Been made to feel shit about my baby's sleep

[Lupeyo]

This is my second baby so I should be immune to people's stupid opinions by now but christmas has done me in. My second DS is 5 months in a few days and the polar opposite of my eldest who was very independent from day dot and never wanted to contact nap or anything. This one is a hardcore velcro baby who only naps in the sling which I really don't mind - I just pop him I and he happily goes off and it doesn't bother me. At night he sleeps abysmally unless in bed with me so I tend to just have him in bed with me as he sleeps better and I sleep better like that. I don't object to sleep training at all but feel he's too little for it yet.

Anyway all over Christmas I've had in laws and other relatives express shock that he "still" doesn't sleep through the night. I know some babies of his age do but surely many don't - it's not that weird surely?! He's 5 months old not 5 years old!! Also had multiple opinions on sling use - "terrible for your spine and posture" "rod for your own back" "he'll be really clingy". Sorry but why would I spend hours and hours trying to force a crying baby to nap in his cot to get 20 minutes of sleep out of him when I know I can put him in the sling and within 2 minutes he'll be flat out for 2 hours?

If it stops working for us I'll rethink but at the moment it works for him and it works for me so why are other people up in my face about it? It's driven me mad all christmas.

Honestly just ignore ignore ignore! For what its worth, my daughter is nearly 9 months old now, total velcro baby, still doesn’t sleep through the night and every nap is a contact nap😂

The only opinion that matters is yours.

They can all hang about for a few hours and offer their unsolicited advice, but you're the one that has to live it day in, day out.

I have 6 dc and they have slept through from a couple of months to 3 years old, you adapt to the baby you have, not the baby you want imo.

It sounds like you're doing great op.

They sound idiotic. You know what works best for you and your baby, their opinions are just not relevant and plain wrong. There are few things more annoying than other people telling you how to get your baby to sleep, without knowing anything about your baby! Ignore them - you sound like you are doing a great job.

I'd be amazed by any baby sleeping through at 5 months. Nothing wrong with a contact nap and there's no risk to your spine (or his) unless you've got a crappy old style Baby Bjorn or something or aren't wearing it correctly but you'd be uncomfortable if you were.

They are being ridiculous

Please just ignore. My 4 month old is the same and I'm just soaking it all in and enjoying it no matter what people think. They're not going to still be doing it at 13 and we'll miss these moments at that point so stuff what anybody else says xx

Oh feel you. My first had severe reflux and slept like absolute shit until he was 14 months when we finally decided enough was enough and we very gently sleep trained. He was sorted within 2 nights and has been pretty good ever since. He's nearly 2 now. Slept through for the first time at a grand age of 17 months.

Our 2nd is 5 weeks old and is already a far better sleeper than him. She is a contact napper but will sleep okay at night in her crib when swaddled. We have done absolutely nothing different, she's just a chilled out baby.

The only way I've found effective in dealing with comments is having rock solid confidence that you're doing what's right for you. Times are very different from when our parents raised us and our generations philosophy on baby sleep, and understanding of the science, is very different. I don't think many parents I know have expected their babies to sleep through before 6 months!

My first was a dream, sleeping through in his own room from six months. Second, a total different baby. Would not entertain her crib...every nap was a contact nap. She is 2.5 years and still does not sleep through. I have now managed to get her to sleep in her own room using a floor bed, but whenever she wakes up, she pops through to my room. You do what works for you and your individual child...don't let other people's opinions get to you. You are doing an amazing job and that is all that matters.

Please ignore the idiotic comments. What do they know? My ds didn't sleep through until he was 2.5 years old.

Don't tell people stuff like this either. They've all got an opinion!

They sound ignorant. My DD didn't sleep through until she was 3yrs old.
If you want to get a good idea of what's normal at that age I think there are Wonder Weeks Facebook groups for each month, I joined 'Wonder Weeks October 2020' as that's when my DD was born and I get to see the issues other parents are facing all over the world, I've found it really helpful.