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Original poster

Well this is a hard one

19 replies

Monsooning · 28/12/2024 19:02

Partner of 2 years - we don’t live together, no DC (both have kids from other relationships)

DP runs his own business. I work full time in quite a high pressure job. Around 6 months ago he asked me if I would consider doing some work for him for his business. I was reluctant as my role isn’t really a job you clock off from but he was offering a good rate of pay. He was really keen for me to help, assured me the hours would be set and there would be a contract, all above board etc, he also told me there is a Christmas bonus, he said this twice (this bit is important!)

So for the last six months I’ve been working for him in addition to my actual job; all fine.

I got paid this month and no bonus. Didn’t really think much of it until I had to look at the accounts (part of my role is ensuring invoices are paid). Everyone else got a very bloody nice bonus! Over 1k each.

I feel really awkward about it, there is no way he has forgotten, it isn’t in his nature and he is incredibly methodical with his work.

AIBU to be a bit pissed off? I only know about the bonus because he told me twice when he was trying to recruit me!

OP posts:
FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 28/12/2024 19:07

He's taking advantage of you.

PrincessofWells · 28/12/2024 19:09

Tell him. It was part of the terms of business/employment contract, even though it was verbal.

Mountainhowl · 28/12/2024 19:09

Ask him where your bonus is, maybe he's planning to pay it 'cash' and save you the tax?

RandomMess · 28/12/2024 19:09

Ask him where is your bonus as he offered it verbally as part of the arrangement of you working for him.

Paradoes · 28/12/2024 19:10

Totally taking advantage of you

it says a lot when he promised it

Santaisinbedalready · 28/12/2024 19:14

Ask him when you bonus will hit your account.. If it's a no you simply resign.. From the job and him imo.

FeelingSad2024 · 28/12/2024 19:16

Did you get a written contract? Is the bonus mentioned in the contract?

Even if not, I'd mention it to him that it was mentioned by him twice verbally when recruiting you

Original poster
Monsooning · 28/12/2024 19:18

It isn’t in the contract - I checked yesterday.

Theres no way I’m not going to mention it; it will just piss me off more and more if I don’t. He knows I can see the accounts, and therefore the wages. Such an odd thing to do

OP posts:
NoPrivateSpy · 28/12/2024 19:20

Think this conversation needs to be held quickly and kept fact based initially. I was expecting a bonus because we discussed it, I can see everyone else has received theirs. Is there a hold up with mine or is there some other reason I am not receiving one? Etc.

Establish the facts (on the off chance there is another reason) and then take it from there once you understand why.

Tanfastic · 28/12/2024 19:22

Yeah I'd be pissed off by this. A simple "where's MY bonus" is all it needs. See what he says.

Moveoverdarlin · 28/12/2024 19:25

This would be awkward if it was your actual employer but it’s not, it’s your partner. I wouldn’t be the slightest bit hesitant about saying to my husband ‘Oi! Tightwad! Pay up. You promised me a Christmas bonus and I got f all. All the others have got theirs - I’ve checked. I expect £1000 to be in my account by close of play. Oh and I’m adding on £150 for the late payment and your bad behaviour.’

EveryKneeShallBow · 28/12/2024 19:33

Are you certain he’s actually put you through the books? Could he be saving on employment costs by paying you himself, not through the business?

Nothatgingerpirate · 28/12/2024 19:40

Hard one?
Don't work for your bloody partner if you have your own job.
In fact, he can swivel.

Sunset6 · 28/12/2024 19:51

Surely it’s only people who’ve worked the full year who get a bonus? That’s the way it works in my company. Otherwise you’d get people who only joined last month expecting one

Ginkypig · 28/12/2024 19:55

A simple where is the Christmas bonus you told me I’d get when you asked me to take on the role?
as you know part of my job is to look over the accounts so I know they have already been paid.

if he can’t come up with a good answer or tries to manipulate the situation or if in some other way you are not happy with the result of the conversation then hand in your notice and tell him you took this on as a favour to him but you won’t have the piss taken out of you.

Ginkypig · 28/12/2024 19:56

Sunset6 · 28/12/2024 19:51

Surely it’s only people who’ve worked the full year who get a bonus? That’s the way it works in my company. Otherwise you’d get people who only joined last month expecting one

I would have said that too but he told her she would get one when he offered her the job

daisychain01 · 28/12/2024 20:05

How disrespectful!

and having to point it out and ask for the money - demeaning.

i wouldn't stand for that.

Endofyear · 28/12/2024 20:14

I would just ask him straight out. Don't let it fester - get it out in the open!

yupyup · 28/12/2024 20:21

Ask directly, and openly. The best relationships are built on trust and open conversation.

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