Driving mistakes

[drivingfumble]

Please no harsh comments 🙏🏻

I made two mistakes today. I've passed last December and I'm mid 30s with a DC so I'm not a careless one usually. And I'm feeling very bad in telling DH who'd be quite upset about it.

One was that my lights are set up at "Auto" but I don't know how they were turned off? I was driving today after a week. I didn't realize it until I drove 1/4th of a mile away from the original location. It was just half an hour ago so quite dark. And I immediately turned them on to auto and everything was fine.

Until I checked my left mirror and was closed because where I was parked it was a tight spot. I was nearly home so didn't stop to open it. But I know I should have and it's dangerous.

Is there going to be a fine that I should expect? Feeling a bit sick.

I think I'm going to do a mental checklist like I used to when I was learning. I may have started to become complacent.

I wouldn’t give it a second thought , just remember to check things in future . Why would you get a fine ? Did a policeman pull you over ?

No. Nobody pulled me over.

I was thinking maybe they may have captured me on a camera or something.

Do you drive for a brief time without your lights on (I assume this was in a well lit area) and forgot to pop your mirror out? These are errors people make from time to time. You aren't going to get a fine.

I think you are being very harsh on yourself. Why do you even need to mention the mistakes to your DH? Just make a mental note to always check in future before you set off that the lights are set to Auto and the mirrors are correctly positioned.

Has your car recently been serviced/mot? The garage will have changed the setting back to manual. I’ve driven without lights on a few times for this reason.

OP you're not going to get a fine, they are minor issues that you've rectified quickly. Everyone has done something like this at some point. I wouldn't bother mentioning it to DH.

I’m not sure the mirrors are even a legal requirement. My brother as a teenager broke one wing mirror and the rear view fell off. It got through the MOT as it still had one mirror! (This was 20 years ago.)

edited to add, I’ve just googled this as you have to have 2, one of which must be the drivers wing mirror. Not sure how the car got through the MOT but I’m sure it did, as I drove the car occasionally and had assumed he would have to finally pay to get the mirrors fixed for it and was very annoyed that he didn’t! Perhaps he just fixed one or perhaps the law changed.

You are not going to be fined. Almost all of us have driven out of a well-lit area at might, forgetting to turn lights on, till either another car flashed us, or we realised by ourselves! Same with wing mirrors - very occasionally they get moved in car parks as people pass, and you don't realise till you're driving.

You are being very harsh on yourself. Why would your DH be 'upset' about it? I hope 'upset' doesn't mean 'angry'?

I've been driving for 30 years. These things happen, they're easily done. Last year I drove off from the petrol station with my petrol cap dangling down and the little door flap still open. Had to jump out at the first traffic lights and fix it!!! Just felt stupid but no harm done. Don't beat yourself up. You're doing great I'm sure.

Thank you everyone. Really appreciate 🙏🏻
I don't drive very long distances and only within a 2-3 mile radius to do some shopping, birthday parties , nursery runs etc. although I've driven for 30 mile round trips a few times as well.

DH was the one who's been after me to learn drive and wanted me to be independent. I feel empowered by driving and I love it. DH has been driving for many years (over 20) so every time he's in car with me he points out mistakes or that I'm driving slow or too fast. When I do the same he's says he's experienced and I cannot argue.
So I thought if I share this incident with him he'd be pretty upset.

But the consensus is not to share and I won't and keep the peace.

i was flashed repeatedly by a car one early very dark morning whilst driving through the city centre and I couldn't work out why until they flashed the blue lights and the police car pulled up next to me to remind me to turn my lights on. Cameras aren't checking for lights or mirrors

DH has been driving for many years (over 20) so every time he's in car with me he points out mistakes or that I'm driving slow or too fast. When I do the same he's says he's experienced and I cannot argue.

You can tell him to shut the fuck up though.

It's quite disturbing how anxious you are about two perfectly ordinary mistakes, and now I see your husband criticises you I suspect that contributes to your anxiety.

Next time he criticises your driving, pull over (safely...) and give him three options: he can drive, he can get out, or he can shut up. Repeat as often as necessary.