Hand hold please

[deflatedbirthday]

My lovely FIL is currently on ICU on life support after an emergency operation due to bowel perforation. They haven't been able to wake him up yet for various reasons. He's very very poorly and the next hours are critical.

Sadly, in addition to and unrelated to this, he has terminal brain cancer which is aggressive. He was given three months three weeks ago. We were due to go away on one last family short break on Monday.

I am just devastated for him, for my DH, for the whole family.

I'm restless tonight. There's nothing any of us can do at the moment except wait and pray.

Wishing you strength, OP

So sorry to hear this. Sounds like you have a loving family. I am sending you strength

What a horrible time for all of you. I hope he improves and you get more good time with him than you are expecting.

I’m so sorry. I hope he pulls through the next few hours and days and that you manage to spend some more time together as a family.

Thank you both. He is most certainly in the very best hands. I work at the hospital he is at and it's a blessing and curse being aware of exactly what is going on. Some of the staff looking after him are my friends and colleagues which I'm grateful for and I know the family are too.

It's just a sad situation all round. Even if he does pull through the recovery will be difficult and he only has limited time as it is.

You sound so lovely and caring OP, which you would be as you have chosen a career working with people under trying situations.
I so hope your FIL is allowed the strength that is needed for him to be able to come around and be greeted by his loving family who are not ready to say goodbye to him yet.
Wishing you the strength OP that you need to help your DH and his family through this heart-wrenching time.💐

Just cannot settle. I'm pottering about, making endless cups of tea. I'll have worn a hole in the carpet soon. Constantly asking DH if he's ok. Which is stupid, he's not. None of us are. I'm so used to being able to help, and I can do nothing. DSC are with their DM. I'm having my niece and nephew tomorrow so SIL and BIL can go visit DFIL. I just want to take all the anxiety away from everyone.

Do what you need to do, pottering is fine, making tea is fine. You can't take the anxiety away but you are doing all you can to ease the practical burdens by helping with the childcare and being there for your family.

I know you do, you just want to make it all better.
Such a helpless feeling.
Within your profession, you're the one who is in control and in charge and able to offer help, care and advice to others but it's very different when it's people that are so close to you that are suffering.
You can only do what you can do and it sounds to me as if you are doing as much as you possibly can to make it easier on your husband's closest relatives, to make this situation as bearable as it can be.
There really isn't anything more you yourself can do but to be there and offer your support.
Your professional observation skills will help a lot in this situation.
Thinking of you and your family and trusting that all will be as it should be.
Holding your hand, from across the many miles...

Thank you. All of your kindness... it means the world right now xx

FIL is awake and talking. It's been a long few days but his blood pressure is improving and he's making better progress than anyone thought. Sadly it doesn't change his brain tumour diagnosis but we will have more time to make memories and that's all we can ask for.

Oh OP
I've been thinking about your post, and have wondered if you would share some good news, and you have.
You've all , as the loving family you are, been given the best gift this Christmas, bitter sweet as it is, you've been given more time together with your FIL.
I know you'll make the very best of this precious gift.
Thank you for sharing this better- than- hoped- for news.
All the very best to you all; hold each other closely for as long as you can. xx