how to do it properly. It's a good idea alongside you doing them too though. I do it with mine and hes picking up the movements which is great

i don't know how he chipped it.. but he bites everything. so must have been something hard and chipped it like that..
He doesn't feel pain has been that for a while.
We went to dentist but she didn't even see it, put a finger in his mouth and said good to go

My older daughter was the same for quite a while (but it does get better). In the meantime you just have to get them done (and that does mean pinning them down for a bit, but if the alternative is tooth decay then there isn't a choice really).
It's easiest if you are behind them - so lie them down on the floor / bed with their head in your lap, you can use your legs to keep them from rolling away, and then you should be in a decent position to get them done. Keep it calm on your part - narrate what you are doing, sing some songs, etc.

My 1 year old (14m) hastes it too. I hate doing it.
I do it though and he screams. It's like fighting a crocodile. I obviously can't pin him down but it's a mix of him screaming and pushing me away, pulling the brush out of my hands and his mouth and me trying all different angles and tricks to get him to open his mouth and brush his teeth.
He isn't interested in playing with the brush. I've tried different flavours. I think it's the feeling of the brushing he hates.
I just think I have to do it so I get on with it and telling him he has to have them done because they have to last a long time 😂 Bloody awful though for all involved.

As a child toothpaste used to make my gums sting. The dentist said brushing was more important than toothpaste so brush with water.

I think as someone said upthread there are better flavours for children.

Pin him. Its awful, i hate doing it but you have to. Mine is big and strong as hell and its so hard but if you can visualise I'll try to explain how i have to do it. If i didnt do it this way then he would crocodile roll, smack and grab the brush, turn his head, kick and all kinds.

-Put him on his back
-One leg over his chest with his arms pinned underneath
-Im left handed so change hands if necessary but with my right hand i curl my arm round his head and use my hand to grip his jaw and keep it open as gently as possible
-With left hand i brush. 30 seconds top 30 seconds bottom.
-Sometimes he bites the brush too hard so i wait til he loosens rather than risk pulling - i just pause the 30 seconds til i can start again
-Immediately after i get him into a calm safe activity. For us it is bottle of water pre prepared in cot which i also prepared all nice and cosy, so i do his teeth before midday nap and straight before bed

It sounds brutal and cruel, and it feels that way too, but it would be more so to not do his or her teeth properly and have rotting sore and teeth needing pulling out under general anaesthetic.

I promise it gets easier, and i promise counting 30 seconds top and 30 seconds bottom helps you stay calm. I also promise if you find you guys personal calm or distraction activities for afterwards together, it will become more easy and so much a routine that the child will expect it and know it will happen and what will happen after. So they will kick off and express anger as is their right, but they will calm quickly as they also know something calm comes next.

Babies are strong, trust me mine is shockingly strong and stubborn, but they are much smaller and you can pin them if you find the right way (and learn to become a contortionist haha)

Did you mean to tag me? I’m managing to clean his teeth. I lay him on his back in the bath and hold his face and he opens his mouth to protest and I do it then. In the mornings I do the same on the changing mat. A muslin over his eyes or on his head distracts his hand. I don’t pin him down

We used to Grr like a tiger to get the front ones and Arr like a pirate to get the back ones.

I did mean to tag you, im sorry I was genuinely trying to help, i must have read your post wrong as it sounds like you have it down to a fine art already! We all find our own ways. My apologies if I sounded other than helpful, that was my only intention 😊

I also like your personal skills, a muslin to distract sounds amazing i wish it would work for mine haha. I tried all kinds and the only thing that would work is what I do now. Otherwise i would have no chance haha

Oh it’s a constant mind game and adapting. When it stops working I’ll pin him down 😂
fine line isn’t it. He has to have his teeth cleaned, we have to clean them 🤷‍♀️

Oh god isnt it just! I hope you never have to pin him. It's not nice i hate it. I just count, like I said. And I tell him (not that he understands but I think its more to comfort me haha) that he would cry more with rotten teeth that need pulling out! He's just so stubborn and skilled at refusing and fighting me! He's definitely my child haha. Sadly for him i have more experience (and size.. For now.. Eek!)

Similar for nose wiping. He hates it. I tell him i dont make the snot I just clean it 😂 as hard as these things are (like when they fight and kick when you're trying to clean a shitty arse. 🤢) we will miss these ages. Its such a wonderful age and I often stare at him like a weirdo trying to commit his beautiful little face to memory, before he becomes a hairy stinky teen haha. We have our battles and our benefits don't we